Saturday, November 9, 2013

TABLETOP TALES! COMMANDER FORMAT! (WORD OF THE DAY! 11/9/13!)

Commander [kuh-man-der]
noun
1. Magic the Gathering. Originally known as EDH, literally "Elder Dragon Highlander", this is an increasingly popular multiplayer format in Magic the Gathering that centers around a legendary creature called "The Commander".

EX. The Commander 2013 product hit the streets last Friday and, since then, between myself and my friend Matt, we've picked up all five of the decks with three copies of the same deck, one is a gift to a third party, and two copies of another deck.

These purchases seemed necessary because the last time the Commander product hit the streets it was a limited run and it quickly became a coveted collector's item. The price quickly rocketed as players of Commander, and other older formats that could use the cards competitively, scooped up the cards for themselves. This time I made sure I was one of these collectors, for better or worse, before it was too late.

After all, I still regret that I didn't invest in 2011 in these products, but I had just started playing and it seemed pretty overwhelming. While I'll admit that Commander can be overwhelming, given it can deal with cards from the last 20 years of products stretched out in 100 card minimum decks amongst, usually, at least three players but as many as you can get together to play, but I think the basic rules of the format are pretty easy to learn, for veterans, easy to break.

I actually got around to playing my first true Commander game yesterday and, to be frank because I plan to expand on the experience later, it was a ton of fun.

For you my magic playing comrades, I will break down the basics of the rules and provide examples to illustrate the more nuanced parts of the rules.

If you're not interested in the rules but still want some Magic the Gathering content, continue on to the bottom of the article for some more excellent content.

Friday, November 8, 2013

WORD OF THE DAY! 11/8/13!

exile [ex-ahyl]
verb
1.To banish, kick-out, or expel (a person) from a country or place.
2. To separate someone/something from their place or things.
noun
3. To be expelled from one's homeland.
4. To be banished from a place.
5. To be seperated from one's place or things.
6. To be expelled for a long time.

EX. Blogged not, yesterday. Into exile I must go. Failed I have.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

WTF WED! IT'S MADE OUT OF F***ING POKÉMON & CHIN CHIN !?


"IT'S MADE OUT OF F***ING COOKIES!"


We're dispensing two different flavors of Pokémanz this week: a sweet abridged short based on the Pokémon Origins miniseries, from Octopimp, and Esquirebob's latest collaboration with Egoraptor that properly parodies the saccharine puppy/kitten documentaries they play on Animal Planet to pander to little girls, grandmas, and everyone else.

Also, I thought you could use a little bit of a stabalizer between OMG BISCOFF and the latest messed up night terror from the orifices of Filthy Frank.


This really speaks for itself. Filthy Frank feels like he is being unnecessarily harassed by a parody of the homophobic black guy stereotype, calls upon the powers of Chin Chin, his eldritch god & life partner, and summons forces beyond his and Paul Abdul's control. I apologize in advance, but I'm not sorry.

WORD OF THE DAY! 11/6/13!


(魔法少女) mahou shoujo / majokko [ma-hoh-shoh-joh / mah-joh-koh]
noun
1. Japanese. Literally translates as "Magical Girl", it refers to the classic and popular sub-genre of Japanese manga/anime that feature young girls using magic. The common tropes in this sub-genre include children and teenagers using magic to fight evil, magical transformation sequences, talking animal sidekicks, and themes of friendship & love between the characters. The most well-known of this genre in America is the Sailor Moon anime.

EX. Hey guys! Cartoon Network just aired a new animated TV show created by Rebecca Sugar, one of the most celebrated writers and storyboard artists of Adventure Time behind the Emmy nominated episodes "It Came From the Nightosphere" and "Simon & Marcy."

The show is called Steven Universe and takes many of it's cues from mahou shoujo as it depicts a world threatened by evil and protected by the intergalactic majokko and intergalactic warriors with special gems embedded in their bodies to summon magical weapons and save the day. The members of the group include:

The logical and strategically minded Pearl.

The care-free and wild Amethyst.

The strong and disciplined Garnet.

 And Steven.

Um, he is still in training. But really, I don't think I should have to go any further to sell you on this show; check it out at the link at the top of the article.

The First Episode is about Steven's favorite ice cream sandwich being discontinued. This is still a better premise than most episodes of Sailor Moon. Think about that.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

WEEKLY ROUND-UP! OCT. 28- NOV. 3 2013!

JACK-O'-LANTERN JAPES WEEK!

7. WORD OF THE DAY! 11/3/13! Bowser.

This funny little animation comes from the same guy who made the wonderful Super Mario Busters mash-up.

