Saturday, March 30, 2013



Oh boy. You'd think Magikarp and Gyarados would be easy pickings for Pokémon of the Week, but I've already talked about them so much that there hardly seems to be much more to say...does there? Well, I'm still gonna give it the old college try.

Here are some popular articles I've done featuring the fishy duo:  

WORD OF THE DAY! 3/30/13!

rod [rod]
1. Cryptozoology. A term used to refer to elongated artifacts in the form of light-rods produced by cameras. Videos of these objects moving through the air have been alleged to be alien life forms, "extradimensional" creatures, and/or very small UFOs. Subsequent experiments have shown that these objects appear in film because of an optical illusion (often created in interlaced video) and are typically traces of a flying insects, bird, and bat wing beats-- hence why these cryptids are often spotted near caves and other areas frequented by these creatures.

EX. Is the picture up top a "rod?" Short answer. No. Long answer. There are a number of more plausible theories that could explain the image; it could be an error or malfunction, something on the lens, a piece of an aircraft, or some other sort of earthly object trapped or falling through the atmosphere like a kite. Must acquire more information...

Friday, March 29, 2013

WORD OF THE DAY! 3/29/13!

bathos [bey-thos] 
1. A ludicrous descent from the exalted or lofty to the commonplace; anticlimax.
2. Insincere pathos; sentimentality; mawkishness.   
3. Triteness or triviality in style. 

EX. In Pokémon, there is no riddle more tired than the question, "What does the rest of Diglett look like?" As a child, I honestly just assumed he was like a little cylinder tube of brown Pokémeat that dug around underground and popped its head out to battle. I also never really worried about the rest of Diglett's body (despite finding Dugtrio stupid) and accepted some of the ideas from the anime that, for some reason, Digletts helped the trees grow. In other words, its a goshdarn video game and, out of all the questions in Pokémon, this one is best left unanswered.

After all, no matter what answer they give us, the truth will not be up to par with the plethora of ridiculously amusing theories about the little Ground type that have been ran into the ground, over and over, to the point of losing their shine. If Game Freak, inc. ever reveals this un-mystery, the results will be unsatisfying and leave us with a sense of ennui and bathos.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

WORD OF THE DAY! 3/28/13!

brawn [brawn]
1. Strong, well-developed muscles.
2. Muscular strength.

EX.The Pokémon anime has its fair share of odd moment. Pictured above, the character Bianca, a friendly rival and occasional companion to Ash Ketchum in the anime, is touching the arm of the Pokémon Sawk...

...who apparently has been put on steroids by his trainer or has just used Bulk Up to, rather than look like his usually slim build, to instead resemble a horrible nightmare that somehow crosses the dreams of Picasso with Arnold Schwarzenegger. The weirdest part is the suggestive reaction of Bianca too touching the brawn of Sawk. 

On a related note, we need to do more research to figure out why at least one Nurse Joy has super strength. Do all Nurse Joy's have super strength? Then...then why don't they become super heroes instead of just running Pokécenters? Couldn't they just Chansey in charge or a matronly Blissey? These are the things that keep me awake at night...

Also, do Pokémon Dream of Electric Mareep?

Wednesday, March 27, 2013



I rarely know the proper way to start a WTF Wednesday, but this week you're getting a Dragon Ball Z parody examination of your prostate. So say "Hello, Kakarot and hello Vegeta, Super Saiyan Prince of Proctology!" and bend over. I think that's the first time I've told my readers to bend over and prepare themselves for content...and it will probably not be the last. Welcome to Wed.


I hope my Japanese is still up to snuff...

How many Velociraptors does it take to change a lightbulb?

Idiot. Raptors don't have lightbulbs to change nor a reason to change them. They probably would just steal fire from cavemen. They already steal their cave wi-fi.

WORD OF THE DAY! 3/27/13!

mimicry [mim-ik-ree] 
1. The act, practice, or art of mimicking.
2. Biology. The close external resemblance of an organism, the mimic, to some different organism, the model, such that the mimic benefits from the mistaken identity, as seeming to be unpalatable or harmful.
3. An instance, performance, or result of mimicking.

EX. Who knew that Pikachu was such a master of mimicry? To see more examples of Pikachu's apparently impressive imitations just do some googling and you'll find... his masterful imitations of Mudkip, Torchic, Treecko, Meowth, Lotad, Exploud, Cacnea, Seviper, and Budew. The crazy thing? there are probably even more out there... who knew?!

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

WEEKLY ROUND-UP! 3/18-3/24/13!


7. WORD OF THE DAY! 3/23/13! Dating Sim.

The themes of the week seem to have been romance, pigeons, Pokémon, Disney's Mickey Mouse, & Capcom.


This one sorta speaks to those themes of der luv.


And then Pigeon Pokémons... they sure are bland normal/flying Pokémon.

4. WORD OF THE DAY! 3/21/13! Icon.

But then I get to talk about Mickey Mouse! I think most kids today are, more or less, being robbed of the animated heritage of the Looney Tunes & Disney Toons. Share these classic pieces of our culture.

3. WORD OF THE DAY! 3/18/13! Venture.

And Venture Bros. Season Five hype & Batman's parents are going to break the pattern. Oops.

2. WORD OF THE DAY! 3/20/13! Victim of Circumstance.

Fun Fact: I've actually made a Batman "MY PARENTS ARE DEEAAAAAAAD!!!" Christmas card a couple of years ago. Check out the card and other awesome cards I did HERE & HERE.

And last, but certainly not least, I did a review of another lost Disney-Capcom gem that, with the announcement of Ducktales Remastered HD for XBLA, PSN, & Wii-U, I hope to see re-released in the near future to home consoles.

WORD OF THE DAY! 3/26/13!

