Saturday, December 10, 2011

WORD OF THE DAY! 12/10/11

dark horse [dahrk-hawrs]
1. an unexpected and relatively unknown combatant, who is usually chosen as part of a compromise, for a contest.
2. an unlikely contestant or winner in a struggle; underdog.

Ex. Booster Gold is one of the most underestimated, underplayed, underutilized heroes of the DC Universe. He is often depicted as a doofus dark horse, a real out-of-towner from the future, and a hapless underdog. But really, who is Booster Gold?

Born in 25th Century Gotham City, Michael Jon Carter was born in a poor neighborhood where he found his talent in football. In fact, he became a star quarterback, nicknamed "Booster", for the Gotham University and a had a bright future--that is until he gambling addicted father reentered his life and convinced him to throw some games for his benefit. Unfortunately, Carter was caught and disgraced, his future falling by the wayside. So, Carter ended up working at the Metropolis Space Museum, as a security guard, alongside a security drone, Skeets. It was in the museum that Carter was inspired to become a super hero.

After becoming obsessed with the Super Heroes of the 20th Century displays in the museum he developed a dubious plan; he stole several super hero inventions and uses a time machine to go back to the past, become a super hero and, by making a fortune through a company he would start, live comfortably.The artifact he stole gave him the powers of flight, power blasts, nearly indestructible energy shields, enhanced strength, agility, and dozens of other useful technology based abilities.

His first outing was to save the President from being assassinated, along with his robot sidekick Skeets, as "Goldstar". A mix up happened in the press of the event and from that moment on he became Booster Gold. Booster gained a reputation as a glory hound and wannabe celebrity, because he used his name and identity for advertising. He has a bad reputation amongst other heroes, some even calling him "Buster" and often treating him like an idiot. Is Booster a bad hero?

Dozens of times, Booster has been written as a glory hound, but this is not a fair interpretation. Most of the time, Booster comes through as a true-blue hero who has saved the world on multiple occasions, sacrificed his own life/safety for others, and shown great generosity. He is actually a powerhouse in the DC Universe thanks to his knowledge of future events and super technology borrowed from other heroes.Superman is nearly defeated by an ANDROID (pictured above) of Booster Gold and is only saved by the help of Booster Gold. He won me over in DC's 52 (2006-2007) run where he not only proves to be a competent scientist, time traveler and hero, but also saves Metropolis and the world several times. It is in fact, implied through several stories, that Booster is destined to do more great deeds in the near future. And yet...

And yet, the New 52 resets a lot of characters, including Booster who is portrayed as his old glory hound self. It's frustrating, but I remain optimistic that this character has a bright future, some might even say "golden".

Here is a link to his Justice League episode. Did I mention Billy West plays Skeets?


Next week? Booster's best friend, The Blue Beetle.

Friday, December 9, 2011

WORD OF THE DAY! 12/9/11

facade [fuh-sahd, fa-sahd]
1. Architecture. a. the front of a building, especially an imposing or decorative one.
                          b. any side of a building facing public way or space and finished accordingly.
2. a superficial appearance, illusion, or something.

EX. The Clark Kent-to-Superman facade is a mysterious function of his comics that has left the public conscious curious, confused, or both. The easiest explanation of how the disguise works is a rather simple one-- in Superman's Universe the difference of wearing clothes, glasses and his hair in a different way is enough of a disguise. Yet, for those of us unsatisfied with this lazy narrative choice we need only look to the various theories (some of which have actually been put into comics) to explain this feature of the Man of Steel's life.

The most ridiculous explanation, in my opinion, comes from the Silver Age. During the Silver Age, and in the films starring Christopher Reeves, is the idea of Superman having incredible powers of hypnosis and suggestion. The idea goes that he simply hypnotizes everyone who sees him into not making the connection between Clark and Superman.The problem with it? Why the hell wouldn't Superman use it all the time?

