Saturday, April 4, 2015


Lesson of this week's episode of Unbox-King?

While it is wise to preserve the value of collectibles by keeping them in the box, sometimes you gotta play with the toys you buy.

I take a look at the Star Wars Commemorative Collection: Episode III set and, as it, as far as I know, the first 3.75 inch figures I've ever had, I gotta admit I got pretty excited.

Friday, April 3, 2015


1st World Gamer Problems #1 Game Backlog.

Currently Playing: GTA V

On Hiatus: Metal Gear Solid Collection, Skyrim (I still haven't beaten the main story or completed the guild quests), Octodad: Dadliest Catch, Halo: Combat Evolved (360 version), Dishonored, Sniper Elite V2, Legend of Zelda: Windwaker HD, Super Metroid

Games to be Played:
Nintendo Wii-U- Pikmin 3, Super Mario 64, Megaman X, Megaman VII, Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
Nintendo 3DS- Legend of Zelda, Super Mario Bros. 3, Shovel Knight,
PC- Saint's Row 2, 3 & 4, Far Cry 4, Alien: Isolation, Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons, Deus Ex: Human Revolution, Elegy for a Dead World, Fall Out: New Vegas, Hotline: Miami, LA Noire, MGS V: Ground Zeroes, Shadowrun: Dragonfall, Super Meatboy, To the Moon, Valiant Hearts: The Great War, Walking Dead
Xbox 360- Sleeping Dogs, Witcher 2, The Raven, Red Faction Guerilla, Darksiders 2, Monaco, Dark Souls, Gears of War: Judgement, Wolfenstein,

I am gonna start a 3DS game and another full game today. I am leaning towards Super Mario Bros 3 and Far Cry 4.

How do you wind up with a game backlog like this? A most likely incomplete backlog? Well, I wait to buy games when they're cheap and tend to buy several at time. So, I have a ton of games. I also get free games thru xbox live gold. So, that explains why I have so many games but why haven't I played them? The biggest barrier to starting a new game for me is how much time I have to invest to get past the introduction/tutorial of the game.

After a long day, if I have the choice between playing League of Legends with friends or playing through a long tutorial, I'll usually pick the option that lets me be somewhat more social.

Birdman or The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance is one of those films that is an impressive film on all fronts: with fantastic writing, design, and execution from top to bottom, great performances from a cast that really gels with meta humor/drama of the concept, and delivery of a rather original, evocative, and clever concept. The film's meta concept-- basically having Michael Keaton, an aging actor most famous for donning the mask of Batman in the 90s, play an aging actor who is most famous for donning the mask of Birdman in the 90s-- is something that could only work with the self-awareness, talent and craft present. The film is a bit on the unusual side for a casual audience and, be warned, it has a lot more to do with theater than super heroes, but it certainly deserves the accolades it received as one of the best films of 2014.

Also, I would like to cosplay and have actually thought of doing a Harvey Birdman cosplay. Because that show is a Hanna Barbera cartoon fan's dream come true.

This week's FTW Friday ends with an appreciation of two very different takes on a hilarious anecdote from Game Grumps.

I love the way Brandon Turner draws his characters. So much so I want to buy one of his shirts!

And Kidd Cosmos animation has fantastic motion. Who else would animated such an impressive badonkadonk onto Mochi?

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

WORD OF THE DAY! 4/1/15!


We meets again, at last. The circus is now completed. When I lasted meeted ya'll, I was but a learnin o-possum. Now I am the blogger.

And I has returned to revenge of the jedi! Or was it the return of the sith? I never figured the difference between the two types of space samurais? They both use light swords and wear snuggies and use big words that I can't understands. Why aren't their any o-possum jedis? That's reese's  discrimination! I want a Reese's Peanut Butter cup or I'm not finishin' mah dang ol' review...

I gots mah snacks. Now I can gets back to brass tax.

I have been commiserated into reviewin' a new film from the brilliant mind of Jorge Lukas. I gots the Laser Disc in mah P.O. Box (mah dumpster) and I have been assured the new film, while not continuin' the heart breakin' tragedy of the Fett Clan, is the epic concussion to the original Star Wars trilogy.

Let's talk about revenge of the something!

The movie starts like a vidja game that I can't afford cuz the hyoomins at Gamestop won't let me trade in any more copies of Fifty Cent: Blood on the Sand.

Annie, the feller with the awesome rat tail and now more awesome mullet, and Ben Kenobi, a British secret gay, are flyin' around at the speed of sound, got places to goes, gotta follow their rainbows and they save one of the clone babies of Jar-Jar Fetts that all growed up and joined the United States Space Army (I guess). They have an important mission to save President Palpatine from the space terrorists. This is President Palpatine.

He is a trustworthy candidate on the Space Republican ticket. He is a good ol' boy from the South of Naboo, a self-made man who rose to the top of the ladder by steppin' on the little guy, and he is a snazzy dresser. He is pro-clone military, anti-space climate change, and he is the only man in the way of Space Obama!

