Saturday, December 3, 2011

WORD OF THE DAY! 12/3/11

meh [meh]
1. an expression of boredom or apathy.
2. unimpressive; boring
3. bored or apathetic.

EX. "Shouldn't we come up with a better example?" My left brain asked. "Meh," my right brain answered.

Friday, December 2, 2011

WORD OF THE DAY! 12/2/11

nosferatu [nohz-feh-rah-too]
1. a hideously ugly vampire.

EX. "More decidedly evil is the nosferatu, or vampire, in which every Romanian  peasants believes as firmly as he does Heaven or Hell."-Emily Gerard, The Land Beyond the Forest

Thursday, December 1, 2011

WORD OF THE DAY! 12/1/11

brawny [braw-nee]
1. muscular; strong; beefy.

EX. The brawny Meat Boy is on a quest to save Bandage Girl from the evil Dr. Fetus.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011



Japan, as I've said, is not the dominant owner of WTF-ery. In this short film from Belgium, written and directed by Jeroen Houben, Tim Arts, Stefan van den Boogaard, we see the terrifying, creepy, and sterile world one would find in the pages of an IKEA furniture magazine. From the clean pressed clothes to the uncluttered furniture/objects, they create the artificial diorama world that these models live in. It is short and to the point; check it out.

WORD OF THE DAY! 11/30/11

espirit de corps [e-spree-de-kawr]
1. a sense of unity and common interests and/or responsibilities, as developed by a group of persons closely associated in a task, cause or enterprise.

EX. The Dohvakiin and the Hero of Time quickly found an espirit de corps to help stop the spread of Alduin's terror across the Kingdom of Skyrule! Also, in the fact that they never talk except to shout in combat. HYAAAH! FUS DO RAH!



MIXED BAG. Origin of Jared and Mr. Fish

Tuesday, November 29, 2011



I love Dungeons and Dragons. I have been playing, more or less, once a week for over two years and I don't ever plan to stop playing. Most of the times I've played Dungeons and Dragons, I have been the Dungeon Master. For those who don't know, a Dungeon Master is the guy who is in charge of telling the story, determining what monsters and characters the other players come across and, in essence, is the god of the world the players explore. As an author, it gives me a chance to flex my creative muscles.

 Yet, while Dungeons and Dragons can breed a lot of original ideas, it doesn't hurt to fall back on familiar ideas, tropes and characters inspired by works of fantasy. This adventure in particular that I'm about to talk about borrows elements from Nickelodeon's Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Wizard of OZ.