 On a terrible side note of Superhero history, Superman once got hypnotized by a hideous little gremlin by the name of Sleez into making as porno with MARRIED super heroine Big Barda in a comic lauded since its release as disturbing, sexist, stupid, etc. Just goes to show as bad as the Silver Age could be about silly stuff, at least it didn't involve Superman technically being raped/forced to rape one of his friends by a super villain. Egads! I need to go wash my eyes by reading All-Star Superman.

1 Hour Later...

The next explanation is that Superman's glasses have a special property, probably made from his ship, that disguises him as Clark Kent. While the idea has a little more plausibility, it doesn't explain why, if Clark lost his glasses, people still wouldn't make the connection.

The idea that I tend to support is the most bizarre, sci-fi, and therefore somehow more sensible. Superman has complete control of his body. For example, he can control his vocal cords to be able to imitate anyone's voice. So, how does he disguise himself? He vibrates features of his face at super sonic speeds thus distorting his face just enough to remain disguised. Only problem? If he kisses someone while doing this he'd probably kill them! 0.0

I don't know which theory to buy into or whether I need to buy into it all. A lot of attention has been paid to this dichotomy over the years, but one thing is important to know; Clark Kent is real, Superman is the mask. In Kill Bill: Episode 2 there is an infamous speech about how Clark Kent is a criticism of the human race-- cowardly, weak, and clumsy. Its a nice speech and feeds into all the Superman hatred out there, but its completely off base. Clark Kent is an honest, brave, trustworthy, respectable, hard-working, compassionate, generous, genius, kind and American human man. In the end, Clark Kent stands as the most human of men in the DC Universe, and Superman will continue to capture the imagination of people everywhere and serves as a Paragon of Truth, Justice, and the American Way.

Thursday, December 8, 2011


As I've said before, and I'll say again, I love Pokémon. After finding out some of my friends were changing their profile pics to Pokémon for December, I couldn't choose a favorite and instead took it one step further and drew a Pokémon trainer version of myself with six Pokémon I could see myself running around with.

First, I drew myself as a trainer. I tried to draw in the style of the Pokémon anime but instead decided to nix that and draw it my way. I am regrowing my epic beard so I went with that. I would've drawn myself more rotund, but if I was a traveling Pokémon trainer I reckon I would be in better shape. Gotta lose some weight!

Now from left to right and top to bottom:

"Heracross!" is hands down one of the coolest designs and coolest sounding Pokémon. He is a physical sweeping battle beetle that fulfills the specialize niche of being both a Bug Type and Fighter Type. Did you know that Satoshi Tajiri, the creator of Pokémon, came up with the concept of Pokémon based on his childhood past time of insect collection (beetle fighting is huge in Japan).

To quote an earlier article, Togekiss makes up for the disappointing evolution and design of Togetic. Not only is Togetic one of the cutest designs, as well as one of the cleanest, she uses her wings to Wall against both Physical and Special moves and is one of the most flexible Flying Pokémon of all time. She is one of the best Pokémon you could have watching your back from a bird's eye view.

My starter of choice? Tepig! I have always ran fire starters, and Tepig, being a cartoon pig, was too hard for me not to choose. Emboar is really cool, with his samurai style/sumo gusto. He is a Recoiling Piggy Powerhouse! He seems like he would be really good natured and heroic-- or maybe just really hungry..

The first Pokémon I tried to draw today was Golduck. I have always been a fan of the cool Water Pokémon, especially since he evolves from the fan favorite Psyduck, and usually enjoy having him on board as my Special Sweeper with a great movepool; my Mallard of Malice! I especially like how the expression came out on his bill-- a devious smirk!

Electric Pokémon are one of my favorite types. As I mentioned in another article, Ampharos was one of my favorite designs but fell flat in combat. How do we make up for that? Replace a sheep with a lion! Luxray has a cool name, a Sphinx inspired design, and, with a roar, he charges into battle with confidence of a king!

Last, but not least, is one of my two favorite grass-type Pokémon, Roserade (the other is probably Torterra). The rose-petal Zorro of the Pokémon world, Roserade is another reason to love 4th Generation for evolving Pokémon that, otherwise, weren't worth the time. Sure, she is small, but my Roserade always comes in to save the day just in the nick of time.

