Saturday, October 15, 2011


Fantasy Friday

I play Dungeons and Dragons every Friday. That is to say I run a 4th Edition Dungeons & Dragons campaign every Friday set in the country of Beniro. As such I've decided to chronicle the hero's adventures from the perspective of different characters my friends play. Each week and each short chapter I will rotate the perspective so you can get a feel for all the characters. I will try my best to capture my friend's characters and the adventures they go on. I might change some elements but know I do it for the story.

A lot of the art I will be using is not credited, so if you know the artist, tell me and I'll label it appropriately.
CHAPTER 1- Lorafaine 
CHAPTER 2- Aramil
CHAPTER 3 - Ryjac
CHAPTER 4- Lucius
CHAPTER 5- Nadarr


Lora Faine leaned against the stone wall behind her, the arch over the great iron doors of the Undergate overhead, and the sound of footfalls, clacking down the street, signaled she was going to be joined soon by that dragonborn knight. She had been waiting under the arch for a while and had almost drifted off to sleep. Lora Faine was the first of the adventurers to make it to the arch and, besides the gate guards who sat around a brazier filled with smoldering logs. The druid had begun to worry about who would show up first. She was a little relieved to know that Nadarr would be arriving before the others.

Lora Faine had never met a dragonborn before and, while others might be intimidated, the opportunity that arose as she waited to speak with the King about his request was would have been too much of a waste to ignore. Yet, just as she was about to go introduce herself, the knight had started up a conversation with her. Lora Faine had always read about gallant knights, and though she had not expected one so scaly, Nadarr was as chivalrous and cordial as the most handsome knight in her books. As he came over the hill and the shuffling of his armor became a little louder, she gave him a small wave and greeted him, “Good morning, sir-knight.”

            “M’lady,” Nadarr replied and gave her a little bow. Lora Faine had never been bowed to before, besides at a dance hall, and she found the whole affair a little too formal but sweet, so she responded with a rather unrefined curtsy. He chuckled softly and said, “I pray you have had a good morning.”

            Lora Faine bit her lip and replied, “I have, but I would be lying if I told you that I was not a little nervous.”

            “Nervous?” Nadarr scoffed. “And why should you be nervous?” 

            Lora Faine searched his toothy smile for a moment before explaining herself. “You aren’t nervous about going into the Underwold?”

            “Anxious, but not nervous. I am itching to see what terrible monsters lay behind the gate,” Nadarr said.

            “I am not itching to see what lies on the other side of that door,” Lora Faine paused, looking back at the foot thick metal doors, “what lies on the other side of that door cannot be good for either of us.”

            “Aye, you’re right,” Nadarr admitted, “but it is good for the people of Doktham,” he added with a sanctimonious air.

            Lora Faine nodded, “I suppose you’re right.”

            “And if it’s the monsters you fear,” the knight pounded the chest piece of his armor with a cocky snort, “I will shield you from harm, in the name of Kord, I do swear it.”

            She smiled weakly at him and said, “Thank you, Nadarr, but it’s not the monsters I am worried about.” 

            Before Nadarr could further question her, Lora Faine was relieved that, he was interrupted by the arrival of Aramil, as he walked over the hill. The slim figure’s hood hung over his face, as he stopped next to the Nadarr, and grunted, “Morning.” Lora Faine and Nadarr returned the greeting. Lora Faine noticed how tense Aramil was when she saw him the day before. Most people were relaxed and showed some sign of shifting their weight. Yet, Aramil’s posture was like a bow string pulled back by an expert hand, unmoving and ready to let loose fury on an unwary target. He moved like a mountain lion on the prowl and that made her a little uncomfortable.

            “The drow hasn’t shown herself yet, has she?” Aramil asked them.

Nadarr looked to Lora Faine and she nervously answered, “No. It is just us three, so far.”

            “You think she would be the first here,” Aramil said as he looked over his shoulder and around, “It’s her bloody city we’re trying to save, right?”

