Saturday, October 8, 2011

MIXED BAG. Chibi Doctors 1st to 11th


Fantasy Friday

I play Dungeons and Dragons every Friday. That is to say I run a 4th Edition Dungeons & Dragons campaign every Friday set in the country of Beniro. As such I've decided to chronicle the hero's adventures from the perspective of different characters my friends play. Each week and each short chapter I will rotate the perspective so you can get a feel for all the characters. I will try my best to capture my friend's characters and the adventures they go on. I might change some elements but know I do it for the story.

A lot of the art I will be using is not credited, so if you know the artist, tell me and I'll label it appropriately.
CHAPTER 1- Lorafaine 
CHAPTER 2- Aramil
CHAPTER 3 - Ryjac
CHAPTER 4- Lucius


At the crowing of the first rooster, Nadarr Thunderstone awoke and climbed out of his makeshift bed in the mule stables behind a small inn. He looked up at the darkness hanging overhead and a soft steam rose from his face as he breathed in the air of an early morning. He shook his body out, morning dew having settled on his warm scales overnight, the dreadlock-like extensions on his head rustling. With another breath, Nadarr sat on the stone floor beneath him, in not but a pair of green long johns, and he cleared his throat with a deep rumble. He took the chain from around his neck and held the ornament on the end of it to his forehead and then to his lips, before placing it on his lap. The ornament was a metal fist holding a lightning bolt. He closed his eyes and began to pray to Kord.

As he prayed, the dragonborn relived every vibration of the previous night’s storm. Most of the inhabitants of Doktham were unaware of it, tucked away under the ground, safely, protected from the tempest above as they slept. Yet, Nadarr had felt every lightning strike against the Shale Mountains, and had heard the thunder shake ever loose stone and coward from where it cowered in the dark. Every bolt of lightning is a lashing from Kord’s blade, and every roar of thunder is a roar of impatience from the Thunderlord, as he surveys all below him from his throne above the world, and finds himself disgusted with all but the most brave, the most strong and the most honorable. Kord decides who among the dead are most worthy; worthy of being in his army in the unending battle of the next world. Nadarr knew this, and so he prayed.

 Nadarr had known this since before he knew anything else, before he was even born. His father, Derrak, and his mother, Krina, were farmers, raising chickens and cattle, on a mountainside in Southern Mardunar, just across the border from their ancestral homeland, Arkhosia. The most important god to the dragonborn peoples of Arkhosia is Bahamut, the Platinum Dragon; the god who stands in opposition of evil, and protects the humble and weak. Yet, Mardunar was a land that shared a border with two enemy nations, and had no patience for the meek. Mardunar was a land of warriors. Most Mardunian dwarves and dragonborns worshipped Kord, above the other gods, and practiced their martial skill in all things. Even Derrak and Krina woke up every morning at dawn to pray to the Thunderlord and, after doing their farm work, spent their evenings practicing their swordplay in the same fields they had sown. In a land of warriors, battle is the greatest opportunity to impress their gods. 

Yet, Mardunar, and the entire Beniro kingdom, had not seen a full-scale war in centuries because the people had beaten back all worthy enemies into submission or death. The Mardunarians grew restless, but still trained even though, without the opportunity to prove their mettle in combat, they felt as if they were wasting their time. Derrak and Krina believed they were being punished by Kord for this time of peace. They had been married for decades and, despite their efforts, they had not a child and, because dragonborns live short lives, they feared they would have no one to carry on their legacy. They prayed every morning for Kord to bless them with a strong warrior to carry on their name.

Finally, after years of trying, Krina laid a clutch of dragonborn eggs. But at the same time, Derrak had visions of a disaster befalling their home and the eggs being destroyed. He believed Kord had stopped protecting them and, that any day soon, the path of a war band of savage gnolls or a giant would stumble into their farm’s land or an ancient red dragon would seek revenge and destroy their eggs. So, the couple trained harder than ever, in order to protect the eggs from any who would harm them. 

