Thursday, October 16, 2014

WORD OF THE DAY! 10/16/14!

juggernaut [juhg-ehr-nawt]
1. An large, overpowering, and destructive force or object such as a war, a giant battleship, or athletic team.
2. Anything requiring blind devotion or sacrifice.
3. Hinduism. (Captalized) Also called "Jagannath", an idol of Krishna, at Puri in Orissa, India, annually drawn on an enormous cart under whose wheels devotees are said to have thrown themselves to be crushed.

EX. An article about juggernauts without mentioning the X-Men (well, screwed that up)?

Today, we're talking about the latest League of Legends champion to be given a visual update and rework; Sion the Undead Juggernaut.

This isn't gonna be a full write-up but I will give you the basics of his new backstory/lore and a rundown of how amazing his new abilities are:

Sion was once a great Noxian hero. Legions of Damacian soldiers fled, cowered, and died at the edge of his axe. In his final and glorious moments, he choked the life from Jarvan the First. He was entombed in a memorial as a patron hero of the Noxian soldier.

Eventually, the Noxian leaders need a hero like Sion to inspire the troops. Rather than finding a new hero, they try to resurrect an old one with horrifying results. The resurrected Sion is a mindless machine of destruction that, when turned loose, could tear entire castles down with his incredible strength and ferocity. Yet, controlling this force was too difficult for the Noxians and their own troops fell under his axe. The sight of such a hero turned into a demonstrative tool horrified and disgusted the people. Would all of the dead be repurposed in such a fashion by the Noxian elite? The creature was locked away in his memorial, which became off limits for generations, until a new group of elite Noxians came together again with the same purpose.

This time Sion's mind was returned to him in a way that gave him more self-control and would allow him to become a Noxian symbol again. Except, this time, was he a symbol of Noxian dedication or the thoughtless ambition of the Noxian nobility? And is Sion's memories catching up with him and making realize what the Noxian elite have done to him and what they're doing to the people?

Sion's rework has turned him into a very strong, if not overpowered, jungle and top lane pick in the current meta.

His passive, Glory in Death, gives him the ability to turn a death into a trade or better. I've used Sion's passive to get a kill or double kill and I've seen some success in turning it into an ace or even pentakill. When playing against Sion, you have to be ready to get some distance between your team and his corpse right after getting the small victory less you become a victim.

His Q, Decimating Smash, is a cone-shaped ability that is slow but effective at picking up last hits on groups of minions, getting foes just out of range, or setting up combos. This ability really benefits from assistance since it relies on the foes not escaping the range of the ability before you get it charged up.

His W, Soul Furnace, helps Sion build health from farming (a great ability for a jungler or any tank), and gives him the ability to create a shield that, if not destroyed, can deal some serious damage to all nearby enemies. This is a decent ability for harass and survivability but I would worry about it last.

His E, Roar of the Slayer, is a skillshot and Sion's bread and butter ability; shooting out in a straight line, it hits the first target in the line and applies a slow (great for chasing down minions and setting up Q). If it hits a minion, if it hits a non champ it knocks them back, dealing damage to all foes in the path of the knock back and slowing them. This allows for great last hits, wave clear, and pokes against enemies. I've even used this ability to get the killing blow on enemy champs by knocking a minion into them.

His ult/R, Unstoppable Onslaught, lasts for up to 8 seconds. Sion let's out a roar that can be heard by all champions and barrels in the direction of your cursor at incredible speed. If you reactivate the ability, collide with an object, or hit an enemy champ, you will stop and unleash a devastating knock up and slow to the area around you. The best part is you ignore crowd control while the ult is active and the trickiest part is steering him down a lane or river or wherever. This ult allows for great ganks, sets up teamfights, saves fellow champs, allows you to get to objectives quickly and/or allows you to escape sticky situations.

All in all, Sion's new abilities and stats really do make him an unstoppable juggernaut on the Summoner's Rift.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014


First? We've got a condemnation of the most extreme members of the otaku subculture. There are otaku.

otaku [oh-ta-koo]
1. A Japanese term for a person with an obsessive interest, especially anime and manga.

