Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Word of the Day 10/12/11
Word of the Day
sonic boom [son-ik-boom]
noun
1. a loud noise generated by the shockwave of an aircraft moving at supersonic speed.
EX. Rainbow Dash achieves sonic boom to catch Rarity and the Lightning Bolts before they hit the ground (like a boss).
Announcement.
Thank you and keeping being awesome.
P.S. Thinking of joining tumblr and doing double posts between there and here. Thoughts?
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
MIXED BAG! SUPER HISTORY YEAH!
SUPER HISTORY YEAH! presents
The Lost Colony of Roanoke
DISCLAIMER: None of the following is necessarily true or sane.
On August 18, 1590, an expeditionary group landed on Roanoke Island and found, to their horror and confusion, that the Roanoke Colony had disappeared. Evidence suggested that the colonist had left in a hurry or were forcibly taken from their camp. The only other clue they left was the word "Croatan" carved into a tree. Ever since historians and scientists have searched for the truth. The following is one version of the truth provide by one Prof. Franklin Butts.
"Alright, you little farts listen up cuz the Prof is about to lay down the past prophecy, American history, the truth, dog. The year was like 1590, and some pilgrims were hanging out on the Island of Roanoke and having a great time. Yeah, they were starving and sick but they were having too much fun messing with the Natives to go home. They would blame the natives for stealing a silver cup or some other useless piece of crap and then totally over retaliate by sackin' and burnin' and just generally wreckin' their villages. It was a pretty sweet gig. But, alas, all turkey's get eaten and no thanks would be given that day.
That day came on a beautiful June morning. The pilgrims were hanging out by their fort, and were making a day out of counting how many kinds of trees there were around the fort, when all of the sudden a bright light shone down from the heavens. The pilgrims were freaking out cuz they figured it was God taking them up to heaven. But it wasn't. They had been abducted by aliens. Native American aliens who built the pyramids.
This one chick with the Roanoke crowd named Mary looked around and when she saw a Native walk up, she was like "Yo Injun, what's going on here?"
The alien pulled out a taser and said, "We're taking your shoes. Those buckles look pretty swank."
The pilgrims were all kinda pissed but what could they do. They took off their shoes and Mary demanded to see their Captain.
She got her wish because of her insistence and Cptn. Steam Weasel was like, "How?"
Mary was like, "Is this the work of the god or the devil?"
"One sec." The Cptn was kind of a bad ass and looked down a periscope and shot their ship with a laser, "Boosh! Nice boat!"
"Hey! That was our boat!"
"Too bad!" The Captain shrugged,"Oh and we killed your god..."
5000 Years Earlier....
God is chilling in space, cross-legged, and just kinda resting in the upper atmosphere when a little space ship flew up in his face. God snapped, "The fuck?" And the aliens told him that if he didn't move and give up the planet they would kill him. God scoffed, "Pfft. Yeah, I'd like to see ya try!" So they shot him with a laser and he was like, "Ouch! Damn! Fuck! I'm dying. You fucking bastards! You know what....if I can't have it you can't have it!" and he pulled a lever and the Earth flooded and his last act was to put Jesus in an escape pod.
Back to 1590....
"Blasphemer!" Mary screeched and the Captain pressed another button and teleported the Roanoke colony into space as he pulled on his sweet buckle shoes.
As for the writing on the trees? The Captain put that there to eff with the British colonial pigs. And that's what happened to Madison Square Gardens."
Thank you and keep on dreaming!
Word of the Day. 10/11/11
Word of the Day
EX. This blogger suffers from sensory overload. Don't tell anyone but it's my kryptonite. Maybe I'll blog about this on Thursday.
sensory overload [sen-suh-ree-oh-ver-lohd]
noun
1. a condition of receiving too much information or stimulation via visual or audio sources; overstimulation of one or more senses.
Daily Round-Up 10/10/11
Ditto is an abomination I have covered a couple of times in my blog. It really is a horrifying creation and probably the most disturbing of the Pokemon. Considering there are soul-stealing Pokemon and serial killing Pokemon, this is quite the impressive feat. Combine Ditto with John Carpenter's The Thing and SMOSH has hit just the right cord.
"I made this half-pony half-monkey monster to please you
But I get the feeling that you don’t like it
What’s with all the screaming?
