WORD OF THE DAY! 2/9/13.

'Merica/'Murrica (etc.) [mur-ih-kuh]
noun
1. Slang. A red-neckification of "America" used as an expression of derision against stereotypical redneck patriotism or as a somewhat satirical support of an action related to the stereotypes of the gun-toting, super-size fast-food eating, and ignorant etc. red-neck American.

EX. Guess them aliens shouldn had done tried tuh invade 'Merica! Ain't they never saw Red Dawn?

But seriously, aliens. I think that no country has had more filmed/televised success stories in fighting alien menaces. How about you start with France or Papa New Guinea and work your way up to countries that other countries seeing as being filled with gun-loving nutjobs who will shoot solicitors and alien invaders alike.

You do not want the "Welcome ta Earf!" treatment, do you?

MIXED BAG. TABLETOP TALES! SMALL WORLD REVIEW!

TABLETOP TALES PRESENTS

SMALL WORLD REVIEW!

Designer: Philippe Keyaerts
Artist: Miguel Coimbra
Publishers: Days of Wonder,
Type: Board Game
Themes: Fantasy, Humor, & Strategy
# of Players: 2-5
Ages: 8 & Up
Time to Play: 60-120 min.
Approx. Price: $40-50

WORD OF THE DAY! 2/8/13!

forsooth [fawr-sooth]
expression
1. In truth, in fact, indeed, etc.

EX. "So, if I hit you before you hit me with your hammer then I am worthy to learn the Kaio-Ken from King Kai and you'll take me out for Shawarma?"Goku asked, a clear gleam of enthusiasm splashed across his gormless face as he stretched his legs and watched the blond god.

"Forsooth, Son Goku," Thor nodded, cranking his wrist to spin his hammer to build up speed, "Forgive me if I strike you down, mortal. The Kai King has promised that in your state I could do you no more harm than being dead. Now,"He gestured and Goku began to run at full spring, Thor counting to three, and tossing his mighty Mjolnir, "Have at thee!"

He slung his hammer and, rather than hear the familiar collision of Uru on bone, he saw an orange shape coping back over the horizon and catch his hammer.

As the inscription on the hammer says, "Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall posses the power of Thor."

And you can be that Goku would be worthy.

P.S. Chiaotsu is not a Pokemon.

MIXED BAG. THE ULTIMATE SUFFERING OF EGORAPTOR?

MIXED BAG. PRESENTS

THE ULTIMATE SUFFERING OF DREAD PIRATE EGORAPTOR

Last week I posted a WTF WED article on Egoraptor's Scream in Lightsaber Fightsaber and, a weird little hamster in my brain got to work on making some awful editing and remix stuff to produce something a little weirder than usual. A Princess Bride / Egoraptor Mash-Up. Enjoy...

Source of Original Audio

WORD OF THE DAY! 2/7/13.

bounce [bouns]
noun
1. A Pokemon Move.  The user bounces up high on the first turn, avoiding most moves (except Gust, Twister, Thunder, and Sky Uppercut, or if affected by Lock-On or Mind-Reader, or if attacked by a Pokemon holding No-Guard without holding one itself). On the second turn, the use slams down onto the target with a 30% chance of paralyzing its target if it hits. It can hit non-adjacent opponents in Triple Battle.

EX. Did you know that when Magikarp uses the attack Bounce, which it can learn from a move tutor in Gen IV & V, it can be... a viable threat? Or so the legends say.

WTF WED! BIRD MESSENGERS, CAT NINJAS, AND NOAH AKA "STRONGEST THERE IS!"

WTF WEDNESDAY PRESENTS

GAME GRUMPS: BARRY'S DEAD SPACE 3 BIRD MESSENGERS!

On one hand, Jon and Arin's Game Grumps episode on Dead Space 3's demo was a big commercial...but on the other hand it has some of the best Barry handywork in the series in his animating the "bird messengers". For some fun fanimations based on the episode click the following links below:

GAME GRUMPS ANIMATED: BLUE-BACKED ROBIN

BLACK BELLIED BUDAPEST BATTLE REMIX

BILL COSBIRD REMIX

RAIDEN'S GREATEST ADVERSARY: A CAT!

Raiden, a cyborg so powerful that he killed two giant Star Wars walkers with a break dance move, stopped a battleship from moving with brute strength, and cut off both of his arms to free himself from being pinned and fight with just a katana between his teeth, but cannot hit a cat, apparently.

ANGRY VIDEO GAME NERD: NOAH FANIMATION!

Somebody got the genius idea to begin doing fanimations of the Angry Video Game Nerd and I gotta say: s'bout damn time! The selling point on this animation is that its about a Noah's Ark game and as AVGN says, "Noah's so goddamn strong he puts the Hulk to shame!"

WORD OF THE DAY! 2/6/13.

どうもありがとうございました / doumo arigatou gouzaimashita [doh-moh-ah-ree-gah-toh-goh-zahy-mah-shtah (s-) ]
noun
1. Japanese. Thank you very much (informal).

EX. All Naruto had to do was say "どうもありがとうございました" and this all could've been prevented from occurring. Hundreds of ninja died, wars were initiated, and countless other crimes all because Naruto didn't say "どうもありがとうございました". So remember kids, always, and I mean always, say thank you to the pudgy and mysterious stranger that (probably) serves you ramen at inflated prices because you were orphaned and possessed by a demon fox as an infant.

