WTF WED! ALIEN 5: SHARKS FROM THE BLACK HOLE!

SLIPPERY SHOWER!

You come home. You hear something upstairs. Someone is taking a shower. You creep up the stairs to investigate and realize that your partner is washing off. A playful though emerges. You step into the bathroom and disrobe. You pull the curtain and...

THE HOLE!

Between running a Call of Cthulhu game and watching Christopher Nolan's Interstellar, I find myself obsessed with metaphysical horror because, when confronted by the unexplainable and unconfrontable, humans will try to explain and confront it.

That is fascinatingly horrible or is it just horrible fascinating? I don't know.

ALIEN 5: HEY MAN!

I really wanna play Alien: Isolation. Even if the last horror video game I played made me jump about and flail like a fish at the first jump scare. Once again, humans feel they must confront such things. Or run. Probably just run. Well, run and hide. Yeah. That makes sense...

WORD OF THE DAY! 10/2/14!

INTERSTELLAR TRAILER #3

interstellar [in-ter-stel-er]
adjective
1. Situated or occuring between stars.

EX. Christopher Nolan is one of the most influential directors of the last yen years, with films like Memento, The Dark Knight, and Inception as medals pinned to his breast, because of his ability to tell simple stories in complex ways and complex stories in simple ways. Nolan believes directors are authors first and should experiment with the narrative. Combined with the biggest budgets and impressive visuals, mixing real locations and action with top notch CGI, Nolan's films are spectacles that manage to go further than most blockbuster films rather merely shooting for the lowest common denominator.

Lately, optimistic space films have had a resurgence with Gravity and Guardians of the Galaxy wowing audiences. Nolan's take on the space film, Interstellar, looks to be another success story in the making. Especially thanks to the casting of Matthew McConnaughey in the lead who, in the last couple of years, has become one of the most talented and entertaining actors working today. If this performance is anything like True Detective, then I'm gonna be raving about this film.

As long as it doesn't having any Prometheus level stupidity, am I right guys?

RUN LEFT OR RIGHT YOU IDIOTS!

WORD OF THE DAY! 7/24/14!

MIKE MIGNOLA'S THE AMAZING SCREW-ON HEAD PILOT!!

screw-on [skroo-on]
adjective
1. Attached, connected, or closed by screwing onto another part of a container or receptacle.

EX. What do you get when you turn a one-shot Dark Horse comic by Hellboy's creator/writer/artist Mike Mignola into an animated pilot for the Sci-Fi Channel (now known as the idiotic nomer of "Syfy"), back in 2006, featuring the voice talents of Paul Giamatti and David Hyde Pierce? 

You get The Amazing Screw-On Head!

Set during the Lincoln Administration, the pilot follows government robotic agent The Amazing Screw-On Head (Paul Giamatti) in a manhunt for a academic who was kidnapped by a she-werewolf and a talking chimp with a gun and leads him down a path of painful memories when he discovers his former employee, now known as Emperor Zombie (David Hyde Pierce), is planning something nefarious involving the release of a primordial demigod from its turnipy lair.

It is weird, wonderful, and Sci-Fi skipped out on producing a full series. We quietly weep, the world keeps turning, and we have solace in the fact that Mike Mignola, the man who created the design of Mr. Freeze in Batman the Animated Series, is still making comics.

On a depressing side note, Del Toro said Hellboy 3 is unlikely to be picked up by Hollywood thanks to the poor box office performance of Hellboy 2.

WORD OF THE DAY! 3/11/14!

COSMOS: A SPACETIME ODYSSEY PREMIER

"STANDING UP IN THE MILKY WAY"

cosmos [koz-mohs]
noun
1. The world, or universe, organized into an ordered system.
2. A complete, orderly, and harmonious system.
3. Order; harmony.
4. A tropical American plant of the genus Cosmos cultivated for their brightly colored flowers.

EX. Observing and considering the cosmos can make you feel small; after all, what is a man to the world? What is a planet to a star? What is a star to a galaxy? What is a galaxy to a universe? What is any finite object or objects observable compare to the seemingly infinite? Can one person, one finite observer, ever begin to comprehend the cosmos?

There are the sorts of questions that might come to mind when watching Cosmos: A Personal Voyage, the classic educational television series covering a variety of scientific subjects presented by astronomer Carl Sagan in 1980, and these are the sorts questions we still ask ourselves over 30 years later. Since Sagan's death in 1996, his widow, and co-creator of the original Cosmos program, Ann Druyan, along with Steven Soter, a producer from the original seires, and astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson sought to bring a sequel to the original Cosmos to television. Unfortunately, they struggled for years with television networks who failed to see the broad appeal of the show. This seems slightly odd, considering the original award winning show has been seen by 500 million people in over 60 countries. So, how did we get a new Cosmos program?

