Thursday, May 1, 2014

WORD OF THE DAY! 5/1/14!


beefcake [beef-kehyk]
1. Photographs of nearly nude young men in magazines or the like, posed to display their muscular bodies.
2. A muscular individual, usually defined by their vanity, posing, etc.
3. Anything related to nearly nude young men displaying their muscular bodies.

EX. Spoony seems to have found a cheesy swords and sorcery movie lost to the ripped ripples in the space time vortex created whenever they make an Expendables movie: The Barbarians, a 1987 American-Italian film starring the muscular "tit"ular "Barbarian Brothers" (Peter and David Paul) in a quest of luke warm vengeance, goofy hijinks, and more beefcake than every episode of Epic Meal Time combined. 
It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry, it'll make you...uh, whatever THIS IS?

You can watch the full movie HERE.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014


Seriously, the animator and comedian collective that makes up the Nacho Punch channel produces some of the funniest videos online, but you wouldn't know that by looking at the views on some of their videos. This love letter to the Harry Potter and Cyberpunk film genre is both simultaneously cool and silly. And the worst part? It's not real. Seriously, who wouldn't want to watch a hardcore anime re-imagining of Harry Potter or an anime set in the Potter-verse?

The recent Grumpisodes, especially in the Pokémon Fire Red series, have had a lot of sexual tension between our hosts, Danny and Arin. Between Arin's senseless and never ceasing sexual advances and Danny being a "sexy widdle baby", there is more sexual tension between these two than all of the monotheistic religious leaders being trapped in a giant elevator between Heaven & Hell after the apocalypse.

It has been a hot minute since I've seen a trailer for a Japanese film that both made me say "What the fuck did I just watch?" and "I need to watch it again!" The CGI animation on the monsters is both weird, funny, and blazingly well-integrated into the world the director has created. I dunno about you guys, but I kinda wanna see the end result.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

WORD OF THE DAY! 4/29/14!

たけしの挑戦状 / Takeshi's Challenge [tah-keh-shee-no-cho-sen-jo/ tah-keh-shees-chal-enj]
1. Video game. A Japanese action-adventure game made for the Nintendo Famicom (Nintendo Entertainment System) by Taito Corperation and the Japanese film director, comedian, singer, actor, film editor, presenter, screenwriter, author, poet, painter, and one-time video game designer Beat Takeshi (Takeshi Kitano). The game requires the player to perform a specific and complex series of tasks to finish the nearly impossible experience.

EX. Jontron decided to review something legendary; Takeshi's Challenge.

A game made by this guy:

Beat Takeshi is best known as a TV host and entertainer in Japan, but in America he is best known for his role in Battle Royale (2000). But in the film world he is best known for his gritty yakuza films, filled with long shots that seem to have little nothing going on but are filled with tension, and the nihilistic but somehow affectionate approach in his story-telling. He has been called the "true successor to Akira Kurosawa by more than one film critic. In short, Takeshi Kitano is an intensely interesting and talented artist. He is also the designer of one of the most depressing and bizarre video games ever made.

To quote Jontron's synopsis of the game: "This is a Nintendo game in which you quit your job, divorce your wife, and go treasure hunting... Ten out of ten. Ten out of ten. Hundred out of a hundred. Best game. Best game."

Make the ringing of the pachninko balls and scraping of the shamisen stop!

Monday, April 28, 2014


I've always wanted to play Shadow of the Colossus, and have wanted to do it since I got my PS3 a few years ago, but I've never gotten around to picking it and Ico up in their HD collection. Watching Dan and Arin slay the colossi has definitely reminded me of that desire, but I still need to pick up my copy.

Will I play it alone? Or will I play it alone? Or will I never soar onward?

Only time will tell.

Atpunk is awesome.

I already shared another video about this Starbomb song but I would be lying if I said I hadn't shared multiple iterations of the same theme in the past and this certainly deserves a little bit of time from your eye balls and ears.

On a related note, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night would be a fun Let's Play, but I worry it would take too long. Thoughts?

As someone who advocates people exposing themselves to a variety of differing and fringe views on a particular subject or the world, I highly recommend reading the comments on this satirical video with somewhat ridiculous views ranging from comparing Putin to Hitler to claiming that this is offensive to people arguing Putin is at least better than Obama. Personally, I'm pretty sure Putin is a cruel and calculating former KGB agent/sociopath with machinations on dominating those within Russia's sphere of influence as much as possible without starting Cold War 2 or World War 3. I like to think that. I like to think he doesn't have world domination on the mind.

P.S. Who the heck hosts an Olympics games, an event that is supposed to symbolize good will, cooperation, friendly competition, etc. between all nations, and then immediately turns around and annexes a large territory of a neighboring country?

Well, time to fly...