One day while out in the field’s training, a storm brewed overhead, and the elderly couple did not even stop training as hail began to fall. It had been raining and sleeting all day. Suddenly, a great warm wind blew from the West and over the side of the mountain. It was so intense that they had to find shelter behind a rock from the cutting wind. That was when they heard a sound worse than thunder tearing down the mountain. The two dragonborns looked over the boulder and saw the most terrifying sight they had ever seen.

It was more ravenous than a horde of thousand starved gnolls, greater in size than a storm titan and roared louder than any dragon imaginable. It was a black tornado that stretched from the ground, which it tore as easily through as a shovel through sand, to the dark heavens above, where it seemed to go on and on forever. It tore great trees from the mountain side that had stood a hundred years or more and it threw boulders through the air as if they were blades of grass. Nothing seemed safe in the twister’s path as it carved a vicious path of destruction across the hills and brought a tempest of lightning in its wake. Suddenly, it veered to the right and tore through their fields and toward their home. “The eggs!” They shouted in unison and, without a second thought, climbed over the boulder and sprinted for their cottage to save their unborn hatchlings.

Just as the couple made it into their home and, they each grabbed one handle of the chest they had been keeping the eggs warm in, the black twister pulled the cottage apart. Krina and Derrak held onto the chest with all their strength until, their muscles screamed in agony and the chest slipped from their grasp. They were thrown into the mud below, as the tornado carried on its path of destruction down the mountainside. Derrak awoke first but did not see where Krina had landed. Desperately, he shouted her name until his throat was raw and he could barely stand from the beating he had just taken. He then found their chest. To his horror, its contents had spilled out and their eggs were cracked and crushed. He let out one final roar of anguish as he sunk to the mud and squeezed the cracked shells in his bloodied hands. That’s when he heard a hoarse croak, “Derrak…?”

Stumbling to his feet, he dragged himself toward the voice, and saw his wife, curled up in the mud. Derrak reached to pull Krina to her feet and found that she was holding something to her chest. It was one last egg, the lone survivor of their clutch, and it was whole. Derrak pulled his wife to her feet and found them a shelter in the storm. Krina lay next to the fire he built, holding the egg, and not saying a word. Derrak walked to the mouth of the cave, overlooking the decimated valley below, through the downpour of rain that had replaced the wind and, trembled with fury. He cursed Kord and demanded an answer for why he would bring such ruin upon him and his wife. His words were drowned out by a crack of thunder as a bolt of lightning struck the mountain crag. Krina called from inside the cave, and Derrak rushed inside to see that the lone egg had a big crack in the middle of it. 

Derrak rushed forward but Krina stayed him with her hand and, lo and behold, a little face looked up at them from the egg. Krina stood up and carried the infant dragoborn, pale as milk, to the mouth of the cave. She held the baby up, rain falling on its head and a thunder crack rolling across them. Yet, the baby did not cry. It let out a laugh. Derrak held his wife and his infant, as all three of them laughed, and cried, in the face of the storm. Derrak named the baby boy, Nadarr; the name of his father’s fathe; the name that in Draconic meant, “Storm blessed.” The elderly couple then sat with their child in the cave and prayed to their god-the Thunderlord, and prayed that their son would serve him well.

Nadarr opened his eyes and uncrossed his legs. Rising to his feet, he stretched his arms and legs, before returning his holy symbol to its place around his neck. He then reentered the stable and picked up his breast plate, dusting the dirt off and pulling bits of hay from where they had gotten caught between the scales. He pulled on each piece of armor with great care and pulled his shield onto his back. He then picked up his sword, Gerhester, Draconic for the very same storm that killed his unhatched siblings, and attached it to his belt. He stepped out of the stable and began walking to the gate. 