            “I am sure that she will come soon,” Nadar said. Lora Faine watched as the dragonborn tried to catch Aramil’s eye, “Master Chezz assured us that she was the best ranger in all of Doktham.”

            “The king didn’t seem to be so sure,” Aramil replied, sharply, “He seemed to think she was a little too green. This drow wants to send us out there with his little niece and we might as well be on a wild goose chase.”

            Nadarr cleared his throat, “I do not believe Master Chezz would send his niece on this mission unless he believed she was capable.”

            “Capable of what?” Aramil sighed, “She was practically in tears at the sight of that old dwarf’s coughing and wheezing.”

            Lora Faine listened as Nadarr tried to calm down Aramil, but it was obvious that the half-elf was in no mood to be reasonable. He seemed frustrated with the results of yesterday’s meeting and had barely been able to contain himself before she saw him storm out of the room after pulling his hood back up over his head. She tried to ignore the two as they argued the merits of their quest. She was not sure about why she was being invited along for the dangerous trek either. Lora Faine was an herbalist and knew the ins and outs of natural medicine but she was not sure that she was the best druid for the job. Just as the argument was getting bitter and repetitive, with Aramil tripping up Nadarr’s simplistic argument and Nadarr’s breathing seemed to get a little heavier, another member of their fellowship made his way down the hill. It was the confident stride of the tiefling mage, carrying a heavy rut sack over his shoulders, and tail wagging lazily behind him.

            Lucius walked up right between Nadarr and Aramil, interrupting their argument, and stood before Lora Faine. Before she could greet him, he took off his hat from where it had been tucked between his two horns, and gave her the deepest bow she had ever seen. Then, in one fluid motion, took his hand, kissed her knuckles and said, “Good morning, my most fair and buxom maiden.” He leered up at her from the end of her hand, her nose wrinkled but her arm was frozen in his grasp, “I do hope that you did not spend all night waiting to see if I would come to see you at your room. I would never take advantage of someone as sweet and lovely as you.”

            “Erk,” she jerked her hand out Lucius’s sweaty palm, “Good morning to you too.” Nadarr cleared his throat and clasped a hand on Lucius shoulder just as he returned his hat to his head.

            “Good morning, friend,” Nadarr smiled toothily, “I do hope you did not stay up too late with libations. I saw you with more than a bottle of wine across the dining hall of the inn last night.”

            “Probably up all night listening on the elf’s door,” Aramil leered at the tiefling with distaste. 

            Lucius laughed, carefully pulling the clawed hand of the scaly paladin from his shoulder and turning to greet the two men, “The wine was shared with a lovely companion I met and talked in length with about my health and longevity.” He turned his gaze to Aramil and rebutted his glare with a smirk, “I’m sorry. I didn’t apologize for you spending all night pining for me too. I would kiss your hand but I would hate to give you such a thrill.”

            Lora Faine watched as Aramil, his arms a green blur, swung his bow off of his back and aimed an arrow right at Lucius’s face, “I would watch your tongue, hellspawn.”

            Lucius froze and said, “Wait a moment, it was only in jest.”

            “In jest? Perhaps, you would like to ingest one of my arrows?”Aramil snarled. 

Nadarr seemed to have been so taken aback, not quite catching the nature of Lucius’s joke and, unlike Lora Faine, his eyes were unable to follow Aramil’s movements. He gently placed a hand on Aramil’s arm, “Come now. An insult is not worth a life. Especially, the life of an ally.”

            “An ally?” Aramil pushed Nadarr’s hand away from his arm but kept his bow aimed directly at Lucius’s face as he spat, “He is a lusty little worm and cowardly weakling who will buckle under the first sign of trouble. The druid is far too sweet and shy for her own good. You are barely hatched and carrying a sword far too heavy for you. We are not allies. I do not even know why we agreed to follow that drow, Ryjara, into the Nine Hells and back. I should leave.”