This is Space Obama:

He is one scary mother f***er!

If ya'll remember mah last review, he done kilt Jar-Jar Fett with that giant purple light sword he likes to swing around town like some sorta pimp! He wants to be space president and cure diabetus through space obamacare-- I like mah diabetus!

It helps me sleeps after a big meal and I couldn't roll down hills to gets away from hawks if his space wife got rid of mah favorite foods! I can't wait to see him gets what he deserves!

President Palpatine has been kidnapped by the robot a-rabs that are led by General Osama Bin Laden but this time, cuz he done got shot in the head, he is like a giant skeleton robot man with four arms and light swords and he sounds like he has a cold.

He runs like a big ol' chicken when he sees Annie and Ben Kenobi! Ben and Annie try to get President Palpatine back onto Air Force One so they can fly him back to the city planet but they're stopped by the Colonel.

I don't really get the point of the next scene cuz I mean the Colonel works for President Palpatine, right? The President gave him exclusive rights to open up space KFC/Taco Bell restaurants all over crescent city planet in exchange for the secret recipe's eleven herbs and spices and all of the Doritos Locos Taco cheese powder he can eat.

So, why is he workin' with the space terrorists? Maybe it's like a test for Annie to prove he is man enough to become the Space Vice President? I dunno.

Well, the Colonel whoops some ass up like a ten piece combo meal right up until the point where Annie gets the upper hand by cuttin' off his hands! President Palpatine has been watchin' the whole thing and I'm sure is thinkin' "this is rad but how can it get more rad?"

Oh that's right! If he could create a white light sword, give Annie an extra arm, and have him take down the samurai hippies back on crescent roll planet. Well, he figures he can't go playin' god and instead to just make Annie a good ol' fashion Walker: Texas Ranger style 'Murican badass! And what's more 'Murican than cutting off the Colonel's head?

Attaboy Annie!

And with that Annie realizes that President Palpatine is prolly his best bet if he ever wants to become Space Vice President and President Palpatine has found his runnin' mate in the next campaign.

I mean, think about, Annie is pretty durn handsome, he is a vetran war hero in the clone wars, and he can shoot the eye off a womp rat and they're hardly bigger than two meters (whatever that means but it means shootin' animals that ain't o-possums and I prove of that). He is a total maverick that the Republican party has been lookin' for and the best vice presidential candidate since the Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palpatine!

But let's stop talkin' bout politickin' and get back to the story of two good ol' boys.

Annie and Palpatine find out they have a lot in common: they both hate space hippies. Ever since the first movie Space Obama and the other samurais have been holdin' Annie back from his true potential and, even if they did give him that awesome rat tail, they're goin' to use Space Obamacare to take over the galaxy and turn it into a big nanny state! Like Ms. Doubtfire but less funny! And that's not mah 'murica!

So, President Palpatine promises to use space prayer healin's to save Annie and his baby mama's baby and Annie promises to be Palpatine's business partner. What could possibly go wrong?

While Annie holds down the fort, Ben Kenobi rides a space horse like a space cowboy and goes on a Call of Duty mission to the home planet of the Space A-rabs and finds that they're all talkin' bout goin' to some volcano planet (wait until ya'll see how that goes for 'em) and Osama-borg is struttin' around like he owns the place. So Ben Kenobi makes the most 'Murican decision of his life and drops in, litrolly, in the middle of the space arabs and robot terrorist with his light sword!

And shoots Osama right thru the heart!

I take back the "secret gay" thing about Ben Kenobi. He is a good shot and handsome feller. Like a blonder Burt Reynolds.


Turns out that the space hippies wanna take President Palpatine to one of their space Obamacare death panels and Preisdent Palpatines like "not in mah 'murica!" and cuts down like a half-dozen of the thugs before facin' off against Space Obama himself! I gotta say that up until this point I kinda figured the President to be too rich and white and important to get his own hands dirty but, bein' a real 'murican, he defends himself with his concealed weapon-- a badass red light sword!

'ventually, Space Obama seems to get the upperhand on the President until...


'cept...unfortunately...Space Obama is too strong!

Annie arrives just in time to watch his best friend get disfigured by Space Obama and he would've cut his head off too but!!

Annie turns his back to the commies of the space samurai and disarms Space Obama right before, with a final push of faith, President Palpatine lightnins Space Obama out the window and avenges Jar-Jar Fett!

With Space Obama out of the way, President Palpatine can declare himself President fer life and makes Anakin like his Vice President and they kill all the space hippies. Even the youngins but they was already turned to the gay side and were card carryin' space Demmy-crats so it is probobolly for the best, right?

At least they're with Space Jesus now.

I thought the movie was over.