6. WORD OF THE DAY! 10/31/13! Craven.

There was so much worthy Halloween content this year that I had to split it up between the cream of the crop and the still tasty crumbs left over from the harvest.

5. WORD OF THE DAY! 11/2/13! "Check yourself, before you wreck yourself."

You heard the man-- er, alien...well, he is a Krogan.



4. MUSIC MON! A LITTLE LATE TO GET LUCKY!

This was a nifty little collection of various little mash-ups I had collected this year of the much beloved pop hit Daft Punk's Get Lucky. Not much else needs to be said.

3. WORD OF THE DAY! 11/1/13! Goosebumps.

Jontron got his own special Word of the Day article because his content releases are always a special occasion worth celebrating.

2. WORD OF THE DAY! 10/28/13! Picaresque.

Well, with my waking hours now between 5 PM and 10 AM, things are definitely getting a little crazy with me trying to adjust to the shift in my schedule.

1. WTF WED! HALLOWEEN EDITION: FAIRIES, FURBIES, FAPPIN', FELT LOBSTERS, & FELINE VIOLENCE!


WORD OF THE DAY! 11/5/13!

ESP [ee-es-pee]
acronym
1. "Extrasensory perception": perception or communication outside of normal sensory capability, as in telepathy and clairvoyance.

EX. There is one Pokémon in X & Y that has captured the mixture of cute and horrifying that makes for a perfect internet meme with the ESP themed Espurr that is every creepy psychic kid from a crappy sci-fi or horror flick mixed with a cat. And just look at his Pokédex entry:

From X "The organ that emits its intense psychic power is sheltered by its ears to keep power from leaking out."
From Y " It has enough psychic energy to blast everything within 300 feet of itself, but it has no control over its power."

Once again, this bit of horror is brought to you by the drunken psychopaths they hire to write the Pokédex entries.

Monday, November 4, 2013

MUSIC MON! BEST VIDEO GAME DAYMAN NINJA SEX PARTY IN PHILLY!


This is a bit of a rush job since I've gotta work every day this week and even picked up an extra shift, so I'm doing this in the time before my friends show up for Sunday's meeting of the Action Society that, as of typing this, I have an hour to clean up the game room, shave/trim my beard, do some dishes and finish up this article. Life is crazy, but the blog goes on!

The montage posted above is an actually amusing little bit of work from Dunkey showing off some of the worst songs in video game history. We spend a lot of time thinking about the good songs in video games but we rarely touch on all the garbled garbage out there.


Then, we've got something that is very simple to understand: it's a bunch of Japanese children singing Dayman from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Never before did I think I'd hear a song written by a silver spray paint sniffing illiterate and manic sociopath sung by a choir of children that look confused about the entire situation but...here we are. Enjoy.



Ninja Brian and Danny Sexbang really take their newest single into places that, honestly, I think we've all seen them go before-- Danny wears inappropriate clothes, Ninja Bri kills internet celebrities, and a hot chick looks uncomfortable-- but I still enjoyed several of the moments, especially those featuring other members of the Game Grumps team.

I feel a storm a brewing between the Game Grumps & Steam Train... brace yourself, a superband is coming!

WORD OF THE DAY! 11/4/13! POKÉBLOG X #3 FROM VANIVILLE TO SANTALUNE!


embarkation [em-bark-ehy-shun]
noun
1. The act, process, or instance of beginning a journey, enterprise, or business or boarding a vehicle.

EX. Alright folks, time for embarkation of my Pokémon journey in Kalos; the first leg of our quest to become a Pokémon master, or discover whatever it is we wish to discover here, according to the very supportive and paternal Professor Sycamore:

Professor Sycamore is arguably the most shipped Pokémon Professor of all time and we haven't even gotten to know him through the anime yet. He is filled with passion, sensitivity, and even a little ennui that makes him a very French and very romantic individual with an idealized view of the world that shapes your journey. While other Professors have very specific goals in mind for their proteges, Sycamore wants his students to follow their hearts, achieve their dreams, and join the adult world once they're ready.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

WORD OF THE DAY! 11/3/13!

bowser [bow-zir]
noun
1. Military slang. A fuel tanker for military vehicles and aircraft.
2. Australian slang. A gasoline pump at a fuel station.
3. Mean slang. A person with an ugly face, especially described as dog-like.

EX. Seriously, the only thing missing from this one is Bowser AKA King Koopa, but I have a feeling that he'll show up as Jabba the Hut in Episode VI: Return of the Plumber (just guess the title--I'm probably wrong).