Friday, May 22, 2015


What happens when Jontron gets a big youtube budget? Well, first, let's consider how that is even possible! Jontron is partnered with Polaris, who is owned by Disney, who owns Star Wars! This cross-platform cross-promotional plan means we all win as viewer's of Jontron!

I think.

Still, if you wanna see Jontron play every Star Wars game ever made, start HERE!

Then, we got Dunkey playing da Sims. Ain't much to say but, if you wanna watch him raise Baby Kanye, this is where you do it. Oh dunkey.

Is this joke maybe a little played out? Yes. Does the animation, quality voice acting, and hilarious end joke make up for that? Absolutely.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

WORD OF THE DAY! 5/21/16! (Unbox-King #16 Joker Figure)

jongleur [jong-loo-er]
1. An itinerant minstrel or entertainer who sang songs, often of his own composition, and told stories.

EX. I wonder if they call the Joker something different in French? Le Jongleur?

Tuesday, May 19, 2015


imperator [im-per-uh-tawr]
1. An absolute or supreme ruler.
2. (in Imperial Rome) Emperor.
3. (in Republican Rome) A temporary title awarded to victorious generals.

"Mad Max: Fury Road is the new standard for action cinema.

It is unique, it is heart pounding, it is mad. Every frame is a beautiful piece of overstimulation. You will lean forward, unblinking and your breath will be taken away by a spectacle that needs to be seen in theatres.

Oh what a lovely day, indeed. 5/5."

And that summed up my feelings after watching the film but, if you'll indulge me, I'll expand upon my gushing a little bit:

The story is pretty elementary and follows the Mad Max formula we know from the last two films (Road Warrior and Beyond Thunderdome). Max (Tom Hardy) is a lone survivor in a post-apocalyptic nuclear wasteland created by a conflict over resources, specifically "guzz-a-line" (gasoline + accents), and in a new and welcome addition, water. The world is cruel, stark and empty of all but the mad remnants of humanity and a lot of road rage. Max is just trying to survive but, as always, he is dragged kicking and screaming into playing hero. In this film though, he takes the passenger side seat to a noble bad-ass Imperator Furiosa (Charlize Therone). Some critics tried to rake up some controversy by calling out false advertising on a film that, arguably, should've been called "Furiosa's Road" rather than following Max. And you know what? Who cares!? Furiosa is one of the strongest female protagonists in a long time!

While Max is a reluctant hero, a violent but ultimately sefless mad man driven by guilt and survival, Furiosa is a heroine molded in the shape of the Alien franchise's Ripley and Kill Bill's The Bride and she steals the show (as she should). I don't want to give away too much of the rather simple story, so I'll keep her motives short:

Furiosa is the imperator, victorious general, and driver of the War Rig (a prize truck) in warlord and cult leader's Immortan Joe's convoy. Immortan Joe (played by Hugh Keays-Byrne who, incidentally, also played the villain in the original film) rules the Citadel, a desert fortress with access to the most valuable resource in the wasteland, clean drinking water, and he rules it with a fist of grubbing, greasy heavy metal-- everyone in the Citadel is his property, controlled by violence, dependence on water, and cult-like adulation for the leader-- and the metal arm wielding Furiosa seeks to undermine the tyrant by stealing away his most prize possessions, his harem of enslaved wives.

In a cruel, cruel world, Immortan Joe makes it crueler.

From the moment Furiosa leaves the Citadel to the explosive climax, the film becomes a series of intense chase scenes inter-spaced with world building, plot, and character development. And that would usually sound bad. After all, that sounds like the Fast and the Furious. The difference? Mad Max manages to elevate itself from its contemporaries by filling every glorious frame with the best stunts, the best cinematography, and the best kind of insanity. I call it a masterwork of over-stimulation.

Over-stimulation can be a nuisance. Many CGI heavy films are notorious for trying to fill every busy frame with as much crap as possible (like the Star Wars prequels) and they bombard you with obnoxiously loud sound and intercut shaky shots of the action that make it difficult to tell what is going on (Bay's Transformers films). Mad Max: Fury Road evades this quagmire by relying on traditional cinema. The vehicles are real, the stunts are as real as stunts can be, and the film is shot brilliantly. When CGI is used in the film, presumably for explosions, small details and things difficult to pull off with traditional effects, it is not distracting. The film is awe inspiring.

As I sat in the theater, every time the film took a break from the otherwise non-stop action, I could audibly hear the audience deeply inhale. Why? Because they were holding their breaths in anticipation! There was no obnoxious commentary, no inappropriate laughter and no cellphones lighting up the view before me. The film captivated the audience for two hours. And that's a film's damn job.

George Miller did a damn fine job directing the sequel to his own films.

If you go see two films this summer, go see Mad Max: Fury Road and then go see Mad Max: Fury Road again! Cliched? Yes. Do I care? NO!

The film has a guy with a guitar that shoots flames, suspended by bungie cords, driving in a war convoy through the desert.

Monday, May 18, 2015


Oi! So, if you're not a total knob or weren't born yesterday or aren't living under a rock with googly eyes, you probably have fond memories of playing Rareware's Banjo-Kazooie! The Nintendo 64 console, starting with Super Mario 64, was defined by collect-a-thon 3D platformers that usually involved a hubworld, collecting power-ups/abilities, and trying to save someone or some place from some baddy. They usually involve cartoon characters, a lot of zany music and comedy. The king, in my opinion, of these platformers was the Banjo Kazooie franchise.

And, after Microsoft has bungled away the goodwill and reputation of both Rare and Banjo Kazooie, in a landscape where these types of platformers are all but nostalgia of retro gamers, it seems less and less likely we'll get a proper Banjo sequel anytime soon.

So, when I found out that Playtonic, a studio comprised of a lot of old Rare vets, was finally making a spiritual successor to the Banjo franchise... I was a little excited. After seeing the gameplay footage, the folks involved, and just the general presentation of their kickstarter, I'm a lot excited.

And you should be too! You play as delightful duo, Yooka the Chameleon and Laylee the Bat, as you battle baddies, collect coins, and gain useful abilities along the way, in your quest to, presumably, save the day!
Please kickstart Yooka-Laylee today!

3D platforming is your style of retro gaming? Then how about, as we witness Konami flush their credentials down the toilet by cutting ties with Hideo Kojima, canceling the new Silent Hill, and making the statement they will be focusing on mobile games, we look at something beautiful, dark, and CASTLEVANIA-ish!

Led by Koji "IGA" Igarashi, one of the godfathers of Metroid-vania style platformers and specifically the co-director of legendary Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night clearly seeks to be the spiritual successor to the 2D Castlevania games.

With rich gothic art style, haunting music, and the collective will to make a proper Castlevania style game, in a world that needs it, I can't wait to see how IGA and his team at Inti Creates deliver.

I hope you will pledge your sword or at least your coin to this cause.

Maybe the future of gaming isn't in the hands of multi-billion dollar entities. Maybe the future of gaming is in the hands of small studios like Playtonic and Inti Creates. Only time will tell, but you can speak up and contribute with your wallet today.