Seth MacFarlane, the television juggernaut (love him or hate him) is the world's highest paid write in television, created a lot of extremely successful television (once again, despite his critics), and has a very sincere passion for science and science fiction. Even though MacFarlane is quoted as saying that he was the "least essential person in this equation", his involvement probably helped. But it would be unfair to give him all of the credit for the Cosmos sequel finally getting the okay.

The other big factor is that, after the success of many science focused programming and films, science has become mainstream. We live in a world where a scientific thriller, Gravity, about an astronaut being stranded above Earth was a huge hit and took away more Academy Awards this year than any other film. We live in a world where Bill Nye the Science Guy's debate with a creationist goes viral. And we live in a world where Neil deGrasse Tyson is one of the most popular American scientist. He has his own meme. He has been feature in DC comics in a Superman comic (pictured above). And so, Neil deGrasse Tyson gets to host his own Cosmos series every Sunday night on ten different Fox networks including National Geographic.

I've already watched the series premier and, despite some controversy and criticism, it is a beautiful piece of television, both thought-provoking and soul-stirring. Tyson's soliloquizing against the brilliantly rendered imagery is a perfect combination. I recommend this sort of programming to anyone and everyone.

Many people are afraid to think about the immense reality the cosmos because it makes them feel small. But I don't concern myself with feeling small. I feel like, rather than being part of something small, rather than being part of something finite, and rather than there being a clear end of the discoveries to discover in sight, that we are all part of something infinite. And that may be intimidating, but it is also compelling.

So, join Neil deGrasse Tyson on the infinite journey of human discovery and keep moving toward the horizon. There is no end to the journey, but there are many discoveries. Life doesn't "end". It "ands".

Watch the first episode of Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey HERE.

WORD OF THE DAY! 3/7/14!

YOUR MOVIE SUCKS: AFTER EARTH PT. 1

YOUR MOVIE SUCKS: AFTER EARTH PT. 2

YOUR MOVIE SUCKS: AFTER EARTH PT. 3

ghosting [gohst-ing]
noun
1. After Earth. The technique created by General Cypher Raige (seriously, with a cheesy sci-fi name like that was this written by a hackneyed version of Hideo Kojima) and adopted by the elite United Ranger Corps, commanded by Raige,  in order to suppress fear. The technique is used by Rangers to become invisible to the dangerous creatures they call the Ursa (seriously, they could look something like bears?) created by aliens (who are absent from the film) in order to hunt down and kill humans by smelling their fear through their pheromones (apparently, these aliens must be related to the aliens from Signs. Oh wait! M. Night Shyamalan directed this too, except it wasn't advertised because his name has become an indicator for trite, dumb, and poorly-produced story-telling).

Answer: That his father is obsessed with making him into an entertainment franchise despite his apparent lack enthusiasm, willingness, or likeability to participate.

SCI-FI FANTASY FRIDAY! WORD OF THE DAY! FT. LORD BRITISH AND SPOONY!

Ultima [ul-tuh-muh]
noun
1. Video game. A series of open-world sci-fi fantasy role-playing games made by its creator Richard Garriott AKA Lord British (pictured above) & Origin Systems, Inc. Several of the games of the series are considered classics & exemplars of the genre.

EX. I'd heard of Ultima a long time ago. I think all long-time gamers are, at least, vaguely aware of the series. It was a seminal part of the history of PC gaming, with several games being heralded for their story-telling and Ultima Online (1997) being the first MMO to reach 100, 000 subscribers, but the game series has not had much exposure to the average gamer in the last decade.

Ultima's creator, Richard Garriott (also known for Tabula Rasa), is one of the most interesting characters in the gaming industry. Not only did he make a name for himself with his video game series, he is also a pioneer in space tourism. In fact, after funding a trip to space for himself in 2008, he became the second person, and first American, to be a second-generation space traveler because his father was an astronaut. Lately, Garriott has been working to get publicity for his newest game,and spiritual successor to Ultima, Shroud of the Avatar: Forsaken Virtues.

And, in a move that probably made Spoony's dreams come true, he sat down with Spoony for a very special interview and they made some promotional content together. Spoony has always been a big fan and critic of the Ultima Series; check out his incredible Ultima reviews on his website or Spoony VS. The Balrog, and, apparently, Garriot is a fan of the internet's Avatar.

The videos are most intriguing because of their discussions on story-telling in the games, but are even more special than that; can you imagine getting to meet one of your childhood heroes and him asking you for input on how to better do his job?

I can't. But Spoony got to live that dream and more. Check it out.

