Friday, June 19, 2015

FTW FRIDAY! COUCH COINS, GIANT ROBOTS, & LIFETIME MOVIES!


Thanks to the Arrow and Game of Thrones and living in Australia for a few years, I've got a lot of hardcore British to Australian accents for Dungeons and Dragons. Because they can be hilarious or scary or awesome! Some day I'll share them with you!

"I KEEP MY PROMISES!"


A little bit of anime weird in the form of an ADHD animation that conceptualizes Michael Bay's rumored version of Evangelion that gets it wrong because, while Michael Bay's film would be terrible, the cartoon is entertaining in a terrible bad awesome sorta way.


The Lifetime Channel movie has become synonymous with topical based-on-real-life dramas where a good woman is betrayed by her spouse via a manipulative third party that brings out the dumb, violent, and sex-driven psychopath hiding in every suburban household. I think. I wouldn't know. I don't watch cable. BUT I DO WATCH WILL FERRELL MOVIES!

And this looks like a hilarious played straight bit of satire.

Thursday, June 18, 2015

WORD OF THE DAY! 6/18/15! (TOP TEN DREAM AMIIBO)

bauble [baw-buhl]
noun
1. A showy, usually cheap, ornament; trinket; gewgaw.

EX. Amiibos are curious baubles. But I can't stop collecting them:

And, apparently from the fact that Nintendo announced that every Smash character will get an Amiibo alongside Amiibo support being paired with most Nintendo first party titles, other Nintendo fans can't stop collecting them either. I mean, look at this release calendar:


And so, with E3's Nintendo coverage appearing to be kaput (except for a possible surprise or two tomorrow), I want to talk about my top ten dream amiibo...sets! This list is a mess but bare with me for there are some sweet ideas here!

#10 Indie characters like Shovel Knight!

Shovel Knight will probably never get into Smash or get an Amiibo, but a man can dream!

#9 Prof. Layton and Phoenix Wright

The great lawyer and detectives are third party characters but, considering that they already have full length feature films attributed to them, their popularity makes their immortality in plastic seem inevitable.

#8 Dixie Kong and other Kongs

 Why not release all the Kong Family alongside a spiritual sequel to Donkey Kong 64?

#7 Master Hand and Crazy Hand

Why not have the villains from Smash unlock a new difficulty?

#6 Consoles and Controllers

Weird choice? I don't think so. Especially if it unlocked a game or two or something? Maybe a menu theme? Shrug.

#5 Midna, Groose and other Zelda NPCs

I realize that you nerds have your own Zelda games. Mine are Link to the Past, Twilight Princess and Skyward Sword. Deal with it.

#4 Tanuki Suit, Cape, and other power-up Marios

Not sure what these guys would be used for... but they would be really cute.

#3 Birdo, Koopalings, Goombas, Koopas, etc.

They should make a game about Bowser's minions trying to save Bowser or make him a birthday cake or steal Princes Peach.

#2 Red, Blue, Professor Oak and other Pokemon NPCs

Um... they could make like a Pokemon Party or Board Game? I dunno, but I need OAK!

#1 Every Pokemon.

This is also my nightmare. Like this would and will cause the downfall of civilization. There are over 700 Pokemon left to make into Amiibos. At $13 per figure, that would come out to $9,100 and that's without all the scalpers ruining everyone's day!

Gotta catch 'em all. And go bankrupt.

Who did I forget? I got "nana" idea and think it would be a "popo" waste of time to try and figure-- ICE CLIMBERS! I FORGOT THE ICE CLIMBERS!

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

TABLETOP TALES: MODERN MASTERS 2015 DRAFT: "BW SPIRITS OF NORN"

TABLETOP TALES PRESENTS
MODERN MASTERS 2015 DRAFT: "BW SPIRITS OF NORN"

To check out my other decks, hit the link below:


This article serves two purposes: To share the nerd entertainment around with anyone who might find it interesting and, in this case, to share my experience with Modern Masters 2015.


You can find Magic Cards in super stores (Ex. Walmart, Target) but the best place you can buy your cards, meet other players, and play in events is at your local comic book store or hobby shop. I buy most of my cards at The Comic Cellar. Here is a link to its Google Maps location at 3620 Austin Peay Highway #2 Memphis, TN 38128.

And here is a link to Comic Cellar's Website

Modern Masters 2015 is not your average Magic set: each pack runs you $10 and, rather than being a standard block, it is a set created for drafting and building Modern decks. Modern is a format that includes cards from 8th Edition and on. This means Modern is a format that changes as new cards are added but is fairly stable. Furthermore, as the cards don't rotate out of the format, Modern staples retain their value much better than most other cards do in their respective format. So, you're paying for cards that, on average, have higher value and hold their value due to their timeless nature. This is also a draft set so you can expect the set to suffer from a few wonky additions to make drafting smooth but ultimately is a value set for anyone wanting to get into Modern or get a trade binder full of Modern staples. But mostly I just wanted to draft!

In the draft, we had a pod of eight players. In order to draft, each player received three packs. You take a card from the pack and pass it to the right/left with each players taking turns taking a card from each pack until there are no more cards. Rinse and repeat twice. Everybody ends up with 45 cards and uses those materials to create a 40 card or greater deck with available lands. The draft is best of three against three opponents. Based on your outcome, you are placed higher in the standing and the winner gets a prize.

And I wanted to win this time, so I built the best deck I could and even drew some amazing rares with amazing value!

Now, let's talk about my Modern Masters 2015 limited draft deck that led me to two wins, a loss, and a store prize.

TABLETOP TALES PRESENTS
MODERN MASTERS 2015 DRAFT: 
"BW SPIRITS OF ELESH NORN"

This deck's goal was to use removal-- from two Nameless Inversions to an Oblivion Ring-- until you can get a board presence. I figured I could either outrace my opponents or, if I got lucky, put down Elesh Norn and win that turn or the next with a board wipe into making all my creatures bonafide bombs with ease. I had success against slower decks and Elesh Norn was always a bomb but some small misplays still wound up costing me a match.

Monday, June 15, 2015

MUSIC MON! SHIA LEBEOUF IS THE VILLAIN IN OUR INTERNET GOD PANTHEON!


Okay. Hear me out here.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson. Morgan Freeman. Nic Cage. These are just a few members of the internet meme pantheon. Nic Cage is, clearly, the head of the pantheon-- the one true based god, the king, the Zeus. And if Nic Cage is our Zeus...

...Shia LaBeouf is some weird new internet meme god. Maybe I'm calling this a bit early but, with just a simple green screen, he managed to use his dark powers to capture the attention and imagination of an internet that, in many ways, is maligned against his recent career, appearance, and activities. Is he the meme god of the meme underworld?

Only time will tell.


How can you possibly make Schmoyoho better? How about by combining their power with the god-like vocal and comedic powers of Jontron! In the latest Songify the News, we get a look at the various Republican candidates joining the fray for the nomination to run in the 2016 presidential election (with some cameos from past runners) and tie it all together with catfish.

Catfish.


Last, but not least, something video game related in our musical triad, given this is E3 week (the holiest of week's on the Gamer Calendar-- like a combination of opening presents on Christmas and attending a Superbowl commercial presentation), with a remix of Jontron's Titenic episode featuring Schmoyoho.

Well done, lads. Well done.