A couple of summers ago, way back in 2010, I had one of the most awesome Dungeons and Dragons campaigns of my career. The hijinks and what-not of that campaign still live on til this day.
I don't remember the names of the characters in this campaign so we'll have to just make do with naming them after the people who played them. First, the leader of the group, Justin, a gnome artificer (basically, an engineer with magic), with a rather serious disposition. Then, there was the very feline personality of Dulin the shifter druid (basically, he was a witch with cat like features). And last but not least, there was Chris, a halfling rogue, a clumsy but very lucky character who always found himself in trouble. The three companions were looking for work when they found a flier posted on a bulletin board at the local mercenaries guild asking for heroes for an important quest. The flier led them to a little bookstore.
The inside of the bookstore was bigger on the inside and crowded with piles upon piles of books. Each of the characters had a different reaction; Justin's eyes were drawn to the spines of books of forgotten lore, Dulin was trying to find the store owner, and Chris was trying to find something worth stealing. That's when they were interrupted by a high-pitched cough, and peaking out at them from behind a desk was an ancient gnome. He introduced himself as the owner of the store, Lod, and after he saw the flier he explained what he needed of the heroes. He had moved to the desert city of Kiero after years of searching the desert for the Lost Library, a library filled with every book ever written and ever scroll ever scribed. He grew too old for the quest, and has all the books he could ever read, but has finally found a map on the back of an old drawing of the library.
He whistled, and his adopted son, an eight-foot tall goliath named Del, brings the map. Lod begged for them to go to the library and find him a precious artifact; a Key of Talor. He needed the Key to be able to read a collection of books from another dimension that he had collected over his life. After our heroes saw how much it meant to the old man, and smelling the potential treasure at this lost library, they agreed to find him the Key. Thus our heroes began their quest. After a couple of weeks wandering through the desert, they found the spot on the map. Except, something was wrong.
The entire library was buried under the sand except for a single tower spire (unlike the picture above, it had no entrance). At first the heroes were forlorn but Justin discovered a strange inscription on the side written in Draconic, simply "Add Water". He poured his canteen onto the writing and the tower began to tremble. Before their very eyes, a door opened on the tower, and they scaled the inside of the tower down , down into the dark. At the bottom, they lit a torch and were confronted by, standing in the center of the infinite library, the formidable shape of a dragon
The golden dragon explained that he was the Keeper of the Lost Library, Durel the Amber Dragon. Durel also explained that he was not merely the Keeper of the Lost Library but a New God, immortal and all-knowing, his dominion was over history, knowledge, and treasures. He welcomed then and asked that they each offer something to the library. Justin offered him one of his books, Dulin offered him a song, and Chris offered him a special lockpick. Satisfied with these offerings, Durel awarded them with magical items and made them his disciples. Upon hearing about Lod, he not only offered them a Key of Talor (which he had an ever-filled chest of) but also a flying carpet to give them a ride back to the old gnome. Grateful for his generosity, they took the carpet ride home and told the gnome about Durel. Hearing of the incredible dragon and the Lost Library he took the flying carpet back to the Libary, leaving Del the bookstore, and giving our heroes a gracious goodbye.

It was then that Del, the goliath, offered them the opportunity to see Lod's old collection of extra-dimensional books. With a massive heave, he lifted a book the side of a door onto the desk, and put the key into a slot on the cover. The book was covered in glittering scales of red rubies and written in green emeralds was the title, "The Lizard of LOLZ." Del warned them to be careful, but Chris reached forward and opened the cover. He was sucked into the book with a flash of green light.


WORD OF THE DAY! 11/29/11

chronology [kruh-nol-uh-jee]
1. the sequential order in which past events occur.
2. a statement of sequential order.
3. the science of arranging time in periods and ascertaining the dates and historical order of past events.
4. a reference work ordered in accordance to dates.

EX. Few video game mysteries are more elusive than the order that Nintendo's Legend of Zelda games take place in time. There are several chronological theories, including a split-time theory starting with Ocarina of Time, but Shigeru Miyamoto, the series creator, has been rather mum about the exact timeline. Some people accept that there is no cohesive timeline but we can only hope that future Nintendologists can discover the true chronology.

Monday, November 28, 2011



Walt Disney Productions became the first American studio to produce a full-length animated feature film in 1967, with the classic Snow White and The Seven Dwarves, and made its mark in the annals of film history by redefining and immortalizing Western fairy tales for another generation. Despite stumbling through the 70's and 80's with relatively under-performing and lackluster fair, they regained their composure and became bigger than ever in the 90's.

I had the privilege of growing up right alongside the golden age of Disney Animation that has become known as the "Disney Renaissance"; a period of fantastic films made by Disney beginning with the Little Mermaid (1989) and fizzling out by the end of the decade with mediocre films like Tarzan (1999). It is unfortunate that Walt Disney didn't live to see this "Wonderful World of Disney" that we all grew up in.