BRITANNIA BURNS!: RICHARD GARRIOTT INTERVIEW! PT. 1

BRITANNIA BURNS!: RICHARD GARRIOTT INTERVIEW! PT. 2

BRITANNIA BURNS!: RICHARD GARRIOTT INTERVIEW! PT. 3

RICHARD GARRIOTT'S ART GALLERY & ASS-UGLY AKALABETH PICTURES!

BONUS: O BRITISH, WHERE ART THOU? (THE AVATAR VS. LORD BRITISH!)

WORD OF THE DAY! 8/8/13! THE 12TH DOCTOR?!

dozenth/12th [duh-zenth]
adjective
1. After the eleventh; the ordinal designation for twelve; the twelfth.
2. Being one of twelve equal parts.
noun
3. A 12th part of something, especially 1/12th.
4. The 12th member or object in a series.

EX. Lo and behold! On Sunday, the identity of the newest and dozenth actor to play Doctor Who's titular character was revealed to be Peter Capaldi. Watch the video linked below and tell me what you think:

MEET THE 12TH DOCTOR: PETER CAPALDI 

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY 2013!

DARTH VADER & SON

VADER'S LITTLE PRINCESS

WORD OF THE DAY! 3/6/13!

disintegrate [dis-in-tuh-greyt]
verb
1. To separate into particles or lose solidness; to destroy or break up the cohesion.

EX. I always thought it was strange how the idea from Back to the Future (a fantastic film) that causing time distortions that would keep you from being created would result in a gradual disintegration, fading into nothingness if you don't amend the mistake quickly, rather than being an instantaneous annihilation.

Furthermore, unless the universe has a way to protect itself against time travel through basically preventing it or fixing itself up into a new parallel universe, and even the latter situation has many flaws, I think that time travel being used to change the past would almost instantly result in a universe destroying paradox unless it somehow came together in a nifty convenient knot.

Basically, the biggest argument for time travel, at least to the past, having not been created in the future, is that we would've witnessed it or been destroyed by it. Happy thoughts.

WORD OF THE DAY! 2/9/13.

'Merica/'Murrica (etc.) [mur-ih-kuh]
noun
1. Slang. A red-neckification of "America" used as an expression of derision against stereotypical redneck patriotism or as a somewhat satirical support of an action related to the stereotypes of the gun-toting, super-size fast-food eating, and ignorant etc. red-neck American.

EX. Guess them aliens shouldn had done tried tuh invade 'Merica! Ain't they never saw Red Dawn?

But seriously, aliens. I think that no country has had more filmed/televised success stories in fighting alien menaces. How about you start with France or Papa New Guinea and work your way up to countries that other countries seeing as being filled with gun-loving nutjobs who will shoot solicitors and alien invaders alike.

You do not want the "Welcome ta Earf!" treatment, do you?

WORD OF THE DAY! 1/27/13.

hutt [hut]
noun
1. Star Wars. A species of large gastropods with stubby little arms, a wide toad-like face with bulging eyes, and a broad body ending in a muscular tail. These greed and power-driven slug crime-lords ruled a large section of the Galaxy, known as Hutt Space, for millennia thanks to their physical strength and cunning minds.

EX. A lot of people have mixed feelings about Return of the Jedi (I don't. It was my favorite film when I was about 5), but I think most people love the puppet wonder that was Jabba the Hutt. This character was first hinted at back in A New Hope, then he was responsible for Han Solo's kidnapping and freezing in Empire Strikes Back, and so by the third film, this character is looming in the background-- and he is basically a giant slug dragon! Holy crap!

He is probably the coolest special effect, besides perhaps the rancor, in the film and we never see him move in a scene besides laughing, pulling on a slavegirl's chain, or putting some poor creature in his cavernous maw! His voice, his mannerisms, and his actions in this decadent, dirty, criminal atmosphere make the character for you. I think the secret is Jaba the Hutt's laugh.

Jabba's Laugh

WORD OF THE DAY! 1/23/13.

replicant [rep-luh-kent]
noun
1. Science Fiction (Blade Runner, 1982). A bio-engineered or bio-robotic being created in the universe of Ridley Scott's film, Blade Runner. These artificial life forms, often derogatorily called "skin jobs", were created to perform slave labor and tasks deemed too dangerous for biological humans, but complex enough for a humanoid to be a necessary tool in the completion of said tasks. They are virtually identical to a human being, but have super strength, agility, and variable intelligence (depending on the model) with a shelf-life or life-span of approximately four years.

They became illegal, on Earth, after a bloody mutiny on off-world site, and are hunted down as dangerous machines to be put down, also known as "retired", by individuals known as "Blade Runners". The most often used method to identify a replicant is a test to expose their emotional responses and empathy, which are limited by design.