I thought I could go back to mah dumpster where they throw out the black trash bags of popcorn from the movie theater after it becomes so butter that it is more butter than corn but I was wrong. Then I would fall into a diabetus coma and never wakes up-- to sleep perchance to dream-- and become a space samurai mahself in the next life. But...

there was still one more scene that I woulda sword came right out of a gawdang Michael Bay movie left to watch! Ben Kenobi vs. Annie Skywalker!

I gotta say, while I found it real sad that Annie got burneded to death, I still was on the edge of mah seat and I'm usually on the edge of mah seat cuz the movie theater seats is too big for an o-possum--even an o-possum with diabetes! Although, I gotta say, the part with Ben Kenobi sayin' he loved Annie makes me re-retract the statement about him bein' a secret gay. I hope he gets the space death penalty for what he done did!

Annie ain't really death tho! He was just playin' possum and pretty good at it too! Ben Kenobi leaves his bestest friend to die in a volcano, like ya do, and Palpy shows up to save him by takin' him to the doctor. 'cept the space doctors are worse than real doctors! His wife dies and he becomes a space frankenstein! I cry evertim.

And I guess that's its for the Star Wars trilogy. It seems like they leave it more open-ended than mah favorite dumpster in town. Guess that'll do, pigs. I spose I'll be leavin' here with a bitter sweet adoo since there ain't no more movies left to review next year.

What's that? Episode one, two and three are just the prequels? What's a prequel? This better not have nothin' to do with prequel rights!? Oh. Then Senor Jorge made more Star Wars movies? You mean...

...there is another.

Monday, March 30, 2015



A couple days late is better than not at all, right?

And, to be fair, I had a very busy March:
  • I went on a week long trip to Florida for my friend's wedding with two of my best buddies and it was the first road trip I ever drove!
  • The trip was a blast: I got to spend a day in Disney World's Magic Kingdom with four of my best friends, enjoyed the 80 degree weather during the Bachelor Party, got nauseated at Busch Gardens, looked dapper at my friend's wedding, had lunch with my Grandpa and step-uncle and I can't wait to go on another trip soon!
  • I beat Link Between Worlds and Shadow of Mordor, I binge watched The Boondocks as I got back into GTA V, I played the beta of Heroes of the Storm, and I increased my Amiibo count dramatically thanks to Mario Party 10 and irresponsible compulsions!
  • I finally got to run D & D again and played Vampire the Masquerade.
  • I watched Samurai Cop. Seriously, watch Samurai Cop.
Now, let's talk about Loot Crate:

Loot Crate is a subscription based service where members pay a fee (based on their subscription plan) to receive a themed mystery box every month in the mail (last month's theme, pictured above, was "Villains") filled with nerdy products from companies like Nintendo, DC, Marvel, Capcom and much more. The contents of the box usually contain things like exclusive figures, a t-shirt, a magnet, pin/s, posters, comics, books, toys, and pretty much everything you can think of from "dragon-flavored" Jerky in April's "Dragon" Loot Crate to Deadpool socks (pictured above).

This is the perfect surprise for self-professed nerds that love cool stuff and weird stuff alike.

If you're lucky, you might even be the lucky member to get the monthly Mega Crate which always has a value of $750 or more!

And so, for as low as $11.67 + $6 SH, you can become a Looter too! Plus, if you use any of the various codes you can find online, you can get discounts. 

This is my eighth Loot Crate review. If you wanna check out last month's review for FEB 2015 "Play" Loot Crate, check out the link HERE.

This month's theme of Covert promised James Bond, Agents of Shield, and Orphan Black paraphernalia. Let's see how it delivered-- was my interest shaken or stirred?


I can't think of a better way to start a week that promises to have some more Star Wars related content than by sharing this awesome animation project set to a heavy metal track!

I can't believe I forgot to write an article about Bard, League of Legends' newest champion, but I have a few excuses and reasons I think I made that mistake:

1. I was on vacation during his hype build.
2. It just completely slipped my mind.
3. While a conceptually fascinating champion, his execution left me with something to be desired.

Yeah, #3 is a bit harsh but I can put it this way; usually new League champs aren't banned by teams to keep their own teammates from picking them! Bard is a highly mobile support character with only one low damaging ability and low survivability but with high mobility and utility and some strong auto attacks and CC....IN LATE GAME. When a champion isn't viable until you've already lost bot lane and the enemy bot lane and jungle have feasted upon you and your lane partner, you know something is a bit amiss.

I hope this Miyazaki-esque champion gets the buffs he deserves to be a more competitive champion at every ELO.

This newest Game Grumps remix has a delightful mix of Dan Avidan's delightful marine biologist impression against the grating, nasal and high-pitched voice of Arin Hanson's grandson character that sounds like he should be slapped. I'm sorry. Too far. Too bad. Deal with it... AMERICA!

Oh and the last video below? I've been debating whether to put it in the Music Monday or WTF Wednesday category, because it fits both. So be warned that there are very inappropriate lyrics in this professional level musical parody. You have been warned!