At 15, he was fully grown physically and had been trained by a skilled Knight of the Azure Sky, Sir Ekkbar. He had squired the knight since he was just a boy. He had killed goblins and wild men. He had defended a fort, through a siege, against an invasion of zealous Templars from the south. He was as brave, honorable and strong as his parents had always hoped he would be and they were proud. Yet, he had never had a quest; and for a chance to prove his mettle against foes and struggles worthy of his effort, Nadarr prayed.


Word of the Day 10/8/11

 Word of the Day
"Allons-y, alonzo!"

bootstrap paradox [boot-strap-par-uh-doks]
1 . a paradox of time travel in which information or objects can exist without being created. After information or an object is sent back in time, it is recovered in the present, and becomes the very object/information that was initially brought back in time in the first place.

EX.  For example, in the classic 2007 episode of Dr. Who, "Blink," the Doctor records a message on film in 1969 in the form of a half-conversation. The other half is then provided by Lawrence Nightingale, after she sees the film in 2007, and then she hands the transcript to the Doctor before he goes back to 1969, thus creating a time paradox in which the scripted conversation has no clear origin. This is a perfect example of a bootstap paradox.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Word of the Day. 10/711

misanthrope [mis-uhn-throhp, miz-uhn-throhp]
1. a hater of humankind.

sociopath [soh-seeuh-path]
1. a person whose behavior is anti-social and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or a social conscience.

ultraviolence [uhl-truh-vahy-uh-lehnt]
1. acts of random, brutal, and/or vicious abuse or assault.

EX. A Clockwork Orange's Alex is the perfect example of a likeable misanthropic sociopath. Despite committing acts of "ultraviolence", including rape, Alex is so charismatic, and so entertaining, and the state is so oppressive, that by the end of the film you side with the disturbed anti-hero.


So tired...and still so much to do.

Pic on left completely unrelated (but cool). This webcomic is pretty groovy but the part starting in the link above is a hilarious bit of Pokemon satire involving a "Mr. Fish." The comic lampoons all kinds of video game culture, so check it out, and keep it manly.


Maybe, maybe not. George R. R. Martin is pretty big right now, thanks to the popularity of the Song of Fire and Ice book series and the Game of Thrones HBO series.

 I can just imagine sitting down to a bowl of cereal and enjoying the win-sauce of a Saturday Morning TF 2 animated series.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Word of the Day. 10/6/11

exorbitant [ig-zawr-bi-tuhnt]
1. exceeding the bounds of custom, propriety or reason, especially in the amount or extent; excessive.

EX. If you thought that Horse Armor was an excessive piece of DLC, wait until you see the exorbitant Crab Armor in Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.

*Just in case someone is silly enough to think this is legit, it's not. Buy this frickin' game 11/11/11.


Steve Jobs, the man who set up a company that makes it fashionable to pay for music, that sold products that have an ownership as tenuous as air, that created the most obnoxious of technophiles, that had a sense of pride that literally spilled from his turtleneck, and that is the closest thing to a real life Super Villain in the 21st century. You magnificent bastard, you will be missed. I wish I could say I own an Apple product but I don't. Thanks for having the balls to stand up to my hero and your friend, Bill Gates.

Don't rest in peace. Genius never rests, even in death.


Wednesday, October 5, 2011

DAILY ROUND-UP! 10/5/2011

I have a short story deadline in the morning and an exam in the afternoon so I apologize to the half-dozen people or so that check out my blog that I don't have a lot of neat stuff for you today.


WTF WEDNESDAY 4 Japan #2 Bikini Babe Assault in Victory Gundam

  Bikini Babe Assault in Victory Gundam 


I love anime but anime is weird. I deem this to be the weirdest moment in Gundam History. Enjoy. 

Word of the Day. 10/5/11

Word of the Day

chimerical [ki-mer-uh-kuhl/ kahy-meer-uh-kuhl l
1. unreal; imaginary; visionary
2. wildly fanciful; highly unrealistic

EX. I admire Rummy the Rhino's dreams of reaching unicorn-like perfection but, alas, was fully aware of how chimerical his dream was. A rhino can no more become a unicorn than I could become a wizard.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

DAILY ROUND-UP! 10/4/2011

So dang tired...check out these "flash backs" AKA internet things I've saved links to over the years.