You like monkeys, you like ponies
Maybe you don’t like monsters so much
Maybe I used too many monkeys
Isn’t it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?" -Skullcrusher Mountain, Jonathan Coulton
A new show from Adult Swim? A new show that is a six-part miniseries? A miniseries that seems to parody Twin Peaks and Stephen King? A miniseries staring the awesome talent of Patton Oswalt? This can't come soon enough!
This week is inevitably going to become "The Thing Week," I just know it. This is another awesome song from the Kaplan Bros.
Monday, October 10, 2011
MUSICAL MONDAY! JOHN CARPENTER'S THE THING?
Musical Monday!
John Carpenter's The Thing is currently my favorite horror movie. The inhabitants- scientists, pilots, etc.- of a research station in Antarctica are confronted by a terrible shape-shifting alien that takes the shape of people/animals it kills. Everything about the film is just perfect, but the main reason I love this film is rather simple. The characters in the film act like any person, with common sense, would act in this situation. They almost do everything that they should do and show great courage in the face of an enemy that could come from anywhere and be anyone. The casting is spot-on, with Kurt Russel providing Carpenter with another iconic performance as R.J. MacReady, the practical special effects still hold up, and the film is so complex that it will stand as one of the greats for years to come.
Check it out. I give it a 5/5.
Word of the Day. 10/10/11
Word of the Day
propaganda [prop-uh-gan-duh]
noun
1. information, ideas, or rumors deliberately spread widely to help or harm a person, group, nation, etc.
EX. I don't know what it is going on with North Korea's newest bout of propaganda but if it means Ash Ketchum has become the newest despot in Eastern Asia, we're all doomed. Arceus preserve us!
WEEKLY ROUND-UP 10/2-10/8 2011
WEEKLY ROUND-UP:
I'll Kill You to Death Week
 |
| Note: Superboy Prime is the Jar Jar Binks of the DC Universe. |
We lost a titan of tech industry this week and, even though I am not a fan of his products, company or the man himself, I respect Steve Jobs for having the gonads to succeed and live the life of a James Bond villain.
"Genius never rests, even in death."
I really can't recommend The Book of Mormon musical enough. It is probably my favorite new musical. Call me biased because I wanted to write a musical about a Mormon who goes on crazy adventures in the world, including meeting the Queen of the Dominatrices. In the end, the musical was created and written by MATT PARKER AND TREY STONE, the creators of SOUTH PARK! Check out this musical. It's by no means G-Rated but it has a great message that I think we all can agree with.
I dunno what to say about this one but I find it more bizarre than the goriest or most perverse scenes I've seen from the most insane of anime and manga. This is just bizarre fan service.
Rummy shouldn't feel so ashamed of his body. Yes, rhinos are incapable of walking backward and are near sighted but they're also exceptional conversationalists, philosophers and navigators.
This picture was just begging for some attention and I can't stop but feel a little perverse tickle in my heart when I see it.
Damn these chibi Doctors, they drive me to blog.
I am really proud of how this chapter came out. I was nervous about writing about such a character who was such a fantastic creature. I was a little weary about how to go forward but after writing this one I am more enthused than ever to continue.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
NERD CULTURE SMACKDOWN #5 WHO-LLOWEEN Pt.1
NERD SMACKDOWN PRESENTS
WHO-LLOWEEN
There is something special about Halloween. It could be the soursweet smell of candy corn or the ring of your doorbell with an inevitable, "Trick or Treat!" I believe it is the spirit of embracing the horrific with a laugh. Children, young and old, dress up as the ghastliest of ghouls from poltergeists to politicians or as their favorite characters from Disney Princesses to Doctor Who.
Doctor Who's greatest strength is that, because its a show about an alien and his human companions traveling through time and space, there is no limit to the kind of story that can be told. The best Doctor Who stories involve the strange and terrible monsters that combine the best elements of horror. British parents tell their children how they used to hide behind the couch when the Daleks came on TV but they lack the same punch. Sure, Daleks are a great match for the Doctor, but it is hard to be scared of them. They're basically a mix between Marvin the Martian, R2 D2 and wasps (What? If wasps could they would "exterminate" every living thing on Earth). The scariest Doctor Who villains are the ones who hold the mystery.
So, to celebrate Halloween I will talk about the scariest monsters of the 9th, 10th and 11th Doctors. Starting this week, we have
 | ||
| THE EMPTY CHILD |
Appearances: Series 1(2005): The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances TRAILER
Powers: The Empty Child cannot die, he can punch through concrete walls, he can communicate through any device with a radio transceiver and he can spread his will through touch (and eventually the air). If infected by The Empty Child, you soon grow a scar on your left hand, then a gas mask grows out from your mouth, over your face, and you lose everything you ever were, becoming just an extension of his army.