Thanks for reading my blog. Make sure to subscribe, comment, and leave ideas for how to improve the blog/ see more of the kinds of things you like.

Here is a link to my article on the Five Generations of Pokémon.

WORD OF THE DAY! 12/8/11

absolutism [ab-suh-loo-tiz-uhm]
1. the principle or the exercise of complete and unrestricted control in government.
2. any theory hold that values, principles, etc., are absolute in value and non-relative, dependent, or changeable.

EX. The absolutism of Truth, Justice and the American Way have been perverted by Superman writers for decades. Some stories, like the one above (which I own), works and some don't.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011



Egads! In the 1950's, young men came from the war and had two things on their minds; starting families with their favorite gal and lots and lots of animal violence. Seriously, below are a series of covers from Man's Life and other periodicals, stretching from the fifties to seventies, that surely sat in the barbershops, hunting lodges, and gladiator locker-rooms that these manly men must have frequented. Maybe men back then were really just that manly?

Or maybe animals, back in the day, were just filled with a kind of hatred we soft men of the 21st Century can only imagine?

Check out more of these insane covers by clicking on "Read More" below.

Warning. Some of these covers and their captions could be construed as offensive.

WORD OF THE DAY! 12/7/11

feat [feet]
1. a noteworthy or an extraordinary act or achievement usually displaying boldness, skill, etc.
2. Obsolete*. a specialization, or skill.

 * Actually, in Dungeons and Dragons we still use the term feat to refer to a specialization or skill.

 EX. With a total of about four appearances in Action Comics, one appearance in Superman #361, and a sixth appearance in Green Arrow, Captain Strong is a super hero parody of Popeye the Sailor Man; captain of The Fantasia, he performed amazing feats of strength by consuming a plant with incredible properties called "sauncha" that also had the side-effect of making him act irrational, dangerously aggressive, and suffer from withdrawal symptoms.

With Superman's help, he went to rehab, quit using "sauncha", and swore to only eat vegetables to build up his already remarkable strength. Ever since he has continued to do good where he can, befriend both Clark Kent and Superman (unaware of the fact they're the same person), and serve as both an analogue for drug abuse and for proper nutrition.

And perhaps that is the greatest feat of all.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011


REUSED: Hark, a Vagraint is a wonderful webcomic by Kate Beaton. She covers a range of subjects from history to literature and, as seen above, occasionally draws a dandy strip satirizing our favorite super heroes. I have been reading her strips for a couple of years and they are an absolute treat. They range from silly comics about the "Sexy Tudors" to the tragic but amusing life of a chimney sweep. Her comics are usually done in black and white, a style I prefer, but occasionally she does colored comics like the one above. Check out her website and if your really dig here, consider picking up one of her wonderful books.

P.S. She is so cool she even got an homage on Adventure Time dedicated to her Shetland Pony character in the episode "The Eyes".

P.P.S. Her comic is so awesome that I decided to link it twice in a row. Deal with it.

WORD OF THE DAY! 12/6/11

voracious [vaw-rey-shuhs]
1. craving or consuming large portions of food.
2. exceedingly eager or avid.
3. monstrously hungry; starving; blood-thirsty.

EX. The moblins carefully crept down the hall past piles of shattered armor and body parts, stepping over their fallen comerades, as they attempted to search for the trespasser. Up ahead, they saw a shadow with two points like horns extending from its head, in the fountain room. The smallest moblin, Gormo, carefully took the lead and peaked into the chamber. To his horror, he watched as the man-elf tore blue fairies from mason jars and tore into them like a voracious beast. He was transfixed by the horror of the gnawing, chomping, slurping sounds of the grisly meal.

The moblins turn tail and ran. They heard the hero spin about and tried to turn about face. Gormo was hit by a blue boomerang that froze him where he stood. He was forced to watch in horror as his friends were each cut down, paralyzed, trying desperately to get free. The last thing he saw the blood-splattered face of the demon as it rose it's sword high above it's head and let out a howl of  


His head tumbled to the ground and rupies fell from his coin pouch. The gnome-like man carefully scooped up the gems and continued on his way past the dead guards.