American Exceptionalism [uh-mer-i-kuhn-ik-sep-shuhn-uhl-iz-uhm]
1. The proposition that the United States and it's citizens has the unique role amongst countries to spread it's own brand of democracy and freedom. It it not necessarily a notion that American culture is inherently superior or quantitatively better, but instead that it is "qualitatively different". While American superiority or righteousness amongst its peoples can be traced back as early as the Puritan and non-Puritan settlers established the concept of the "City Upon a Hill", the "uniquely" American ideology didn't come to the forefront until the revolution. The American branding of the ideals of liberty, egalitarianism, individualism, populism and laissez-faire have been at the core of this "exceptionality" ever since. Critics use the term in derision to refer to an American sense of superiority and others still use the term with some hint of the "City Upon a Hill" reverence in modern politics.

EX. It's difficult to escape American Exceptionalism-- national pride is instilled through the cultural zeitgeist through public holidays, monuments, history books, television, films, etc, as part of a conscious effort and sub-conscious effort to instill patriotism. This, in itself, is not necessarily a bad thing. While I personally don't see the difference between national pride and team pride (the idea that one's sport team is somehow inherently different than their rivals), although I do appreciate there is much more cultural difference between nations, because, much like your sport teams and other ideologies, an individual's support is usually based on geography. If you live in Baltimore, you're probably a Ravens fan. If you live in New York, New York USA, you're probably an America fan. And yet, despite how I try to holster the patriotism instilled into me by my upbringing, I must admit that a part of me still thinks America is the best (but not say that most of the competition is worth beating, necessarily).

The ideals of American liberty, egalitarianism, individualism, populism, and even a laissez-faire treatment of social and economic issues point toward a progressive society, in which, we would all be proud to be citizens. And yet, the problem is that the many people who do not feel so proud of our country have good reason to feel that way; many in this country, throughout history, who consider themselves to be "patriots" and, the more popular term as of late, "real Americans" have their own set of American ideals that conflict with "American Exceptionalism". Social and economic conservatives, traditionalists, who instead support and have supported the ideals of slavery and inequality, conformity, classism (where the elite rich enslave the poor), manifest destiny, and strict social adherence to an imagined idealic social standard created to justify witchhunts. Under the guise of "protecting the American way of life", a plethora of crimes against humanity have been committed in our history. These ideas can be traced back to the earliest American settlers and still resonate today in the shadow of the American stars and stripes.

Colombia, the Flying City in Bioshock: Infinite is a microcosm of these contradictory ideas coming to a head. Unlike Rapture, Colombia isn't a dystopic museum of oddities sinking beneath the waves, but a living, breathing "utopia" that is on the brink of self-immolation. Colombia fits an old saying, not only in metaphor but also literally, "United we stand, divided we fall."

Monday, March 25, 2013



I've talked about Bioshock before. Some of the articles I've written on the subject are some of my most memorable pieces. Now, before we even get into today's features, make sure to check out those excellent articles linked below:

And now for a look at the trailers for my most anticipated game of the year and, most likely, hot contender for best title of 2013, Bioshock Infinite.

It was way back in 2011 that we got our eyeballs coated in the sunshine of the beautiful new Bioshock's setting, Colombia. The trailer did an excellent job; first, they tease us with a fish tank to start with a image from Bioshock, then we're running from some brute, rope to rope and airship to airship, to see something like Disney's Main Street USA floating in the clouds above the scenic pastures of American farmland. This time, it was clear, that rather than anti-altruism being the central theme of the society, that Colombia was "City upon a Hill" taken to new heights in a tableau of American Exceptionalism. The trailer ends with a mystery. You see a beautiful woman-- the game's princess stuck away in some tower guarded by a dragon-- before plumetting toward the ground.

The imagery is a gorgeous and well-lit paradise that completely contradicts the sunken, cold, and claustrophobic tomb of oddities that was Rapture. Also, make sure to check out the delightfully quirky LITERAL video by Tobuscus for added fun.

This trailer kicks things up a notch and gives us a better introduction to Booker Dewitt, the game's protagonist, and his mission to "save" Elizabeth from Colombia-- in exchange for his debts and crimes being wiped clean from the slate. Then it focuses on the new enemies unique to the setting that all represent different threats and how you'll deal with them. Surely, this was an exciting addition to get us hyped up.

Then, a couple of months ago, we got this neat video promo that represented an old documentary or teaser for a documentary on the video game world's myths surrounding this lost marvel that sets up some ideas of how Colombia fits into the history of the same world as Rapture (presumably). I especially loved the creepy 80's mystery music in the background and the narration.

Infinite's main character relationship and, according to Kevin Levine, one of the trickiest elements to nail down for the final product was the relationship and gameplay built around Elizabeth. According to review and previews, Dewitt spends most of the game with Elizabeth close at his side and her characterization, through animation and voice, is superb. I can't wait to find out about more about the mysterious girl to meet since the first trailer.

And lastly,  we've got the action packed launch trailer that shows some of the ways that you'll interact with characters (besides shooting them in the face and blasting them apart with powers). I'm excited to start playing this game, well, like in 2011. But I'm excited by the prospects of getting this in the mail tomorrow or Wednesday and hope to share my feelings with you on the title soon. 

WORD OF THE DAY! 3/25/13!

roll out [rohl-owt]
1. To flatten or spread, as with a rolling pin.

EX. Miltank! Transform and roll out!

Sunday, March 24, 2013

WORD OF THE DAY! 3/24/13!

hum [hum]
1. A low continuous droning sound or vibration.
2. To emit or utter a low continuous droning sound or vibration.
3. (A muffled sound of contemplation, disgust, dissatisfaction, doubt, etc.)