WTF WED! IT'S MADE OUT OF F***ING POKÉMON & CHIN CHIN !?

OMG BISCOFF SPREAD

"IT'S MADE OUT OF F***ING COOKIES!"

POKÉMON RIVALS   &   TOO CUTE: POKÉMON

We're dispensing two different flavors of Pokémanz this week: a sweet abridged short based on the Pokémon Origins miniseries, from Octopimp, and Esquirebob's latest collaboration with Egoraptor that properly parodies the saccharine puppy/kitten documentaries they play on Animal Planet to pander to little girls, grandmas, and everyone else.

Also, I thought you could use a little bit of a stabalizer between OMG BISCOFF and the latest messed up night terror from the orifices of Filthy Frank.

FILTHY FRANK: DON'T MESS W/ ONE DIRECTION

This really speaks for itself. Filthy Frank feels like he is being unnecessarily harassed by a parody of the homophobic black guy stereotype, calls upon the powers of Chin Chin, his eldritch god & life partner, and summons forces beyond his and Paul Abdul's control. I apologize in advance, but I'm not sorry.

WEEKLY ROUND-UP! OCT. 21- OCT. 27/13!

 WEEKLY ROUND-UP PRESENTS

ELECTRIC MOUSE, FLOWER DINOSAUR,

 FIRE LIZARD, & WATER TURTLE WEEK!

7. WORD OF THE DAY! 10/27/13! POKÉBLOG X #3! Colleague.

After a week off, I kicked back into gear and produced some really swell articles about my experiences in Pokémon X!

6. WORD OF THE DAY! 10/26/13! Adulterate.

Resulting in two articles of me contemplating the physical, mental, and spiritual costs of running this blog. I AM THE ONE WHO BLOGS! I'm the one who blogs.

5. WTF WED! DARTH VADER VS. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VS. BEARS!

Fun Fact #666: The life of Jake Lloyd, the actor who portrayed the young Anakin in the Phantom Menace, was ruined by the film that ruined Star Wars.

4. WORD OF THE DAY! 10/25/13! Substitute.

Accept no substitutes. Like, comment, subscribe, and share my blog today. I promise we don't use imitation blog flesh in our original recipe!

3. MUSIC MON! GOTTA BONK 'EM ALL INTO THE DANGER ZONE!

But seriously, I love my blog, I love my friends, and I love my Pokémon games. Expect things to go according to plan.

2. WORD OF THE DAY! 10/23/13! POKÉBLOG X #2! EXP share.

Perhaps the most controversial mechanic in the game, that's completely optional, I really feel like EXP Share has pushed me to use a lot more Pokémon in my journey.

1. WORD OF THE DAY! 10/21/13! POKÉBLOG X #1! Kalos starters.

 A little update: I actually ended up naming my Chesnaught "Rammus" (my favorite jungle in LoL), my Gardvoir is named Merlin, my Talonflame is named after Dumbledore's pet phoenix, Fawkes, & my Aurorus is named after Littlefoot from Land Before Time! Still need to rename Honedge "Conan".

WORD OF THE DAY! 10/21/13! POKÉBLOG X #1

SOURCE: Dorkly.com

Kalos starters [kal-ohs-stahrt-ers]
noun
1. The Pokémon that Professor Sycamore's proteges offers to the protagonist in the 6th Generation of Pokémon games; Chespin, Fennekin, and Froakie. Also included, are the Kanto Starters, excluding Pikachu, that Sycamore offers later in the game.

EX. As many of my friends know, I changed my plans on which Kalos Starter I would pick for my first playthrough of Pokémon X. Originally, I planned to get Froakie & Bulbasaur, but, after the reveal of Chespin's final form, Chesnaught, I changed my mind.

CHESPIN FOR LIFE!

I decided I liked Chespin the most and that it still met my plans of mixing it up by not picking the fire starter. Unfortunately, as cool as Greninja is, I decided that I wasn't as big a fan and figured I could figure out another Pokémon to fit my Water type needs (which, you'll see, is not technically the case, fufufu). I plan to eventually rename it Cptn. Carrot after one of my favorite characters from the Terry Pratchett books.

What does that mean for my other choices? Well, since I wasn't going to be picking Bulbasaur as my Kanto starter, I had to pick between Charmander & Squirtle and, as much as I figured I could just use the event Torchic, I really wanted Charizard X! I named my Charmander "Smaug" and I felt a lot of nostalgia for my first starter from way back in the day. I remember my nickname for my Charmander in Yellow was "Chili", oddly enough.

And, while we're here, I'll talk about other core members I captured for my team:

I'm not sure why, but I just really connected with the Ralts I caught and am excited to see it's Mega Gardevoir form. I need to rename it and I'm thinking Sir Lancelot.

Fletchling is pretty great, despite the 4X weakness to Rock, and I think he is my favorite generational bird after Staraptor. I'm going to rename the Talonflame "Hawky" after Sokka's pet hawk in the Avatar: The Last Airbender series.