Today's subject is probably my favorite Disney animated film, (Aladdin was my favorite as a kid), and is rightfully considered to be one of the greatest animated films of all time. If The Little Mermaid started the wave of the Renaissance then Disney's Beauty and the Beast (1991) built a castle of sand and glass that would stand as a role-model to all Renaissance films to follow. The film is a perfect Disney film; beautifully animated, with Computer Graphics used sparingly- keeping the effects from making the film look dated, well-written, expertly performed and filled with some of the best songs in the Disney library. Most Disney films have at least one song that is grating or inferior BUT Beauty and the Beast avoided overstaying its welcome with any such song ,you can find the would-be unnecessary song in Deleted Scenes and its not great but its okay, and each of them feels perfectly placed.This, in my opinion, is the perfect Disney musical.

One of the things that sets Beauty and the Beast apart is the villain, Gaston. He is the most handsome, manly, would-be-heroic hunter in the little French village our heroine lives by, oh and he is also a cruel, scheming, chauvinistic beast (lol, puns). He wants Belle, not because he likes her, but because she is "the most beautiful girl in town" but even more so, because she protests his aggressive advances. His first of two big songs is one of my favorites, simply titled "Gaston".

After Belle refuses his marriage proposal and boots him out of her house, after a rather predatory scene, he lumbers back into the safety of the local tavern to lick his wounds and drown his sorrow in beer. He is remiss to how Belle could possibly pass up his offer; after all, in Gaston's mind, he is perfect! Seriously, check out that Bruce Campbell chin!

Seeing their town hero looking so depressed and glum is bumming everyone out, especially his best pal and minion Lefoo. The affably goofy goblin takes it upon himself to start a song comparing Gaston, who is seen as the "pure paragon" of virtue, to every other man. The song is a celebration of everything that is manly- in short, it is really a light and frothy mockery of everything perceived to be "manly".

Except the "manliest man" is also incapable of dealing with rejection, humiliation, morbidly vascular, greasy, intimidating, violent, dishonorable, bitey, rude, crude, burly, brawny, hairy, and probably filled with salmonella (dude eats three dozen eggs every morning! 0.0). On its surface, they're celebrating everything that is embarrassing about the chauvinist mindset and modern ideal of physical perfection. They associate "manliness" and "greatness" with these attributes that just points out what kind of villain he is; Gaston is the perfect punching bag for feminists because he is the purest example role-model for the abusive, controlling, and cruel man.

Yet, in the reprise of our song, and in his other big number, "The Mob Song", we see his animal cunning in action. In the latter, we see his ability to motivate the village to do just about anything through fear and intimidation. In the Reprise of "Gaston", he plans to get Belle by blackmailing her with Maurice's freedom from an insane asylum. Gaston would be practically harmless if it wasn't for his hunter attitude. In the end, he is a great villain and this a great villain song.

As always, I hope I live to see a second Disney Renaissance.

WEEKLY ROUND-UP! 11/21-11/27 2011


Can you name a more protective guardian than a Big Daddy? I don't think so. Touch their kids and you end up on the end of a drill or riveted to the wall, mother f***er!

I love Tetris. That is all. Thank you.

"No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's
For there's no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on." 

I think if you woke up and saw this at the end of your bed, you would only have one option: pull your blankets up over your head and pray that Hellboy is about to burst out of your closet and curb stomp it into the ground!

This one is dedicated to my Dad, because he told me he thought it was funny or something.

I know that this Episode still needs to be wrapped up and trust me, I'll get to it. As soon as the semester ends, I can really start crack'a'lackin' on these Episodes. This story is really building up steam and I hope you guys check it out. It's challenging but I really enjoy writing this story and hope you guys like the introduction of the first female character, Yuki!

I love Call of Duty BUT there are plenty of things that grind my gears in the most successful FPS series of all time.

WORD OF THE DAY! 11/28/11

transmute [trans-myoot]
1. to change from one substance, nature, form or condition into another; transformation.

EX. No one enjoys the transmutations of a warlock.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

WORD OF THE DAY! 11/27/11

narcissist [nahr-suh-sist]
1. a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish.
2. Psychoananalysis. a person who derives erotic gratification from his observing his own physical or mental attributes.

EX. No one's a narcissist like Gaston, no one as fists like Gaston, etc.