Friday, October 30, 2015

Unbox-King #30 Nov 2015 Loot Crate: TIME!

I'm sorry to say that my TIME as a Loot Crate subscriber has come to an end with this crate and I am left with some great figures and collectibles, some nice t-shirts, and a lot of junk. I'm also left with the feeling that I am saying good bye to a service that, while I've decided to invest the fees into other parts of my budget, was a pretty fun ride. If you're interested in Loot Crate, check it out but just be warned that 1/3 of the Crates are going to be subpar, 1/3 will have one or two decent items, and 1/3 will be pretty spot on. So keep that in mind and, to all you Looters out there, happy collecting.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015


Hideo Kojima, creator and creative mind behind the Metal Gear Solid franchise, might be the best or closest example of an auteur in the medium called "video games".

What is an "auteur"?

An auteur, literally French for "author", is the term traditionally applied to a filmmaker whose creative vision, personal ideals, and artistic control over a film are so great that they are regarded as the author of the work. This term is taken further in discussions of the medium so that, while often there are many hands and minds behind any given film project or projects, this auteur is credited as the true author of the works.

For example, Alfred Hitchcock's style permeates his films to the point where his creative vision is at the forefront and the films he worked on are regarded as "Hitchcock films".

In discussion of film, the term auteur is usually not awarded by critics to just any prolific director; they are afforded to directors with a catalog of film's sharing distinctive traits, from the dreamscapes of Akira Kurosawa to quirky storybook worlds of Wes Anderson, the works of an auteur make up their own world or idealogy. In short, they are a reflection of their creator's vision.

While some independent games are the sole work of a single creative, or a few, AAA titles like Bungie's Destiny or whatever Assassin's Creed game just came out, are the works of dozens of artists, writers, animators, programmers, testers, etc. to the point where Credit sequences in these games take on the lengths of short films. And yet, while the Metal Gear Solid series is the work of so many individuals, no one, besides perhaps Konami, would try to argue that the series wasn't Hideo Kojima's.

The series builds a dramatic world constructed from James Bond action fodder, giant robot anime, Italian spaghetti westerns, military vehicle model construction, geopolitical history, conspiracy theories, etc. that are all reflections of the things Kojima finds cool and come together into some simultaneously beautiful, gruesome, overwrought, genuine, fashionable and dorky creation that is uniquely "metal gear".

The conceits of the series can be rather striking in their contradiction, such as the inclusion of Metal Gear Solid: Rising Revengeance, a game that stands out from the other series by following a protagonist who seems to revel in dicing his enemies into tiny bits with a giant samurai sword, while also having a disturbing subplot about saving child soldiers from being coopted into cyborg killing machines. In a game where a ridiculously hard to miss cyborg samurai wears a sombrero and a poncho as a disguise, we're shortly thereafter greeted with a horrific collection of floating orphan brains in jars, still conscious as their eyes follow you across the room, and meant to illicit legitimate feelings of horror. I realize some might complain about the inclusion of Rising Revengeance in my little rant here but it illustrates, perhaps better than anything, what is "metal gear" and what is "Kojima-esque".

It revels in the ridiculous and yet, somehow, comes out the other side as something that is genuinely thought provoking and cool. Metal Gear is unique and it is depressing to think MGSV may be the last chapter.

Uh, well, I just gave you guys like a quick sloppy essay to try and explain my feelings about Metal Gear. So um, here is this and:

Go watch Rick and Morty.

That is all.

Saturday, October 24, 2015


It took some doing but I am finally back in the mud with the console peasants (and yes I have a Wii-U but we both know Nintendo isn't trying to compete with the other two big consoles and they haven't found it to be a threat either...until NDX rears its head next year). And, I gotta say, while the console is gorgeous, it is exactly what I expected:

A more powerful 360. I'll admit that part of my hesitation, to buy either the ONE or the PS4, has been that this generation feels like such a small step forward that I wasn't dazzled by any of the new social features or gizmos. More so than ever, this generation feels like it is holding back technology and falling way behind the PC curve set into motion by services like Steam that give PC gaming a lot of affordable custom options. In fact, the first game I booted up, Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes, was notably less impressive on my new console as my three year old Dell. This generation of games has been scaled back, again, from maintaining a standard of 60 fps and it shows. And I'm not even the sort of guy to pick apart the graphical nitpicks. It was noticeable different when I booted up the Menu Screen.

BUT, and this is a big but, I didn't buy an Xbone to replace my PC. I bought a Xbone to share multiplayer experiences with my friends who have an Xbone but lack a dedicated gaming PC. And I am still excited to be able to play Halo 5, Battlefront, and Black Ops 3 this Holiday season. Even if it cost me an arm and a leg, friendship is worth it.

P.S. It really is a pretty console.

Friday, October 23, 2015


The most disturbing part of this commercial isn't the giant eye balls on the mascot, it isn't that he chases them, it isn't just the general gross nature of 90's style CGI, it isn't the mystery of sun-themed orange drinks or even the just overall meh-ness of 90's fashion.