            SWKK! Aramil’s arrow fell to the ground with a clack, as his bowstring was cut in two, and a black dagger sunk into the ground next to her feet. “Then leave.” A quite voice rang through the silent dark as Lora Faine, and all three of the others, looked up to a nearby roof. Standing on the corner of a roof, glaring down at them, was the drow ranger, looking quite irritated as she slid down the side of the building she had been standing on and landed softly behind Lucius. She pulled Lucius back and stood in front of Aramil. Aramil lowered his bow to the ground and Lora Faine watched as everyone stared at the little figure in the blue cloak.

            “You can leave. You can leave right now and go home.” The drow said calmly, “King Duhnkin is not going to send anyone after you. You can just go right now because I don’t need to be babysitting any blood-thirsty idiots in my city, much less dragging their arses through the Underwold.”

            “I want you all to come, but if you are going to want to start more nonsense like that beyond the Undergate, you can leave.” The drow looked around at them, “This is not some joke to me. The King has asked you all to help us and, in exchange, he will forget all your silly little debts that you or whatever organizations you represent up above owed him.”

            “If you come with me there is something you need to understand. Out there,” the drow pointed at the gate, “out there is a world of darkness and hunger that would love nothing more than to swallow us up. The only thing standing between that world and the above world is places like Doktham. If Doktham falls, then the darkness rises. And if the darkness rises, we all fall.”

            They all stared at the little imposing figure and Nadarr fell to one knee, “I will follow you.”

            “As will I, my fair lady, Ryjina,” Lucius gave her a deep bow.

            Lora Faine gulped and nodded, “I suppose I must go, as well.”

            All eyes turned on Aramil, who was glaring at the drow’s feet and then turned, “I got no choice.” He fiddled with his bowstring.

            “Very well, then,” the drow smiled and helped Nadarr to his feet, “You will all do whatever I say, understood?”

            “Most definitely.” Lucius answered as he came around and took the drow’s hand, kissing it, “And may I say, Miss Ryjarah, I would follow you any- OWIE!”

            The drow had jerked his wrist up and, twisted it, before letting him fall back with a smirk, “Thank you, Mister Lucius. But my name is Ryjac.”


Word of the Day! 10/15/11

Word of the Day

dandy [dan-dee]
1. a man who is excessively concerned with his appearance; a fop.
2. Informal. something or someone of exceptional or first-rate quality.
3. characteristic of a dandy; foppish.
4. Informal. fine, excellent; first-rate.

fundoshi [foon-doh-shi]
1. the traditional Japanese undergarment for adult males.

monocle [mahn-uh-kuhl]
1. an eyeglass for one eye.

cur [kur]
1. a mongrel dog, especially a worthless or unfriendly one.
2. a mean, cowardly person.

cad [kad]
1. an ill-bred man, especially one who is disrespectful toward women.

bounder [boun-der]
1. an obtrusive, ill-bred man.
2. a person or thing that bounds.

blackguard [blag-ahrd]
1. a low, contemptible person; a scoundrel.

rotter [rot-er]
1. a thoroughly bad, worthless or objectionable person.

lout [lout]
1. an awkward, stupid person;clumsy, ill-mannered boor; oaf

EX. The Panda dandy was more than off-put by the acts of the wild man, in not but a fundoshi, stole his most fancy of top hats and challenged him to a duel. The monocled Panda roared, "How dare you, sir! You cur! You cad! You bounder! You blackguard! You rotter! You lout!" 
He took a swing at the barbaric figure with his red boxing gloved fist, "You're not gentleman. Return my top hat at once!"

Friday, October 14, 2011

Word of the Day! 10/14/11

multiverse theory [muhl-tee-vurs-theer-ee]
1. the concept that a hypothetical set of possible universes (including the historical universe that we inhabit) that together comprise every thing that has existed, exists or can exist:space, time matter, energy, etc.

retcon [reht-kahn]
1. the common situation in fiction where a new story reveals things about events in previous stories, usually leaving the facts the same but changing their interpretation.
1. the act of changing things in previous stories by ignoring certain facts that contradict the new chain of events established in the reconstructed continuity (abrev. retcon).