Weaknesses: He is just a child and can be coerced like a child. A lullaby can lull him to sleep and a stern authoritative command can send him away. Yet, even these weaknesses can be ignored if you're in the way of The Empty Child's misson.
Motive: He wants his mummy?
Catchphrase: "Are you my mummy?"
MIXED BAG. Blog Shout Out #1
Indistinguishable from Magic: Dresden Codak Author Aaron Diaz's Blog About Comics (For Some Reason).
I love super heroes. Some hipster comic book guys think that super heroes are trite or that they should all be edgy/morally ambiguous but I love seeing some sweet comic book action. I was excited about the new 52 because it promised some new perspectives of our favorite heroes. Instead, we get a mixed bag, that I don't think took enough risks.
Above is a link to Aaron Diaz's tumblr, Indistinguishable from Magic, and he had me at marble Wonder Woman. As someone who wants to create my own super heroes that both honor the idea that power doesn't always corrupt but embraces newer styles, ideas and concepts, I really appreciate the redesigns that Diaz has proposed.
An example I really liked was his redesign of Starfire, which took a note from the Teen Titans cartoon, and gives her a cheerful look without making her look, well, like a space slut. Down with space sluts, up with a truly alien Superman.
Word of the Day 10/9/11
Word of the Day
temporal [tem-per-uhl]
adjective
1. of or pertaining to time.
2. pertaining to or concerned with the present or the present life or the world, at present.
3. enduring for a time only; temporary; transitionary.
spatial/spacial [spey-shuhl]
adjective
1. of or pertaining to space.
2. existing or occurring in space.EX. Amelia Pond dreamt of many things in the Pandorica. She dreamt of a silly, old, and kind Doctor of all things temporal and spacial. She dreamt of his blue policeman box, bigger on the inside. She dreamt of the plastic Centurion standing as her ever watchful guardian. She dreamt as the stars went out.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
SCI-FI FANTASY FRIDAY! ACTION SOCIETY #5
Fantasy Friday
I play Dungeons and
Dragons every Friday. That is to say I run a 4th Edition Dungeons & Dragons
campaign every Friday set in the country of Beniro. As such I've decided to
chronicle the hero's adventures from the perspective of different characters my
friends play. Each week and each short chapter I will rotate the perspective so you
can get a feel for all the characters. I will try my best to capture my
friend's characters and the adventures they go on. I might change some elements
but know I do it for the story.
A lot of the art I will be
using is not credited, so if you know the artist, tell me and I'll label it
appropriately.
CHAPTER 1- Lorafaine
CHAPTER 2- Aramil
CHAPTER 3 - Ryjac
CHAPTER 4- Lucius
CHAPTER 2- Aramil
CHAPTER 3 - Ryjac
CHAPTER 4- Lucius
THE ACTION SOCIETY
BOOK 1
RISE OF THE WHITE SPIDER
CHAPTER 5
NADARR
At the crowing
of the first rooster, Nadarr Thunderstone awoke and climbed out of his
makeshift bed in the mule stables behind a small inn. He looked up at the
darkness hanging overhead and a soft steam rose from his face as he breathed in
the air of an early morning. He shook his body out, morning dew having settled
on his warm scales overnight, the dreadlock-like extensions on his head rustling.
With another breath, Nadarr sat on the stone floor beneath him, in not but a
pair of green long johns, and he cleared his throat with a deep rumble. He took
the chain from around his neck and held the ornament on the end of it to his
forehead and then to his lips, before placing it on his lap. The ornament was a
metal fist holding a lightning bolt. He closed his eyes and began to pray to
Kord.
As he prayed,
the dragonborn relived every vibration of the previous night’s storm. Most of
the inhabitants of Doktham were unaware of it, tucked away under the ground,
safely, protected from the tempest above as they slept. Yet, Nadarr had felt
every lightning strike against the Shale Mountains, and had heard the thunder
shake ever loose stone and coward from where it cowered in the dark. Every bolt
of lightning is a lashing from Kord’s blade, and every roar of thunder is a
roar of impatience from the Thunderlord, as he surveys all below him from his
throne above the world, and finds himself disgusted with all but the most
brave, the most strong and the most honorable. Kord decides who among the dead
are most worthy; worthy of being in his army in the unending battle of the next
world. Nadarr knew this, and so he prayed.