EX. An Example of a Voight-Kampff Test Being Performed on a Suspected Replicant

WEEKLY ROUND-UP! 10/8-10/14/12.

WEEKLY ROUND-UP PRESENTS

TEEN DOG IS TOO COOL WEEK

7. WORD OF THE DAY! 10/12/12. Fatherly.

Last week was really stressful, between lots of reading for classes (still got about 500 pages to read before Friday) and grad school application stuff.

6. WORD OF THE DAY! 10/9/12. Degradation.

I love me some Volt Tackle, but we all know that Ash is dead now.

5. WORD OF THE DAY! 10/7/12. Luchadore.

I always thought it would be cool to see a version of Star Wars where each scene was filtered through different cultures and mythologies.

4. WORD OF THE DAY! 10/10/12. & WTF WED. WRECK IT RALPH!

Its been a while since I told you guys what retro games I've been playing-- I'm still trying to beat Yoshi's Island, but should be able to beat it this week.

3. MUSICAL MONDAY! DARTH VADER THE MUSICAL!

The real theme of the week was probably Darth Vader...

2. WORD OF THE DAY! 10/14/12. Snapshot.

Every now and then, I gotta sit back and appreciate my favorite video game franchise; Pokemon. From Pokemon Blue to Pokemon Pinball to Pokemon Snap to Pokemon Stadium and so on and so forth, the Pocket Monster franchise has stood the test of time for over 15 years. It is the pillar that my blog leans on and will continue to evolve into the future.

1. TABLETOP TALES! NARUTO RPG! Sir Taihouji of the House of the Golden Dragon!

 The winning article, and probably best Tabletop Tales I've written in a good while, was my breakdown of my Naruto Pen & Paper RPG character's amazing background story. For some fun tidbits, he had the following nicknames: "Captain One-Liner", "Little Leonidas", "Leonidas Jr.", and much more. I kinda wanna call him "Charlemagne Brown".

TIME COWBOY TUMBLR

WORD OF THE DAY! 9/29/12.

SOURCE FOR IMG 1

mass effect [mas-ih-fekt]
noun
1. Mass Effect video game series. The effects of a field created through the manipulation of element zero, via an electric current via dark energy, to increase the mass of space-time. A positive charge increases mass and a negative charge decreases mass. The strength of the current affects the magnitude of the dark energy mass effect, i.e. the greater the current the greater the dark energy mass effect. This energy also creates a static charge of electricity that, unless dispersed, and cause massive damage to the producer of the energy. The energy is used in all fields of science, from the creation of new elements and materials to the evolution of high speed travel, and those with biotic talents can sense and manipulate these fields with varying effects.

EX. Let me start by getting this out of the way, I haven't played Mass Effect 3 yet but, even supposing the end of the trilogy was ruined at the last minute, that doesn't change a simple fact; Mass Effect is one of the most potentially lucrative and interesting video game franchises of this generation and easily the best science fiction series and role playing game series of this generation.

SOURCE OF IMG 2-4

Few games, if any since I can't think of any, could compare the perfect mix of role-playing, action game play, and cinematic story-telling that makes Mass Effect fascinating. Partially, this achieved through the technical heights that the series reached, improving between each game and pushing this generation's console hardware to the limits, to give us something that is, in my opinion, visually and audibly unchallengeable. The experience is enhanced by the voice over of all dialogue, with a variety of voices and characters, that give the Milky Way and its enemies depth. The game elements are engaging, rarely tedious, and increasingly functional to build a paramount gaming experience.

Now, while the technical elements allow for the proper tools to tell the story of Mass Effect, what is even more important is the skillful story-telling they do with those tools. The game mixes the best themes and elements of science fiction, from the intellectual altruism and character drama of Star Trek to the epic fantasy and kinetic action of Star Wars. They built a galaxy filled with incredible alien races, amazing locations, and threats, ancient and new alike, for you to overcome. The greatest genius of the story-telling is your unique version of Commander Shepard and his/her relationship with the party of comrades you earn through your adventures. They each fulfill different archetypes, with different agendas and story to unfold, and they really grow on you.

 The genius of Mass Effect is all of these elements coming together in a way that appeals to casual player and hardcore critic alike; the series isn't just another sci-fi shooter, but a step in the right direction toward making video games an important genre in fiction. If the first and second Mass Effects could make me care so much about Garus, Wrex, and Tali, as much as I've ever cared about Spock, Han Solo, and Hermione Granger, I can easily imagine the next generation of media set in the Mass Effect universe to become the next great frontier of interactive media.