Friday, December 5, 2014

WORD OF THE DAY! 12/5/14! (LoL)

revengence [re-ven-juns]
1. The infliction of punishment in return for an act of wrong doing, retribution, vengeance, revenge, etc, especially with great violence or to an extreme degree.

EX. We're back with a new League of Legends article and this time we're back with a vengeance. Again. With extreme prejudice. Again.

With a revengeance.

So, let's take a look at the 1atest champion from the Shadow Isles, Kalita the Spear of Vengeance!

Long ago, even before the Ruin of the Blade King, Kalista was a legendary warrior who attempted to avert a great tragedy and was betrayed and slain by those she trusted most. She became an eternal spirit of retribution with a particular hatred towards the liars and traitors of Runeterra. Victims to such betrayal can beseech the aid of Kalista for a steep price: their souls.

But who can put a price on vengeance?

Kalista is a unique marksman with a high skill level cap; with the abilities to chase down her prey, escape/kite potential gankers, and her ability to use her teammates to achieve an end makes her another interesting addition to the League.

Kalista's Passive, Martial Poise, is a two-edged spear tip-- on one hand, the innate part of the passive makes Kalista unable to cancel her auto attacks once she begins her wind up but also allows her to perform a small dash every time she performs an auto attack or uses her Q that can even get her over small walls.

Also, her passive gives her a unique item for free: The Black Spear that, when picked up by an ally of her choice, allows them to become Oathsworn. Her Oathsworn teammate has an interaction with three of her abilities and, after going back to the base, she can rebuy the item, for free, to pick a new Oathsworn.

Her Q, Pierce, has no interaction with her Oathsworn but is one of her most useful abilities; a straight line skill shot that can be used to poke down opponents and secure last hits, it will also pass on the stacks of Rend (check out her E) onto the next target if she scores a kill with Pierce.

Her W, Sentinel, has a passive that gives her and her Oathsworn bonus magic damage for attacking the same opponent. It also has an activated ability that sends out a ghost-like minion to do 7 laps over a short distance. If the ghost or "soul sentinel" runs into an enemy it lets out a shriek, reveals them, and disappears. This is a useful ability for checking bushes or preventing ganks but is vulnerable to attacks from behind and can be destroyed with just two auto attacks from behind without revealing the enemy attacking it.

This ability gives Kalista the skills she needs to deal tons of damage with her Oathsworn and gives her the utility to survive given her vulnerability to ganks.

Her E, Rend, has a passive that puts a stack of Rend on a target for four seconds every time she autoattacks of Qs a target enemy. She can stack them on multiple enemies and they remain on target as long as she reattacks that target within 4 seconds. This means there really is no limit to how many stacks she can apply.

When she activates E, she deals damage based on each stack of Rend in her nearby targets and applies a slow. This secures kills, last hits, escapes, chases and generally makes Kalista one of the most dangerous ADCs in the game-- whether laning or in a team fight.

Finally, Kalista's Ult is somewhat strange but useful; Fate's Call makes her Oathsworn pull towards Kalista, making them untargetable for a few seconds, before throwing them back in either a targeted direction or the direction Kalista is facing. The Oathsworn, once thrown, stops at the first enemy and knocks up all others around them to allow for great engages and disengages.

And she has a great alternate skin with the Bloodmoon theme that makes her look like a mix between an oni and a shinobi.

All in all, Kalista may not be able to save her lane or her Oathsworn team mate, but you'll be damn sure she'll avenge it!

Wednesday, December 3, 2014


I wake up and pull out my phone. I've just finished sleeping for about four hours after an eight hour shift in the mines of Tahr-jeh, climbing up and down perilous ladders, taking boxes out of some holes and putting other boxes into some and other holes. The holiday spirit is upon us and the holiday spirit is oppressive. Glitter everywhere.

The Tricorn appears on my youtube subscription. Thank you Tricorn. Thank you.

I need to play another Assassin's Creed game, since I haven't played any of the games besides the first title, which was fairly innovative, and Brotherhood, which was silly fun, because I get two accounts from my fellow gamers:

1. The game is great. The co-op provides hours of fun, the story built since Blackflag is engaging, and the setting is cool.

2. The game is okay, except the fact that it is another glitchy unfinished Ubisoft game that fails to live up to the hype and was shoved out the door, with an embargo on reviews, to screw over the fans.

As for my feelings on the franchise, I wish they'd at least space out the sequels in the series or, at the very least, to allow themselves time to ship a complete game.

Oh, and as for the games I played in the series, they were fun but the gameplay was often teeth grindingly repetitive and the story was a mix of dull and confusing.

Sorry. Well, who am I apologizing to? Only like six people read these articles. I hate my millennial mid-twenties cynicism. Pout.

I wish they would reimagine my favorite shows in more creative ways, rather than simply toyifing my childhood nostalgia to turn into cheap pieces of plastic without regard for good writing, good character designs, or anything resembling creativity.

I would watch an HBO animated series.

On a similar note, check out Bojack Horseman on Netflix. It is a hoot and a half.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

WORD OF THE DAY! 12/2/14!

teaser [teez-er]
1. A short scene or highlight from a film, or made for a film, in order to attract an audience's attention and/or create buzz for the film's upcoming release.

EX. Watch the teaser before I talk about it... 

Yeah, it's a pretty brief teaser. Then again, teasers are usually brief. This teaser is especially efficient at creating buzz-- it leaves fan excited and talking without giving enough away to give anyone a definite reason to shout betrayal.

Well, except that other Star Wars fans have already picked apart the five or so elements of the teaser, so let's see what I think about them... SPOILER WARNING!

#1 A black guy wearing Storm Trooper armor on a desert planet? This could mean a few things but let's get over with people freaking out over there being a black guy in storm trooper armor. By this period in the Star Wars Universe, Storm Troopers are mostly conscripts and other hire-ons, as opposed to clones, and therefore storm troopers can look anyway J J wants. "Deal with it."

But there are a lot of possibilities: he could be a good guy character disguised as a jedi (like in a New Hope) or, perhaps even more exciting, he is a storm trooper that becomes a jedi after "the Force Awakens"! That would make for a cool character arc!

#2 Random chick on pill shaped vehicle racing through the desert. Probably another new protagonist. Possibly Han & Leia's daughter?

#3 Droid with ball-shaped body. Fun and neat design idea. Probably gonna make a million new toys and be our R2D2 JR. Or R2JARJAR. I hope not.

#4 The Storm Troopers on a drop ship. The Empire are our villains? Yes. And there is a storm trooper that looks a little short? Hm. Refer back to #1

#5 X-Wings about to have a dog fight over a big body of water! Fun!

#6 Millennium Falcon being chased by TI-Fighters over dunes of desert planet! Crowd goes wild!

#7 Guy in all black walking through trees on a snowy planet? Probably a sith or sith wannabe? Maybe the guy narrating? Maybe--


And that lightsaber could be improved with some silly extra parts.


Monday, December 1, 2014


The good news is that the internet did not choose puppetcide. Or is it?

If you don't know, Don't Hug Me I'm Scared, is an educational puppet show made for children that mixes stop motion animation, puppetry, and the combined nightmares of a thousand orphans on LSD laced with the tears of the last Wupnubchub Indian.

It is horrible. It is terrible. It is love.

And love is the subject of the first episode of Don't Hug Me I'm Scared since the kickstarter met it's goals.

It loves up to my dread and expectactions.

Enjoy. I think.