Nadarr had known this since before he knew
anything else, before he was even born. His father, Derrak, and his mother,
Krina, were farmers, raising chickens and cattle, on a mountainside in Southern
Mardunar, just across the border from their ancestral homeland, Arkhosia. The
most important god to the dragonborn peoples of Arkhosia is Bahamut, the Platinum
Dragon; the god who stands in opposition of evil, and protects the humble and weak.
Yet, Mardunar was a land that shared a border with two enemy nations, and had
no patience for the meek. Mardunar was a land of warriors. Most Mardunian
dwarves and dragonborns worshipped Kord, above the other gods, and practiced
their martial skill in all things. Even Derrak and Krina woke up every morning
at dawn to pray to the Thunderlord and, after doing their farm work, spent
their evenings practicing their swordplay in the same fields they had sown. In
a land of warriors, battle is the greatest opportunity to impress their gods.
Yet, Mardunar,
and the entire Beniro kingdom, had not seen a full-scale war in centuries
because the people had beaten back all worthy enemies into submission or death.
The Mardunarians grew restless, but still trained even though, without the
opportunity to prove their mettle in combat, they felt as if they were wasting
their time. Derrak and Krina believed they were being punished by Kord for this
time of peace. They had been married for decades and, despite their efforts,
they had not a child and, because dragonborns live short lives, they feared
they would have no one to carry on their legacy. They prayed every morning for
Kord to bless them with a strong warrior to carry on their name.
Finally, after
years of trying, Krina laid a clutch of dragonborn eggs. But at the same time, Derrak
had visions of a disaster befalling their home and the eggs being destroyed. He
believed Kord had stopped protecting them and, that any day soon, the path of a
war band of savage gnolls or a giant would stumble into their farm’s land or an
ancient red dragon would seek revenge and destroy their eggs. So, the couple
trained harder than ever, in order to protect the eggs from any who would harm
them.
One day while
out in the field’s training, a storm brewed overhead, and the elderly couple
did not even stop training as hail began to fall. It had been raining and
sleeting all day. Suddenly, a great warm wind blew from the West and over the
side of the mountain. It was so intense that they had to find shelter behind a
rock from the cutting wind. That was when they heard a sound worse than thunder
tearing down the mountain. The two dragonborns looked over the boulder and saw
the most terrifying sight they had ever seen.
It was more
ravenous than a horde of thousand starved gnolls, greater in size than a storm
titan and roared louder than any dragon imaginable. It was a black tornado that
stretched from the ground, which it tore as easily through as a shovel through
sand, to the dark heavens above, where it seemed to go on and on forever. It
tore great trees from the mountain side that had stood a hundred years or more
and it threw boulders through the air as if they were blades of grass. Nothing
seemed safe in the twister’s path as it carved a vicious path of destruction
across the hills and brought a tempest of lightning in its wake. Suddenly, it veered
to the right and tore through their fields and toward their home. “The eggs!”
They shouted in unison and, without a second thought, climbed over the boulder
and sprinted for their cottage to save their unborn hatchlings.
Just as the
couple made it into their home and, they each grabbed one handle of the chest
they had been keeping the eggs warm in, the black twister pulled the cottage
apart. Krina and Derrak held onto the chest with all their strength until,
their muscles screamed in agony and the chest slipped from their grasp. They
were thrown into the mud below, as the tornado carried on its path of destruction
down the mountainside. Derrak awoke first but did not see where Krina had
landed. Desperately, he shouted her name until his throat was raw and he could
barely stand from the beating he had just taken. He then found their chest. To
his horror, its contents had spilled out and their eggs were cracked and
crushed. He let out one final roar of anguish as he sunk to the mud and
squeezed the cracked shells in his bloodied hands. That’s when he heard a hoarse
croak, “Derrak…?”
Stumbling to his
feet, he dragged himself toward the voice, and saw his wife, curled up in the
mud. Derrak reached to pull Krina to her feet and found that she was holding
something to her chest. It was one last egg, the lone survivor of their clutch,
and it was whole. Derrak pulled his wife to her feet and found them a shelter
in the storm. Krina lay next to the fire he built, holding the egg, and not
saying a word. Derrak walked to the mouth of the cave, overlooking the
decimated valley below, through the downpour of rain that had replaced the wind
and, trembled with fury. He cursed Kord and demanded an answer for why he would
bring such ruin upon him and his wife. His words were drowned out by a crack of
thunder as a bolt of lightning struck the mountain crag. Krina called from
inside the cave, and Derrak rushed inside to see that the lone egg had a big
crack in the middle of it.