EX. In the DC Comics Universe, during the Infinite Crisis event, Superboy-Prime pounded on the barrier of reality that bonds the multiverse together, and his retcon punch sent ripples through out time and space that changed the past, present and future of multiple earths.

Daily Round-Up 10/13/11


This clever indie-style re-imagining of God of War, in the vein of Juno and Rushmore is absolutely amusing.


This is just AWESOME. Yeah, its a little old but if you haven't seen it yet, it is absolute gold. I mean you take Calvin & Hobbes, the best comic strip ever made and combine it with the amusing angle of the Joker & Lex Luthor relationship? Color me LOL!


Tim Burton just isn't a good choice for a Superman director.

Pikachu's love for Ketchup is almost as infamous as Brock's love for ladies.

If this was a full-movie I would throw my money at it.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

STUFF I THINK ABOUT! The Clockwork God

deism [dee-iz-uhm]
1. belief in the existence of a God on the evidence of reason and nature only, with rejection of supernatural revelation. (distinguished from theism).
2. belief in a God who created the world or the Universe but has since remained indifferent to it.

Time to get a little heavy, but I hope I can entertain you with an explanation for my current belief. From childhood to about the age of twelve, I was a Christian. After finally reading the Bible and attending church, the seed of doubt was sewn after I was encouraged by an educator to question and even disprove a story from the Bible. His intention was probably to inspire us to question the validity of the entire King James Bible, but not our religious beliefs. Unintentionally, he set me on the path of all intellectuals who come to my conclusion. I had never experience a Revelation or felt as if God had directly interacted with me (as some people believe he speaks to them). By the time I started high school, I found that upon logical analysis, that the processes described by Christianity that created the Universe and other dogma, from angels to Hell, to the Devil to Jesus, and so on. The straw that broke the camel's back was a combination of the fact that so many people in the world are not Christian and, a rather disturbing belief shared by many Christians, that non-Christians are doomed to Hell. The idea that a perfectly righteous and humble person would be sent to Hell for merely being Buddhist or Hindi or Islamic. This simple idea and my own frustrations were enough to set me on the path of flip flopping between Atheism and Agnosticism.

Eh, close enough?
Today I am a diest. I believe in one God, karma, the human soul, and the afterlife but I also believe that the Universe is incredibly old, incredibly vast and Natural Laws dictate the way the Universe has formed and operates. I do not believe in Jesus or other supernatural beings or presume to know anything about the afterlife, prayer, churches, or that God punishes/rewards anyone in this life. It is important to know that, while I believe in these things, I don't begrudge anyone their own beliefs. My general philosophy, on morality, is do no harm unto yourself or others, unless to prevent the harm of yourself or others. I believe that the human purpose is to progress and spread throughout the Universe.

An important part of being a diest is that you believe in science and a compassionate, but hands-off God.

The hands-off God sets diests apart from other monotheists. The best analogy for the hands-off god is The Clockwork God. A diest believes that, much like a clockmaker making a clock, God set up all the natural laws and components of the Universe to be logical and then started the Universe. From that moment, he has just watched as the Universe swelled from a few simple bits of matter and energy into a seemingly infinite Universe, much like you might watch the gears and listen to the ticks of a well-made clock. There is no room for supernatural beings, like Jesus or angels, in this Universe. This God is infinitely complex and knows everything, yet the Universe had no need for his intervention. Neither does mankind, as we have all the tools available to us to create society, laws and progress without his intervention.

 The best example in literature or film that I can think to compare The Clockwork God is Dr. Manhattan in Alan Moore's The Watchmen.

Dr. Manhattan begins his life as a simple watchmaker's son but, after the creation of the Atom Bomb, his father sets him on the path of becoming a physicist. He becomes a very successful scientist, but seems to be destroyed in an accident involving a complex energy experiment. Yet, soon after, his conscience's willpower forces him to construct a new body.