My only caveat for a new Hollywood Godzilla movie would be
1. No Matthew Broedrick (sorry).
2. No stupid scenes where a huge ass lizard manages to lose a couple of helicopters.
3.Godzilla better have atomic breath.
4. There should only be one godzilla.
5. No baby godzillas.
6. No "That's a lot of fish!"

Legend of Zelda: The Four Swords just got a release for DSi and 3DS, for FREE, to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Zelda. If you got a DSi or 3DS download this awesome game. It'll be free until February.

I discovered this incredible animated film earlier this year after watching a review from Nostalgia Chick. It truly is a lost classic and has some fantastic animation, characters and takes a lot of risks. My favorite thing to do is watch the movie and mock what an obnoxiously snob the Unicorn is and this sing pretty much encapsulates why she is the most annoying character in the film.

Doesn't get much better than Tobuscus doing these awesome literal trailers of these video game trailers. WIN.

"I love all you ponies. Except for Ponita! Who is a ridiculous pony!"


Hello friends and film addicts,

I declared the Summer of 2011 to be my "Summer of 101 Movies!". It wass my goal to watch 101 movies I have never seen or finished by the end of the summer. I decided to put myself through this rigorous challenge after an argument I had with my friend, Zach Stanifer, over the fact that I want to write movie scripts but have missed out on alot of classics and blockbusters over the years. It was in that moment that I decided to challenge myself to expand my pallet and discover what the big screen could do for me through DVDS, Bluray and instant Netflix!

 Here goes my second blurb bomb!

 Quick note on my rating system?
*/5. So Bad Its Good- If I give a movie a "*," that means a special little turd. Its a movie that is so bad that its hilarious (even if the directors didn't mean to make it that way). These movies are great for sharing with friends and tearing it apart. Ex. The Room, Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation, Mac and Me.

 1/5 Kill It With Fire, If I give a film a rating of "1" it means the movie isn't just bad. It is barely a movie or so offensive that to even uses a single sensory organ to witness it would be an insult to the heavens. If I give a movie a 1, avoid it at all costs. The film is pure garbage. Kill it with fire. Ex.  Shrek The Third, Punisher: Warzone, 10,000 B.C. 

2/5. Bad, A movie that lands itself in the bad category means that, while a failure, is not a complete failure. The movie might have some entertainment value, like a good character/scene, but as a whole it fails or is offensive. Ex. Wolverine Origins, Star Wars: Episode I-The Phantom Menace, Hancock.

3/5. Okay, The movie was neither bad nor great. Its probably worth at least once viewing and maybe more if it really catches your fancy. This is probably the easiest rating to give a movie. ex. Night at the Museum, Simpsons Movie, Prince of Persia.

4/5. Great, These are the movie I recommend you check out at least once before you die or it you're just bored. These are the movies that really deserve attention and help elevate film as art and entertainment. ex. Iron Man, How to Train Your Dragon, The 40-Year Old Virgin.

5/5. Favorite, These movies are instant classics....or at least in my book. I reserve 5/5s for movies that I HAVE to own and watch and share with everyone. At some point this year, I'll probably make a list for my top 100 films. Wink. ex. Big Trouble in Little China, Brazil, The Royal Tenenbaums.

15. Interview with the Vampire. 4/5. I can see why this is such a classic vampire flick. It established a modern vampire mythos by using the creative backdrop of an interview between a skeezy Christian Slater and our main character, Louis. He tells the tale of his life from his low beginnings to his turning to his search for the meaning of vampire life.

The actor who really steals the show is, of course, Tom Cruise, hamming it up as Lestat. Playing up the bromance between his more dubious vampire and sensitive "vampire with a heart" works well, especially when placing the little lady of the film, Claudia, played by a young Kirsten Dunst. between their two philosophies. The thing that keeps this movie from being a repeat watch is how the second half drags after a premature climax between the two main characters in the middle.