And then there are weeaboos...

weeaboo [wee-uh-boo]
1. Slang. A non-Japanese person who is obsessed with Japanese culture, especially in a superficial way that focuses on anime, manga, and the tropes therein.

I may tread the waters of otakudom, from time to time and, while I've done some weeaboo-ish things before (every non-Japanese person who likes aspects of Japanese culture probably has), I would say that I am pretty opposed to the notion of being categorized as a weeaboo.

I like and am a consumer of Japanese culture, both pop culture and otherwise, and history. But I also have other interests like western cartoons, comic books, and fantasy/sci-fi/horror novels. I like some Japanese games, but I don't like JRPGs. I have taken classes in Japanese. But I have also taken classes in Spanish and German. To be fair, I did pursue Japanese with the most interest and considered moving to Japan for a career in education, but my degree is in History (with more of a focus on Modern Europe) and Creative Writing (though I did write one story set in Japan). I want to revisit Japan, but I also want to revisit Australia. I don't want to live in Japan though. I like living in the USA. And I could go on talking about how I like Japanese things but I am not obsessed. I appreciate but I am also critical of Japanese culture which is seemingly rife with xenophobia, loneliness, and anxiety.

Ultimately though, what sets me apart from the weeaboos is that I don't think that Japanese culture is superior to Western culture. I don't think I'm Japanese just because I can write in Hiragana and Katakana or say a few phrases. Most importantly, I don't own a katana. Freakin' weeaboos.

ADHD has done a lot of these buggers and I've shared a few. I think the only two I haven't shared are the Pokémon and Chip & Dale videos. I think I stopped sharing them because the humor was slightly repetitive with these series-- mix scientifically accurate facts, especially disgusting and disturbing ones about the animals present, with nostalgia. And animal penises.

"The gun is good. The penis is evil."

I am subscribed to at least three youtube channels that mainly feature AMVs and other VO work by actresses with voices like little Japanese girls. As a fan of voice artists and someone who is subscribed to about 100 channels, this is just a side-effect of my dangerous trek through the mountains of otakudom.

pomf [pawmf]
1. The sound effect made when someone falls back onto a bed.

This video will probably make you uncomfortable. It should. I makes me uncomfortable and yet I'm sharing it with you because that's what I do.

Everyday I stare into the abyss of the internet. My damnation is inevitable. I never stood a chance.

This has been another WTF Wednesday article, when and where we gape into the wound where the internet's heart used to be. Pomf.

Ya'll deserve a palate cleanser if you made it this far.

Nevermind. I give up. I'm gonna crawl under a rock now and die. WTF Japan indeed.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

WORD OF THE DAY! 10/14/14!

japanimation [ja-pan-i-mehy-shun]
1. A style of cartoon or animation made in Japan that focuses on futuristic themes and robotlike characters (or this definition I found on is hilariously Pablum).

EX. I stepped in about a gallon of dog pee this morning, so this is all you're getting. Japanimation. Tomorrow, expect horrible things. You deserve it. You know why.

Also, I've never watched Gravity Falls. Am I a terrible person? Yes.

Monday, October 13, 2014


I can't believe it has been a whole year since I GOT JINXED but here I am and another season of League is drawing to a close!

It seems rather portentous that, as I scramble to close in on a decent rank before the end of the season, that I find myself playing Jinx regularly again. The champ still has tons of flavor and competitive edge! (And, seriously, with Cait as my main, it is obvious that Piltover is my favorite part of the game's lore by a bit.)

It remains to be seen whether I'll achieve my goals in improving my league game, but you can bet ya'll be the first to know.

And as a way to celebrate the world championships, Riot got Imagine Dragons to collaborate on a special music video to hype up the fans for the big time games. Neat.


And yet, while I love League, I have to remember that it is a game that can bring you to tears of fury and desperation. This is a game that intimidates many newcomers, makes players uninstall and has probably caused a good deal of property damage or worse. Like anything competitive, it is a mix of the frustration of the climb with the gnawing trash talk of your opponents and, worse, troll teammates that drag you down.

Still, I haven't quit yet and have become a lot more mellow as I've played the game.

That's why I'm ready for ranked and for next season.

Here's to another year, Summoners.