 He is changed into his world's first truly super powered super hero. He is, more or less, turned into a new God. He is indestructible, immortal, and can create, change or destroy matter with the ease that we might blink. He is also all-knowing, all-seeing and, if he wished, omnipresent. At first, he tries to play the role of a super hero or savior. Yet, the more he tries to help humanity, the more he becomes disaffected by them and realizes that he has left them behind. And, eventually he does.

And what does he want to do? He can do anything! So, he wishes to create his own Universe. The only thing that Dr. Manhattan does not know is what this new Universe should be and this is only answered through his interactions with humans. He realizes that humanity does not come from within, it comes through one's connections with others.

Yet, this more of a brilliant metaphilosophical approach to The Clockwork God hidden in the covers of the most critically acclaimed graphic novel of all time than a true depiction of the concept. In reality, I believe that God's existence is impossible to understand or comprehend, at least in this mortal coil. Perhaps, in the afterlife, or perhaps not.

So, what can be taken away from this? Read or watch The Watchmen and try to look at your religious beliefs with some scrutiny but don't get too hung up on it. In my opinion, what's most important is that you do whatever you want in the beautiful world we live in but try not to hurt others in your pursuits.

"Belief in a cruel God, makes a cruel God."-Thomas Paine

Word of the Day! 10/13/11

Word of the Day

steam punk [steem-puhngk]
1. a subgenre of science fiction and fantasy featuring advanced machines and technologies based on 19th Century steam power and takes place in a recognizable time period (ex. Victorian or Edwardian Ages) or a fantasy world.
2. a subculture inspired by the genre; fashion and gadgets of steam punk.

dapper [dapper]
1. neat; trim; smart.
2. lively and brisk; energetic.
3. small and active.

EX. Squirtle, Pikachu and Charmander look delightfully dapper in their new steam punk wardrobe. I cannot wait to explore the concept of Pokemon in the Victorian era and the use of these creatures with, and in conjunction with, the fantastic technology of the era.

Daily Round-Up 10/12/11


Neil Patrick Harris almost makes me want to watch How I Met Your Mother... BTW, I like Ewoks. Deal with it.

In Soviet Equestria, my little pony loves you!

Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 cannot come soon enough. Captain Price is something the Treyarch games do not have.

I am excited about the prospects of the Marvel's The Avengers coming out next year. I predict it will destroy the box office and will serve as the peak of the super hero movie genre for years to come. On the other hand, it could be really disappointing but make so much money that they don't learn anything. Gulp. If Joss Whedon messes this up, than he'll have wasted the greatest opportunity a nerd could ask for- the keys to the frickin' kingdom!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


Word of the Day 10/12/11

 Word of the Day

sonic boom [son-ik-boom]
1. a loud noise generated by the shockwave of an aircraft moving at supersonic speed.

EX. Rainbow Dash achieves sonic boom to catch Rarity and the Lightning Bolts before they hit the ground (like a boss).


I've just had a terrible week so....expect me to neglect my schedule a little bit until I get things back in line. For example, my WTF Wednesday is prolly not happening tonight. I apologize but school is tough right now.

Thank you and keeping being awesome.

P.S. Thinking of joining tumblr and doing double posts between there and here. Thoughts?

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


The Lost Colony of Roanoke
DISCLAIMER: None of the following is necessarily true or sane.

On August 18, 1590, an expeditionary group landed on Roanoke Island and found, to their horror and confusion, that the Roanoke Colony had disappeared. Evidence suggested that the colonist had left in a hurry or were forcibly taken from their camp. The only other clue they left was the word "Croatan" carved into a tree. Ever since historians and scientists have searched for the truth. The following is one version of the truth provide by one Prof. Franklin Butts.