WEEKLY ROUND-UP! 1/28-2/3/13!

WEEKLY ROUND-UP PRESENTS

"POKE-VENTURE TIME!" WEEK

7. WORD OF THE DAY. 1/28/13. Fugue.

I've posited some kooky Pokemon theories, but the idea of Ash Ketchum having fugue is silly. Click here for a more plausible theory behind Ash's eternal youth as well as ten other neato fan theories/stuff.

6. WTF WED! LIGHTSABER FIGHTSABER + EGORAPTOR SCREAMS!

I'm actually working on a sequel to this article after I was inspired by the loop of Egoraptor screaming.

5. WORD OF THE DAY. 1/30/13. Breeding.

Jigglycruel is 10x cooler than Pikablu ever was- no he's even 10x cooler than that crappy Mewthree we imagined would be revealed after Mewtwo (and considering the one I imagine was a cyborg with wings that's pretty "cool").

4. MUSICAL MON! FERRETS PETTING BRONIES!

The secret to a good Musical Mon or WTF Wed article is to do one of two things: have a surefire winner that appeals to a wide audience or go for a variety. This article nails both by making sure to hit very different tones with each video (with the last video probably worthy of its own article).

3. WORD OF THE DAY! 2/2/13. Intestinal Fortitude.

Another article on a Nickelodeon classic for your pleasure. (Remember Legends of the Hidden Temple?)

2. POKEMONS OF THE WEEK: TENTACOOL & TENTACRUEL

You know I was never a huge fan of the tentacled duo, but writing this article has given me something of a better appreciation for what makes them "Tenta-Cool".

1. TABLETOP TALES: MY GATECRASH PRE-RELEASE!

I may have gone 2 Ws and 3 Ls at the Gatecrash Pre-Release, but the only thing I regret was that I didn't try to have more fun (best advice for any sort of MtG event is get plenty of sleep the night before (I was operating on 3 hrs)). Regardless of my losses and mistakes, I'm glad I chose to make a three color deck with what I had to work with.

WORD OF THE DAY! 2/5/13.

upsy-daisy /upsa-daisy [p-see-dehy-see/up-suh-dehy-see]
interjection
1. Used as a reassurance upon lifting a baby up or upon tossing a baby up into the air (which is pretty inadvisable).

EX. I wonder how often Wolverine hears "upsa-daisy" before being tossed by a super strong hero at some threat in what has been called a "fastball special".

POWERPUFF GIRLS FASTBALL SPECIAL?

MUSICAL MON! UNICORNS VS. SLENDERMAN: THE CAKENING!

MUSICAL MONDAY PRESENTS

WEEBL'S UNICORN

If you are a regular reader of Dumbledore Shot First, then you have probably seen my somewhat bizarre obsession or, perhaps better put, amusement with the mythical creature that Noah kicked off the Ark for trying to poke holes into it with its horn. You can expect plenty of more articles about these glorious beasts in the future-- either for better or worse and usually depicted as wonderful god beings or snobby bastards.

SYMPATHY FOR SLENDERMAN

I have never played Slender or any game involving Slender Man, but I can certainly appreciate the enigmatic horror presented by such a character. He reminds me of a variety of other similar characters and I'm glad to see a new generation has inherited the cosmic horror of the unknown into their zeitgeist. Now, I just gotta tick down to the inevitable crappy mainstream Slender Man movie.

CAKE (BAKE ME A CAKE)

BAKE ME A CAKE. BAKE ME A CAKE. BAKE ME A CAKE. BAKE ME A CAKE. BAKE ME A CAKE. BAKE ME A CAKE. BAKE ME A CAKE. BAKE ME A CAKE. BAKE ME A CAKE. BAKE ME A CAKE. BAKE ME A CAKE. BAKE ME A CAKE. BAKE ME A CAKE. BAKE ME A CAKE. BAKE ME A CAKE. BAKE ME A CAKE. BAKE ME A CAKE. BAKE ME A CAKE. BAKE ME A CAKE. BAKE ME A CAKE.

WORD OF THE DAY! 2/4/13.

Pokeathlon [poh-keh-ath-lawn]
noun
1. Pokemon video game. A type of Pokemon competition involving racing and other similar athletic contests similar to track and field competitions.

EX. I don't particularly enjoy Pokemon mini-games and, I'm curious to know, does anybody else actually enjoy them? I mean, first we had crap like the slot machines in 1st Gen, then contests like Pokeathlons, beauty contests, dress-up games (ugh), and even making films-- it seems like its only a matter of time until you do some innocuous activity like a Pokemon sackrace.

The main reason I ever find Pokemon mini-games obnoxious is when you have to do them-- like in Red & Blue when the only way to get a Porygon is through earning enough coins by gambling to trade for the prize. Most of these mini-games are a waste of time, in my humble opinion, and just delay you from the fun of catching and fighting with Pokemon.

The only mini-game like thing I enjoy is the Safari Zone since it allows you to catch exotic Pokemon with a different set of mechanics. On a related note, I'd love to play a Mario Party style Pokemon game with the sort of games we got in the Stadium series. What do you think?

Also, for a bonus:

NO POSTS TODAY!

A surprising eruption of puppet on puppet violence has once again shut down the office. We will be unavailable today while a team of puppet exterminators flop around awkwardly to deal with the problem.

See you tomorrow, space cowboys.