Monday, December 5, 2011

WEEKLY ROUND-UP! 11/28-12/4 2011


Lordy Lordy! Look who's turning forty-forty!

I am sure that Super Meat Boy is a great game but also difficult. I personally haven't played it because, well, I'm a cheap bastard and am perfectly content with playing regular old Meat Boy on Newgrounds. If you've never checked out the puzzle platformer, try it out there, and, if ya like it, make sure to download it for XBOX 360, PS3, or PC.

There is a special place in my heart reserved for the Silver Age of Comic Books. From the bizarre to the bland to the mediocre to the masterful, the age gave us some of our greatest heroes and established much of what we know about them today. Few heroes are more blessed by this era then the Man of Steel, Superman. In the Silver Age, they often resorted to outrageous covers to get attention of Superman doing ridiculous things. Did Wolverine every drain a city's water supply to fight off aliens?

Someday we'll understand the Zelda timeline...some day.

Conclusion of Weekly-Round Up's #1 Item. Check it out at #1.

Gaston is probably one of the more interesting Disney villains.

I really enjoyed sharing these anecdotes about the weird and wonderful worlds I create with my friends and Dungeons and Dragons. This adventure really was one of my favorite to DM, but there are plenty of other stories that I plan to share in the future. Thanks to all my friends in the Action Society.


 No one hates his characters more than Harry Partridge. In almost every cartoon he has ever posted on his channel on youtube and from way back when I saw his early work on Newgrounds, he has always been one of the cruelest creators in cartoon animation. Yet, there is one thing he loves. Skyrim. In the last few months he has posted three entire musical videos about Skyrim! Check them out BELOW!

WORD OF THE DAY! 12/5/11

algebriac [al-juh-brey-ik]
1. of, occurring in, or utilizing algebra.
2. Mathematics. of or pertaining to an element that is the root of a polynomial equation with coefficients from some given field.
3. using arbitrary letters or symbols in place of the letters, numbers, or symbols of an actual application.
4. Slang. AWESOME!


Sunday, December 4, 2011




As I said in the aforementioned blog entry linked above, I love Dungeons and Dragons. I have been playing, more or less, once a week every week for the last couple of years and I have no plan of ever stopping. All the time I have spent playing tabletop boardgames and pen-and-paper role-playing games with my friends have been some of the best times of my life. I don't think there is any harm in divulging yourself in a fantasy for a few hours a week. The fact that I get to provide that fantasy is one of my proudest and most beloved things about being me.

For the majority of time I have played, I have been the Dungeon Master. For those of you who don't know, the Dungeon Master (or DM for short) is responsible for creating the game world, populating them with characters and monsters, telling the story, determining the adventure, and, for all intensive purposes is the god of the game world. As an author, this gives me the greatest chance to improvise fantastic world, creatures and scenarios in a way that is, above all else, entertaining.

Today's article is a continuation of the story linked above. So I recommend you read that article first before reading this one. Here goes.

The Lizard of LOLZ: Donkeys Will Fall

After watching their companion, Chris the Thief Prince, get sucked into the magical book, Dulin the son of the Chief of the Golden Lion Tribe and Justin the son of a gnome tinkerer considered their options. After a moment of debate, they leaped in. After a moment of falling through the technicolor stratisphere, a couple of rainbows and the fluffiest clouds imaginable they found themselves on terra firma again.But they weren't in Kievo anymore.

They found themselves standing in the middle of a village of queer little huts made up to look like cartoonish mushrooms and flowers. They also heard the bleating groan of an overturned donkey nearby and under the donkey were a pair of legs sticking out with glowing red boots. The donkey groaned, "Oh shit. You must be the guys that knocked me out of the sky! Way to go!" They apologized and tried to help the donkey up but he was too large. 

As they stopped trying to help the talking donkey up, the townfolk, little goblins dressed in the most bizarre of clothing. The goblins called themselves the "Munchlins" and explained that our heroes had in fact killed the Wicked Biatch's sister, Nicole. They sung a song of celebration for the heroes in thanks. Unfortunately, the celebration was interrupted by the Wicked Biatch!