"Alright, you little farts listen up cuz the Prof is about to lay down the past prophecy, American history, the truth, dog. The year was like 1590, and some pilgrims were hanging out on the Island of Roanoke and having a great time. Yeah, they were starving and sick but they were having too much fun messing with the Natives to go home. They would blame the natives for stealing a silver cup or some other useless piece of crap and then totally over retaliate by sackin' and burnin' and just generally wreckin' their villages. It was a pretty sweet gig. But, alas, all turkey's get eaten and no thanks would be given that day.

That day came on a beautiful June morning. The pilgrims were hanging out by their fort, and were making a day out of counting how many kinds of trees there were around the fort, when all of the sudden a bright light shone down from the heavens. The pilgrims were freaking out cuz they figured it was God taking them up to heaven. But it wasn't. They had been abducted by aliens. Native American aliens who built the pyramids.

This one chick with the Roanoke crowd named Mary looked around and when she saw a Native walk up, she was like "Yo Injun, what's going on here?" 
The alien pulled out a taser and said, "We're taking your shoes. Those buckles look pretty swank."
The pilgrims were all kinda pissed but what could they do. They took off their shoes and Mary demanded to see their Captain.

She got her wish because of her insistence and Cptn. Steam Weasel was like, "How?"
Mary was like, "Is this the work of the god or the devil?"
"One sec." The Cptn was kind of a bad ass and looked down a periscope and shot their ship with a laser, "Boosh! Nice boat!"
"Hey! That was our boat!"
"Too bad!" The Captain shrugged,"Oh and we killed your god..."

5000 Years Earlier....

God is chilling in space, cross-legged, and just kinda resting in the upper atmosphere when a little space ship flew up in his face. God snapped, "The fuck?" And the aliens told him that if he didn't move and give up the planet they would kill him. God scoffed, "Pfft. Yeah, I'd like to see ya try!" So they shot him with a laser and he was like, "Ouch! Damn! Fuck! I'm dying. You fucking bastards! You know what....if I can't have it you can't have it!" and he pulled a lever and the Earth flooded and his last act was to put Jesus in an escape pod.

Back to 1590....

"Blasphemer!" Mary screeched and the Captain pressed another button and teleported the Roanoke colony into space as he pulled on his sweet buckle shoes.

As for the writing on the trees? The Captain put that there to eff with the British colonial pigs. And that's what happened to Madison Square Gardens."

Thank you and keep on dreaming!

Word of the Day. 10/11/11

Word of the Day

sensory overload [sen-suh-ree-oh-ver-lohd]
1.  a condition of receiving too much information or stimulation via visual or audio sources; overstimulation of one or more senses.

 EX. This blogger suffers from sensory overload. Don't tell anyone but it's my kryptonite. Maybe I'll blog about this on Thursday.

Daily Round-Up 10/10/11


Ditto is an abomination I have covered a couple of times in my blog. It really is a horrifying creation and probably the most disturbing of the Pokemon. Considering there are soul-stealing Pokemon and serial killing Pokemon, this is quite the impressive feat. Combine Ditto with John Carpenter's The Thing and SMOSH has hit just the right cord.

Top 10 Songs for Supervillains

"I made this half-pony half-monkey monster to please you
But I get the feeling that you don’t like it
What’s with all the screaming?
You like monkeys, you like ponies
Maybe you don’t like monsters so much
Maybe I used too many monkeys
Isn’t it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?"
-Skullcrusher Mountain, Jonathan Coulton

Patton Oswalt's The Heart, She Holler Trailer!

A new show from Adult Swim? A new show that is a six-part miniseries? A miniseries that seems to parody Twin Peaks and Stephen King? A miniseries staring the awesome talent of Patton Oswalt? This can't come soon enough!

This week is inevitably going to become "The Thing Week," I just know it. This is another awesome song from the Kaplan Bros.

Monday, October 10, 2011


Musical Monday!