16. Terminator. 5/5. Its a classic thriller/action flick with the man himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger, as the unstoppable robot killing machine from the year 2020, or something like that. This is a great example for all those directors and writers out there that wanna create an interesting thriller.

The action is effective, the characters are likeable and the mysteries to be solved, allow it to become more than the repetitive mess that most "unstoppable killer" flicks could possibly contend with.

17. Babe: Pig in the City. 4/5. This is a perfect example of a good sequel and a great family movie. Just as heartwarming as the original, it used the timeless children's move formula of piling tragedy upon tragedy, with a happy ending always on the horizon.

The comedy in this movie does tend to go from slapstick to animals talking but the sobering reality of it all keeps it from becoming too silly. The one thing this movie has over the originals is visuals. With a sequel, its always important to push the envelope, and the clever visual effects used to depict the "city" and its atmosphere are extremely enchanting. A must watch film for fans of the original.

18. True Grit (2010). 4/5. This is a pretty solid Western film from the Coen brothers. I don't have many complaints and was pleased with the overall production and was especially fond of all the performances. Its more of a dark comedy than anything.

Jeff Bridges, as the Dude- Rooster Cogburn, nails the pain and heart that lies in a tough, tough man, while he helps little Mattie, played ably by Hailee Steinfeld, get her revenge. A surprisingly amusing performance comes from pancake head, Matt Damon, who gives us a LaBeouf that isn't fight annoying robots but instead is a somewhat corny Texas ranger.

19. Killer Clowns from Outer Space. 3/5. It is a funny and weird horror flick with interesting special effects but a really odd premise. Is is scary if you're scared of clowns? Hell yes. If not, the scariest line? "We don't want to hurt you David. We just want to kill you."

20. All-Star Superman. 4/5. This movie poses two questions. Why does the world need a Superman and what would Superman do if he knew he was dying. Both are answered, in full, in this great example of WB animation.

The voice acting performances, the story and the style of animation, much like from the Superman/Shazam flick, was superb and stand up against big budget live action film. I'd go far to say that this was my favorite superman film.

 21. Sorcerer's Apprentice. 2/5. Blame it on whiny Jay Baruchel and mediocre comedy for making this movie a pain to watch. The concept of the sorcerers, Merlinians vs. Morganians, etc. and the plot in general could've made a great movie but the tone they took ruined any chances for that.

Specifically, the PGification of this movie, with a tacked on romance subplot that literally irritated every moment that it was mentioned or seen(and it came up far too often). An especially irritating scene is when they "pay homage" to the original Mickey Mouse animation they ripped the title from by having Jay summon mops to clean up his place...before his girlfriend comes...and completely dilute the glorious visuals and tone of the original premise.

All in all, avoid this highly disappointing film and rent Fantasia on Bluray instead.

22. Astroboy. 4/5. A pleasant surprise- this family film is about a little boy robot who is half-Frankenstein, half-Pinnochio and half-Superboy. Based on the classic manga and cartoon character, created by legendary Osamu Tezuka, the film is a pleasant modern realization of Astro Boy in CG animation.

This movie bombed at the box office but I was very impressed by how the style was adapted to the world and how the film created a very stylyized and interested world of the future. The sci-fi themes presented of robot oppression, father/son relationships, Frankenstein monster, etc. were all done artfully and weren't beating the audience of the head.

In the end it is a cute feel-good movie that manages to come off as charming, despite its use of CG. Would it have been better with 2D animation? Certainly. Is it still worth a watch with the kids? Certainly.

23. Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader. 2/5. It is a puzzling why Fox would pick up the Chronicles franchise from Disney, after the second movie bombed and make a third flick that, in retrospect was a bad idea. This movie is mediocre.

It especially fails in its pacing. At 2 hours long, most of the movie feels like padding, and the first half is far too drawn out, while the second act is far too fast. The special effects took a noticeable drop in quality from the first two films, as well, especially noticed in the effects created like the buildings, ships and anything large, (dragons, cough). All of the performances were perfectly acceptable but the way the characters were written was frustrating.