She was pissed to see her sister crushed under the donkey and started laying down the curses on our heroes when she is interrupted by the arrival of a glowing pink bubble of positive light. The Wicked Biatch retreated but promised to have her revenge. The pink bubble was a good witch, Pepto. 

After hearing of how our heroes need to return home, she tells them travel along the Yellow Brick Road to Emeraldopolis and the Lizard of LOLZ. She explained if anyone could help them out, it would be the Lizard. To help them on their quest, she tells Justin to take the Ruby Red Boots and put them on. When Justin put on the boots they were transformed. Justin found his skin become like iron, Dulin found himself covered in fur, and Chris found that his skin had taken on the quality of burlap. Perturbed, they quickly made their way down the road.

So, our heroes began their travels on the Yellow Brick Road. They soon found another group of goblins waiting in ambush on the sides of the road. The goblins came out and threatened them. They explained they were "Gobkins" and were enemies of the Munchlins. The heroes beat them up and left them on the road.

The next part of our story involves three mishap encounters with increasingly hilarious and desperate results. First, they came upon the River of Tears. The River was said to drown anyone who smiled. So, our first two heroes made it across relatively easy. After all, a cat-like man and a tin-covered man aren't going to enjoy getting wet. The last to cross was Chris, who laughed "That wasn't so hard!" just when he was about to get out and would've been swallowed up the river if the other heroes hadn't grabbed him and pulled him up just in time. Then, our heroes made their way to the Field of Dreams across from the city.

The field was strange and hazy. As our heroes crossed, Chris noticed a strange cotton candy like floss covering the flowers and reached down to try some. Poof! He fell down into the flowers, unconscious, and a giant spider made of crystal came skittering across the top of the field to sink its pincers into Chris. The other heroes reacted quickly and killed it. 

The final challenge between our heroes and the Lizard was a rope bridge known as the Bridge of Baby Laughter. With each step, on each plank, a giggle is let out. If the heroes looked down, the plank they stood on would fall out from under them, and, sure enough, Chris looked down. He probably would've fallen to his death if not a desperate prayer to his goddess, Ladiana AKA Lady Luck. He managed to grab a branch hanging out of the cliff face. The others managed to wrap a lasso over him and pull him out before he fell to his death.

They made their way up the hill and to the entrance to Emeraldopolis. They knocked on the door and the Doorman opened a little slot to talk to them. He told them to go away. After the worst day in his life, Chris the thief prince began to cry and sob. Seeing the tears, he managed to touch the Doorman's heart, and he let them in.

They were then led inside and down the hall to meet the Lizard. To almost no one's suprirse they were greeted by a giant green dragon. The dragon told them that he would help them under the condition that they each pass a special trial and defeat the Biatch. They agree. The dragon sends them each to a different room.The first test is for Chris the Thief to solve a puzzle in , the second test was for Dulin to pick a door, one with certain death and the other certain salvation. The final test was that Justin had to choose between his friends and escaping the book. Refusing to choose, Justin attacked the dragon, and it tumbled back revealing that it was in fact being controlled by the Door Man. The Door Man released the heroes and explained he was, in fact, the gnome book store owner's brother, Lolz. He wrote the book and tried to use a spell to make it like the Dimensional Books. It worked but then he got trapped inside. He explains that the only way to escape is by killing the Biatch.

They soon get their chance as she assaults Emeraldopolis with her flying monkeys. The heroes try and fight her off but it seems she is too powerful. They only stop her when Justin grabs her wand, swings it, and tries to call down lightning on her. Instead, another donkey falls from the sky and crushes her where she stands. Thankful for their assistance, Lolz admits he wants to stay in his kingdom, and tells them that they had what they needed all along to go home. After tapping the heels of the boots, three times, and saying the words, "There's no place like home!" The heroes soon found themselves back in the book shop, returned to normal, but Justin still had the boots and the broom of the Biatch.

Thus concluded the first story arc of the Story Book campaign. Thank you.