John Carpenter's The Thing is currently my favorite horror movie. The inhabitants- scientists, pilots, etc.- of a research station in Antarctica are confronted by a terrible shape-shifting alien that takes the shape of people/animals it kills. Everything about the film is just perfect, but the main reason I love this film is rather simple. The characters in the film act like any person, with common sense, would act in this situation. They almost do everything that they should do and show great courage in the face of an enemy that could come from anywhere and be anyone. The casting is spot-on, with Kurt Russel providing Carpenter with another iconic performance as R.J. MacReady, the practical special effects still hold up, and the film is so complex that it will stand as one of the greats for years to come. 

Check it out. I give it a 5/5.

Word of the Day. 10/10/11

Word of the Day

propaganda [prop-uh-gan-duh]
1. information, ideas, or rumors deliberately spread widely to help or harm a person, group, nation, etc.

EX. I don't know what it is going on with North Korea's newest bout of propaganda but if it means Ash Ketchum has become the newest despot in Eastern Asia, we're all doomed. Arceus preserve us!

WEEKLY ROUND-UP 10/2-10/8 2011

I'll Kill You to Death Week
Note: Superboy Prime is the Jar Jar Binks of the DC Universe.

We lost a titan of tech industry this week and, even though I am not a fan of his products, company or the man himself, I respect Steve Jobs for having the gonads to succeed and live the life of a James Bond villain. 

"Genius never rests, even in death."

I really can't recommend The Book of Mormon musical enough. It is probably my favorite new musical. Call me biased because I wanted to write a musical about a Mormon who goes on crazy adventures in the world, including meeting the Queen of the Dominatrices. In the end, the musical was created and written by MATT PARKER AND TREY STONE, the creators of SOUTH PARK! Check out this musical. It's by no means G-Rated but it has a great message that I think we all can agree with.

I dunno what to say about this one but I find it more bizarre than the goriest or most perverse scenes I've seen from the most insane of anime and manga. This is just bizarre fan service.

Rummy shouldn't feel so ashamed of his body. Yes, rhinos are incapable of walking backward and are near sighted but they're also exceptional conversationalists, philosophers and navigators.

 This picture was just begging for some attention and I can't stop but feel a little perverse tickle in my heart when I see it.

 Damn these chibi Doctors, they drive me to blog.

I am really proud of how this chapter came out. I was nervous about writing about such a character who was such a fantastic creature. I was a little weary about how to go forward but after writing this one I am more enthused than ever to continue.

Sunday, October 9, 2011



There is something special about Halloween. It could be the soursweet smell of candy corn or the ring of your doorbell with an inevitable, "Trick or Treat!" I believe it is the spirit of embracing the horrific with a laugh. Children, young and old, dress up as the ghastliest of ghouls from poltergeists to politicians or as their favorite characters from Disney Princesses to Doctor Who.

Doctor Who's greatest strength is that, because its a show about an alien and his human companions traveling through time and space, there is no limit to the kind of story that can be told. The best Doctor Who stories involve the strange and terrible monsters that combine the best elements of horror. British parents tell their children how they used to hide behind the couch when the Daleks came on TV but  they lack the same punch. Sure, Daleks are a great match for the Doctor, but it is hard to be scared of them. They're basically a mix between Marvin the Martian, R2 D2 and wasps (What? If wasps could they would "exterminate" every living thing on Earth). The scariest Doctor Who villains are the ones who hold the mystery.

So, to celebrate Halloween I will talk about the scariest monsters of the 9th, 10th and 11th Doctors. Starting this week, we have


Appearances: Series 1(2005): The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances TRAILER

Powers: The Empty Child cannot die, he can punch through concrete walls, he can communicate through any device with a radio transceiver and he can spread his will through touch (and eventually the air). If infected by The Empty Child, you soon grow a scar on your left hand, then a gas mask grows out from your mouth, over your face, and you lose everything you ever were, becoming just an extension of his army.

Weaknesses: He is just a child and can be coerced like a child. A lullaby can lull him to sleep and a stern authoritative command can send him away. Yet, even these weaknesses can be ignored if you're in the way of The Empty Child's misson.

Motive: He wants his mummy?

Catchphrase: "Are you my mummy?"