First, I would like to get the main pain out of the way, the cousin. The two younger siblings of the first two movies are heroes and are tagged along by a very obnoxious cousin. I wanted to see terrible things happen to him because he was more cynical than a movie critic! The other grating character decision was the way that Lucy, who was once a Queen for 100 years, acts like a self-conscious princess in the majority of the film.

In the end, the last straw is Aslan. While in the first two films, as in the books, it is obvious that he is an allegory for Jesus Christ, the new film oversteps its preaching. While I enjoyed the first movie, (the animated one and the disney one), I never felt like I was being beaten over the head with christian allegory, despite Aslan becoming a martyr and rising from the dead. In this film, Aslan basically lets slip he is in fact, GOD. I'm not sure whether its annoying or offensive but I certainly didn't find it enjoyable.

24. Basket Case. 1/5. Despite hopes that this supposed horror staple would be a "so-bad-it's good" scenario, the movie turned out to be anything but entertaining except for a few instances. In the end, I felt like the movie had wasted my time and even my horror movie buff friend, Zach Stanifer, was left thoroughly disappointed.

25. Thor: Tales of Asgard. 3/5. Marvel animation tends to pale in comparison to DC for one reason. Bruce Timm. The story was okay but the style was a little weak, especially when it came to women, who were drawn as if they have weird triangle fish lips....and so forth.

The movie isn't really anything to recommend, feeling rushed and awkward at times. I guess the real problem is that its a "Thor as a teenager" scenario and just like the gangly teenage design that he was given, this film just just doesn't leave much of an impression.

26. Social Network. 4/5. Sean Barnes likes this. What makes this movie work? The dialogue and the acting. What keeps it from being a classic or rewatch in my book? The story is basically your "behind the band" cliche flick, complete with two best friends, with one letting himself get caught up in the popularity and fame, getting lead astray and abandoning the other. Its clever but not genius.

The End.


Word of the Day

grisly [griz-lee]
1. causing a shudder, feeling of unease, or horror; gruesome; ghastly.
2. formidably grim.

bluster [bluhs-ter]
1. to roar and be tumultuous as wind.
2. to be loud, noisy or swaggering;to utter loud, empty menaces or protests.
3. boisterous noise and violence.
4.noisy empty threats or protests.

blustery [bluhs-ter-ee]
1. gusty

EX. Christopher Robin would never forget that blustery day. He had entered the Hundred Acre Wood, with great care, before finding a grisly sight. A great yellow bear blustering as it fought off a razor-toothed piglet, a vicious rabbit and a springing tiger. In the background, he could spot an apathetic mule laying in its own crapulence as it watched the scene unfold.


Batman gets to have all the fun.


I really don't even remember when I saw the "big reveal" from Empire Strikes Back but, honestly, it is one of the greatest twists in modern cinema and will stand the test of time. Take that M. Night Shamalamadingdong. Now if Lucas could just stop raping the original trilogy and put out a new trilogy, before I get too cynical to care, my life will be pretty sweet.

Pokemon can be pretty whack, yo.

Legos? Check. Lord of the Rings? Check. A huge battle scene complete with ents and the Tower of Isengard? OVER 9000 CHECKS!

Its when I see incredible pieces of animation paired up with brilliant music that doesn't even have 100, 000 views, much less the multi-million that a cute cat video gets, that I am reminded of why I blog. Check this out. ITS GODDDDDDSLLAAAAYYYYYERRRRR!

The internet loves unicorns but what is the ying to their yang? Narwhals. Narwhals are the most bizarre animals in the kingdom of large sea mammals thanks to a large tusk they have that curls into a shape that we usually associate with unicorns. The animated video above is an awesome parody of anime like Princess Mononoke and Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind.

Some day I'll tell you guys about my character, Bat-Dick.