Steel/Ghost type that is a "love it or hate it" Pokémon? There are two types of people: people that appreciate Honedge's cool design and strategy and people that hate it because it's a living sword... I don't know if I like the latter's opinion cuz I think he is pretty sweet. I will probably rename my Honedge "Conan" after the sword-wielding barbarian.

Last but not least, is the cutest member of my team Amaura, the new Ice/Rock dinosaur. This little cute creature has a neat typing and even neater abilities. I also noticed that your hand freezes if you touch it's ice crystals on its sides in Pokémon Amie-- which is awesome!

And that's the first little bit of info about my experience with the game. Expect more of my opinions and experience later this week.

WORD OF THE DAY! 8/9/13!

parallel universe [pehr-uh-lel-yoo-nuh-vers]
noun
1. A theory that there is a mirror universe and when one makes a decision in this universe, an alternate 'you' in the other universe makes the opposite decision.

EX. In a parallel universe, Squirtle was my starter Pokémon, in Pokémon Blue Version, instead of Charmander. In that Universe, my team when I played against the Elite Four was Blastoise, Alakazam, Jolteon, Arcanine, Snorlax,  and Articuno. I got Alakazam by trading a Machoke for a Kadabra. In that universe, I traded my Pokémon, and made different friends. From that moment, my life begins to change more and more from this one until I'm an actor on the Disney Channel show "What's That Smell?", then star in the second Transformers movie, before winding up crashing a tractor into an Alaskan ice fissure with Lindsay Lohan and being eaten alive by a Grizzly-Polar Bear hybrid.

I guess it's a good thing I chose Charmander?

WORD OF THE DAY! 5/27/13!

like a boss [lahyk-uh-baws]
1. An exclamation that describes an action that is indicative of the individual being described has done something or does things in a manner that is cool, awesome, bad ass, or impressive.

EX. I rushed out this Word of the Day...LIKE A BOSS!

WORD OF THE DAY! 4/29/13!

ablaze [a-bleyz] /aflame [a-fleym]
adjective

1. Burning; on fire.

2. Gleaming with bright lights, bold colors, etc.

3. Excited; eager; zealous; ardent.

4. Very angry.

SOURCE: dictionary.com

EX. Sometimes I feel sorry for certain Fire Pokémon than other types of Pokémon; being partially ablaze at all times is definitely got to complicate a lot of activities and require extra care not to harm one self or others. Heck, Charmander has to keep his tail aflame or, withing minutes, will die. Some of them produce so much heat that they can only live comfortably in the harshest of environments, such as besides volcanoes or in the desert, or they threaten to catch the environment on fire and threaten the lives of other innocent Pokémon.

On one hand, Fire is one of my favorite types (I almost lways go with the fire starter), but on the other hand I dunno how safe it would be to have a living lava slug Mascargo in my house.

WORD OF THE DAY! 10/9/12.

degradation [deg-ruh-dey-shuhn]
noun

1. The act of humiliating, debasing, etc.

2. The state of humiliated, wore down, etc.

3. Physical Geography. The wearing down of the land by the erosive action of water, wind, or ice.

4. Chemistry. The breakdown of an organic compound.

 EX. And I suppose using a Squirtle to wash my car would also be degrading?

WORD OF THE DAY! 7/28/12.

dress-up [dres-uhp]
adjective
1. Being an occasion, situation, etc., for which someone must be formally dressed.
noun
2. Informal. A person's best clothing, accessories, or other added features.
3. A game in which the participants put on clothes or costumes to play out or role play a role.

EX. Playing dress-up with your Pokemon would be absurdly complicated in a world of Jigglypuffs, Muks, Diglets, and other formless/limbless/oblong Pokemon.

WORD OF THE DAY! 3/3/12

sham [sham]

noun

1. something that is not what it purports to be; a spurious imitation; fraud or hoax.

2. a person who shames.

3.  a cover or the like for giving a thing a different outward appearance: a pillow sham.

adjective

4.  pretended; counterfeit; feigned.

5.  designed, made, or used as a sham.

verb [used with object]

6.  to produce an imitation of.

7. to assume the appearance of; pretend to have.

verb [used without object]

8. to make a false show of something; pretend.

EX. I suppose the clever bouncer saw through the weak sham of the Charmander's foil Charizard card.

 

WORD OF THE DAY! 2/9/12

druthers [druhth-erz]
noun
1. one's own way, choice, or preference.

EX. If I had my druthers, I would choose Charmander.

WORD OF THE DAY! 2/2/12

hypothetical [hahy-puh-thet-i-kuhl]

noun

1. a hypothetical situation, instance, etc.

adjective

2.assumed by hypothesis.

3. given to making hypothesis.

4. Logic. a.(of a proposition) highly conjectural; not well supported by available evidence.

               b.(of a proposition or syllogism) conditional.

EX. The above hypothetical, like all hypotheticals, can only be salvaged with big fat dose of Gary Mother F***in' Oak.