Derrak rushed
forward but Krina stayed him with her hand and, lo and behold, a little face looked
up at them from the egg. Krina stood up and carried the infant dragoborn, pale
as milk, to the mouth of the cave. She held the baby up, rain falling on its
head and a thunder crack rolling across them. Yet, the baby did not cry. It let
out a laugh. Derrak held his wife and his infant, as all three of them laughed,
and cried, in the face of the storm. Derrak named the baby boy, Nadarr; the
name of his father’s fathe; the name that in Draconic meant, “Storm blessed.”
The elderly couple then sat with their child in the cave and prayed to their
god-the Thunderlord, and prayed that their son would serve him well.
Nadarr opened
his eyes and uncrossed his legs. Rising to his feet, he stretched his arms and
legs, before returning his holy symbol to its place around his neck. He then
reentered the stable and picked up his breast plate, dusting the dirt off and
pulling bits of hay from where they had gotten caught between the scales. He
pulled on each piece of armor with great care and pulled his shield onto his
back. He then picked up his sword, Gerhester,
Draconic for the very same storm that killed his unhatched siblings, and attached
it to his belt. He stepped out of the stable and began walking to the gate.
At 15, he was
fully grown physically and had been trained by a skilled Knight of the Azure
Sky, Sir Ekkbar. He had squired the knight since he was just a boy. He had
killed goblins and wild men. He had defended a fort, through a siege, against
an invasion of zealous Templars from the south. He was as brave, honorable and
strong as his parents had always hoped he would be and they were proud. Yet, he
had never had a quest; and for a chance to prove his mettle against foes and
struggles worthy of his effort, Nadarr prayed.
*****
Word of the Day 10/8/11
Word of the Day
 |
| "Allons-y, alonzo!" |
bootstrap paradox [boot-strap-par-uh-doks]
noun
1 . a paradox of time travel in which information or objects can exist without being created. After information or an object is sent back in time, it is recovered in the present, and becomes the very object/information that was initially brought back in time in the first place.
EX. For example, in the classic 2007 episode of Dr. Who, "Blink," the Doctor records a message on film in 1969 in the form of a half-conversation. The other half is then provided by Lawrence Nightingale, after she sees the film in 2007, and then she hands the transcript to the Doctor before he goes back to 1969, thus creating a time paradox in which the scripted conversation has no clear origin. This is a perfect example of a bootstap paradox.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Word of the Day. 10/711
misanthrope [mis-uhn-throhp, miz-uhn-throhp]
noun
1. a hater of humankind.
sociopath [soh-seeuh-path]
noun
1. a person whose behavior is anti-social and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or a social conscience.
ultraviolence [uhl-truh-vahy-uh-lehnt]
noun
1. acts of random, brutal, and/or vicious abuse or assault.
EX. A Clockwork Orange's Alex is the perfect example of a likeable misanthropic sociopath. Despite committing acts of "ultraviolence", including rape, Alex is so charismatic, and so entertaining, and the state is so oppressive, that by the end of the film you side with the disturbed anti-hero.
DAILY ROUND-UP! 10/6/11
Pic on left completely unrelated (but cool). This webcomic is pretty groovy but the part starting in the link above is a hilarious bit of Pokemon satire involving a "Mr. Fish." The comic lampoons all kinds of video game culture, so check it out, and keep it manly.
Maybe, maybe not. George R. R. Martin is pretty big right now, thanks to the popularity of the Song of Fire and Ice book series and the Game of Thrones HBO series.
I can just imagine sitting down to a bowl of cereal and enjoying the win-sauce of a Saturday Morning TF 2 animated series.
And finally.... NEW SUPER MARIO 3D LAND TRAILER!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Word of the Day. 10/6/11
exorbitant [ig-zawr-bi-tuhnt]
adjective
1. exceeding the bounds of custom, propriety or reason, especially in the amount or extent; excessive.
EX. If you thought that Horse Armor was an excessive piece of DLC, wait until you see the exorbitant Crab Armor in Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.
*Just in case someone is silly enough to think this is legit, it's not. Buy this frickin' game 11/11/11.
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