It's that Sprite filmed this tragedy and put it on TV.

This may be the funniest bit of Game Grumps in a long time or I just really, really, really love Star Wars-related humor & silly voices.


[insert League of Legends in-jokes here]

Monday, October 19, 2015


Ezreal is one of the most iconic League of Legends characters: his combination of abilities and style make him a rather fun take on the magic rogue archetype and his flexible nature means he has seen a fair bit of play at all levels of skill. That and he has a fantastic generic anime hero voice. So I like that.

Next up is the latest official Starbomb music video and it is a sequel to the BEST Zeld Rap EVER!!

And this seems like a good time to discuss an exciting game rumor: the newest Zelda game teased for the Wii-U has most likely been delayed to be a release title for the next Nintendo console (to be announced at next year's E3) and that has led to many wondering if maybe, just maybe, another Zelda game is due to get an HD remake. Specifically, Twilight Princess. And, while TLoZTP is apparently not regarded as a favorite title in the series, I'm gonna blow some mind and admit that I still haven't beaten Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask or even Wind Waker. But I have played and beaten Twilight Princess three times on Wii. It is my favorite 3D Zelda and, honestly, I could dive into all the reasons but I should probably save the full write-up for later, but here a summary of my feels:

Twilight Princess is the best controlled 3D Zelda game with interesting characters, dark mysteries to solve, and a lot of cool mechanics/puzzles that make it my favorite game in the series to go back and play (besides Link to the Past). And my favorite Zelda character, after Groose, is Midna.


Tuesday, October 13, 2015

WORD OF THE DAY! 10/13/15!

chibi [chee-bee]
1. Japanese slang. A short or small person or animal. It has gained popularity as slang for something small in stature in anime or manga.
2. Japanese slang. Of or related to something small and/or cute in stature/design in anime and manga.

EX. This is ain't no chibi sized amiibo update! In fact, it is quite bulky in the numbers department: with a three pack of Retro Amiibos and a whole cast of other whacky Nintendo characters that means, as of this video, I am only missing one released Smash Bros. amiibo.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015


Most people I know who are into motorcycles are middle-aged men. Any of my reader's like to ride the ol' crotch rocket? Do you do it to look cool? Or because you love the taste of bugs in your teeth? Just curious.

Game Grumps's Mario Maker series is one of the more entertaining series they've produced and exposes Ross O'Donovan as the monster we all knew tried to ride into our homes on Steam Train-- and honestly, just maybe, if he owned his sadistic side, I'd change my mind on him being one of the weaker elements in post-Jon grumps.

Dan is a boss. Ross is a wanker.

Francis gets angry at things. The cycle of rage never ends. It just evolves.

Monday, October 5, 2015


Another cover from Sapphire? Spoiled you are.

On the subject of anime, I need to get back to watching "PUNCHLINE!" and need to pick out a couple of new series to invest my time. Any suggestions? What's hot? What's not? What's snot?

Enjoy these moments. They are far and few. We are all Pizza Rat.

It starts out a little slow, but the pay-off is pretty good. So like the last season of Game of Thrones! OH SNAP!

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

WORD OF THE DAY! 9/29/15! (LOOT CRATE SEP. 2015)

summon [sum-uhn]
1. To call upon or command an individual's presence or a gathering of individuals.

EX. Can I summon the enthusiasm to continue my Loot Crate subscription? It remains to be seen as I only have one more crate before current subscription expires!

Monday, September 28, 2015


Senpai Club is my current favorite send-up of anime and the latest episode, which is meant to emulate 80's style animes of the same girl anime genre, is a hilarious homage to the style, pacing, and quality of that era.

Oddly enough? I like the character designs of the senpais more in the 80's version because I find their eyes far less disturbing. But they are always creepy.

Summary: Dolphins are magic. Magic is evil. Evil is dolphins.

Is it WTF Wednesday yet?  LIZA!!!

Friday, September 25, 2015


I love Mega Man. I love fan games. I love- OH DEAR GODS!! KILL IT WITH A FLAMING STICK!!

I, uh, I guess that Megaman Sprite Game is a fanmade rpg set in the Megaman-verse, where everybody has the same stupid face and nothing really matters and I uh I kinda want to play it after I finish these other games. I'm not stalling!

British Prime Minister David Cameron allegedly put his pee-pee in a dead pig's mouth in a room full of cheering onlookers. If he wanted to be fellated by a dead pig, why not just call up my Mother-in-Law. And now here's Conway Twitty.

Speaking of DYIKS, here is ProJared's hilarious Top Ten Countdown parody video. It involves a lot of hot DYIKS. Video game DYIKS are the best.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

WORD OF THE DAY! 9/24/15!

dominant strategy [dom-uh-nunt-strat-uh-jee]
1. When one player's course of action in a game is better than any other course of action, no matter how their opponent's may play or the challenges that the game puts before them.

EX. I'd like to think Rich is eventually gonna run up against a Pokemon that easily can withstand against his Charmeleon's Mega Punch, as the move is relatively strong at low levels but completely mediocre past a certain point, but something tells me that over-leveling a single Pokemon and knocking the crap out of everything in your path is the dominant strategy in the first series of Pokemon games.

