1. A very young child, especially an illegitimate bastard or poorly brat.
EX. Oh, the Pokémon Daycare. Is there anywhere more responsible for unwanted, unnecessary, and unseemly procreation in the history of fiction? How many unwanted bits of data have you churned out only to sit in the PC box (might as well be abandoned), be released into the wild (basically abandoned), or hatched, evaluated, and then, far more often than not, abandoned? What happens to these bantlings born of abominable unions between witless parents driven by the magnetism of being of the same egg group to create new life in a multiplayer environment now, thanks to the wonders of Wonder Trade, bloated with mediocre Pokémon?
There was a time when anyone would be happy to receive a Bulbasaur or even an Evee. Natures, IVs, EVs were all extraordinarily niche concerns to only the most hardcore master. But, thanks to the evolution of the sixth generation, the process of making one's Pokémon perfect is stream-lined enough that anything less than a perfect Pokémon is undesirable. Now, unless their newly adopted bantling off of wonder trade is an uber-mon, trainers either essentially delete these unwanted hatchlings from their PC box or send them to a new foster parent.
Damn you Brock.
The Floor Is Now Lava. A slight NSFW, as his comics commonly involve adult themes and crude imagery that some may find more offensive than funny.
For a more heartwrenching/warming look at the perils of Pokémon breeding and wonder trading, please check out the following comic about a Bulbasaur bantling by Rolos AKA Renee P.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
DUMBLEDORE SHOT FIRST PRESENTS
THE 2013 YEARLY ROUND-UP!
2013 is coming to a close and it was another transformative year for Dumbeldore Shot First; this was a whole year without school but, rather than seeing the blog become bloated with articles, I found that less is more. After consistently writing about a dozen articles a week for two years straight, save a few weeks here and there, I've come to the conclusion that half that many is more than enough. Quality over quantity has become my mantra. And yet, I still had a numbers problem when deciding what to write for my final article of the year.
At first, I thought "Top Ten" sounds good...until I realize that I wrote and published 448 articles over the course of the last 52 weeks. Then I thought it would be fun to trim it down to about 24 articles as a nod to my 24th birthday (Dec. 31st, today), but that was still not enough. I probably had about 60 articles but, after trimming away a lot of Pokémon articles, the total remaining on my list came out the convenient double of 24... 48.
So, you were getting the Top 48 articles, in chronological order, of 2013 but instead are getting something pretty damn close; a year I couldn't have survived without my friends, family, and the subjects found within these articles that cover every from Call of Cthulu to MtG Commander and videogamedunkey to a variety of board games. This was a year dominated by Pokémon X & Y and filled with hundreds of hours of League of Legends.
All in all, I think you'll be excited to take a look back with me and forgive me for not being able to chip away more articles from these lists. Part two can be found HERE.
Monday, December 30, 2013
This is the game I was most excited to find under my Christmas tree. I had bought a Wii-U for cheap and there were two games I knew that I needed-- Super Mario 3D World and Windwaker HD. While I've been waiting a long time to play Windwaker, I'm more excited to play 3D World. After exposing my friends to the chaos that is New Super Mario Bros. Wii-U, I realize that four player 3D platforming would be the best gift I get could myself or my friends.
Also, the soundtrack is phenomenal.
An awesome song you'd love to hear played at your local tavern and a hilarious music video with all of the fixings of such an experience make for a winning combination. My favorite part is clearly the wizard.
Respect the beard.
Speaking of respect, Steve Irwin was a loving father, an inspiring activist and an amazing example of the human animal. He introduced a whole generation to animals and much of the world to Australia with his educational show. This is a guy that you can't look at without seeing someone who enjoys life so much and wants to share nature so much that he won't let a little thing like fear or pain get between him and the animals or the audience and the experience. Most people don't even realize how important his work was to creating awareness and his legacy will leave a huge impact on conservation in Australia for years to come.
The world needs more "Crocodile Hunters" and less Swam People. That's all I'm saying.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
TABLETOP TALES PRESENTS
Designers: Keith Baker
Artist: Scott Reeves
Publishers: Atlas Games
Type: Card Game
Themes: Gothic Horror, Story-Telling, Strategy
# of Players: 2-4
Ages: 13& Up
Time to Play: 30-60 min.
Approx. Price: $15-25