Heck, Pokemon has always been easy. It's a game you play while you watch TV or take a poop (we've all done it). You have to add Nuzlocke Challenge restrictions to yourself to make it anything but a cakewalk, especially not that they added EXP Share that makes leveling your entire team a breeze. What do you guys think? Should they add a supported Nuzlocke Challenge mode? Or maybe just a harder difficulty for veterans?

Monday, September 21, 2015


I like the idea of the characters in League of Legends having a variety of simple and complex relationships that come out as subtle interactions in the game, but it could go so much further to immerse players in the story side of Summoner's Rift and the world of Runeterra:

  • The easiest and most obvious addition would be to patch in more audio interacctions between characters. EX. Garen & Katarina could flirt (with deadly intent) when near each other and could have unique taunts when the other dies. "I love to watch you spin."
  • Costumes and other optional stuff to pair them up visually. EX. If Garen gets a skin that depicts him as a super hero, give Katarina a matching super heroine or, even better, supper villainess skin.
  • We need more flavor pieces to read and more videos to watch to get us into the currently disjointed story. EX. Instead of just having Gangplank not be dead, try to give us a little less narrative dissonance.
What do you guys think?

I both love and hate Mario Maker. I love building stages and playing creative stages. On the flipside, I hate not having as much control as I would like when building stages and playing lazy or broken-difficult levels. Have you played any cool levels this week?

Zelda has some of the best video game music.

That is all.

Wanna fight me on it?

Friday, September 18, 2015


Journal Entry #345

The harvest is meager, but it is to collect it before the chill of winter nibbles at my nose. Meager or no, winter is coming.

"Better late than never!" My father always said. Oh, Father. Why did you leave me here in the sewer? Have you forgotten me? The rats. They vex me so. And the oil you left behind to fuel my lamp is running low... The darkness invites the rats and other terrors. I am searching for higher ground. I am leaving the compost heap tonight and exploring the tunnels under the zoo.

Perhaps I will have more luck finding fuel for my lantern. I fear the darkness. I fear the terrors.

Journal Entry #401

I lost my boots today. My feet feel naked without the plastic foam between the cold wet damp and the several layers of stockings I found in a cellar. I don't think of it as stealing. It is either to sin or to lose my toes. The rats nibble incessantly and I had managed to catch a few to supplement my corn diet with their rankled flesh. But I had to burn them in a fire in the drained mote around the lion exhibit.

Their blood is black. I do not think the rats are well either. Darkness consumes all. I spend my days crawling between exhibits, searching for anything I can to fuel the lantern, and I have to use the radio I saved for emergencies to block out the voices. They come in the darkness. I must move again tonight.

Tonight the moon will be full enough.

Journal Entry #430

I found it. I found the Vault. But it is locked. I talked to the security robot through a small camera but it never replied. The glass eye of the lens stared right through me and the door won't budge. I wonder if Father is hiding in the Vault. I wonder if he thinks me dead. I don't want to go back to the zoo.

Father. I won't give up.

Thursday, September 17, 2015


I promised a video for today and, like my mailman, I deliver the goods with a merch breakdown from my Star Wars Sep. 4 haul and an amiibo update that I think you guys'll appreciate!

Monday, September 14, 2015


Have you heard about Pokemon Go? I should do an article about that this week, yeah? I mean, you can google it, if you can't wait. I don't mind. But this blog is about news, opinion and entertainment, so you'll miss out on the latter. Anywho...

As I will say every time I share music from the Pokemon games, the soundtrack for the series is one of the least appreciated video game soundtracks. Junichi Masuda, who was the composer for the first few games, also created the "cries" of the original 150 Pokemon. Masuda was also the direct of Ruby and Sapphire and now serves on Game Freak's board of directors and has served as a composer, director and/or producer for every Pokemon game. Cool, right?

I have never read a Hemingway book, but I have been told we share a manly likeness. I feel like he is missing a cigar and a glass of scotch in this photo.

I love Teen Titans. I especially love CN's Teen Titans the Animated Series.

Something about the idea of a teenage super hero team, something about the art style, something about the comedy, something about the voice acting and definitely something about the writing of this often zany and often epic animated show really stuck with me. It got canned when it was at the peak of its game and deserved better.

I dunno about Teen Titans Go. It is kind of hard to spin-off a zany looney tunes show from a show that involved demonic apocalypses, implied underage abusive and sexual relationship between a villain and hero, and the doom patrol (seriously, the doom patrol is dark). Then again, anime does it too...

Friday, September 11, 2015


Today was a great day for Amiibo collecting! I thought it would be scary, I thought I would be having to shop online, and I thought I was gonna miss out on many amiibos-- I was wrong! I only had to go to Target and Toys R Us and I got all of the Wave 5B amiibos I wanted. I also picked up Mario Maker. I want the rest of the Smash Bros. amiibo, Shovel Knight and Tom Nook. Which amiibos do you want to see/collect?