POKÉBLOG 2014 #2 WORD OF THE DAY! 3/22/14!

speed run [speed-run]
noun
1. Video games. The act of a player/s taking on a video game related challenge, especially beating a game under specific conditions, as quickly as possible.

EX. I've replayed a lot of my games before, that's sorta the point of keeping them instead of trading them into Gamestop, but I don't think I've ever set out to speed run a game before. I tend more toward the Completionist route and obsessively hunt down every side mission and item (unless tedious). For example, I have all of the achievements in Elder Scrolls: Oblivion on the Xbox 360 (I'm sure that's not that impressive, but it was a bit of an undertaking and I'm proud of it). But after a frustrating round of League of Legends games, I decided to take a break and try to beat a Pokémon Yellow Emulator as quickly as possible:

The goal was to beat the Elite Four and Champion as quickly as possible.

Some of the reasons my run didn't go as quickly as I wanted were that, rather than focusing on maxing the stats of one Pokémon that could easily dominate the gyms and elite four, I was preoccupied with keeping a full balanced team. I also fought every trainer that I could and searched for certain items that were unnecessary. This play thru was mostly to reteach myself where everything was and develop a strategy for future Let's Play action. Still, I beat the game pretty quickly but don't have the exact time due to a glitch in my emulator.

Now, let's talk about my team a little bit:

BUTTER THE PIKACHU

The weak link of the team, Butter's only real assets were his Body Slam & Thunderbolt (giving him the sweep on Lorelie) for Paralysis, Quick Attack to speed out for last hits, and as my Flash slave. Still, I was glad I played through with Pikachu to remember just how cute but useless of a starter he is even in a game completely centered on him.

CHUNK THE NIDOKING

I've always been a big fan of the Nido Pokémon and I discovered, for myself, that Nidoking is pretty much the most OP Pokémon for sweeping the Elite Four. He has great stats and can learn a variety of awesome moves/movesets. For my run, Chunk was Moonstone evolved before I had my second badge and by the end his moveset was: Earthquake to take out just about anything, but especially Poison Pokémon like Agatha's Gengar, Surf to take out Bruno's team, Rockslide for flyers like Golbat and Dragonite, and Thrash (which I should've swapped for Horn Drill in retrospect).

Chunk is the King.

POMA THE NIDOQUEEN

Body Slam, Thunderbolt, Icebeam, and Toxic seemed liked a great combination of abilities to paralyze, freeze, and poison her targets, but Poma was too gentle. Still, she made for a great tank and I was glad to have used her despite the fact that a Psychic Pokémon probably would've been more appropriate.

GOJI THE CHARIZARD

Goji was probably the second most valuable member of my team thanks to his mobile moveset; Fly is a stab move that also helped me travel, Dig helped me wipe out Lt. Surge and sweep lots of Pokémon, Slash provided a good reliable damage dealer, and Flamethrower is the classic killer in many situations.

Charmander is still probably my favorite 1st Gen starter.

TUSKY THE BULBASAUR

Tusky is a simple boy. Tusky is a good boy. Well, he would be... If I hadn't accidentally overwrote Sleep Powder to give him a toolset to set up sweeps with Sleep Powder and Leech Seed. Instead, Poison Powder was a somewhat useful combo with Mega Drain and Cut for needs (I didn't want to waste time picking up an HM slave). Unfortunately for Venusaur, I always find him to be the least useful in 1st Gen games because of his weaknesses to already OP in 1st Gen Ice and Psychic with neither the tank nor the speed to make up for it.

ZENDO THE BLASTOISE

The funny guy of the group had to be Zendo. He was a clincher in situations thanks to his powerful Surf and Blizzard attacks. He also had Strength to help me on Victory Road and Skullbash (which I should've traded for Takedown or some other attack). I didn't use him nearly as much as Goji or Chunk, but I definitely appreciate Blastoise more as I get older.

In the end, I beat my Rival Numchuk after a few trial runs of the Elite Four.

In a real speed run, I would focus on Nidoking, skip certain objectives, and take advantage of the AI's weaknesses to push as quickly as posisble.

To see a real speed run, as opposed to my lame amateur attempt, check out the link below. Neat to know that my theory about Nidoking being the perfect Pokémon to sweep the Elite Four is apparently the dominant strategy... with which Werster, below, beats his previous record with a time of 1 Hour & 55 Min.

 

WORLD RECORD POKÉMON YELLOW SPEED RUN (1 HOUR & 55 MIN.)

WEEKLY ROUND-UP! SEP. 23- SEP. 29 2013!

WEEKLY ROUND-UP PRESENTS

TOSS YOUR PIKACHU WEEK!

7. WORD OF THE DAY! 9/27/13! Eject.

Why toss a Pikachu, when you can toss a bear trying to eat your salmon? And, by "bear", I mean a stuntman in a very cheap, unconvincing bear suit. What? Did they think people were drooling idiots in the '70s?

6. WORD OF THE DAY! 9/25/13! OTP!

I personally don't have any particular OTPs although I oppose Naruto x Hinata because I find Hinata to be an annoying bore.

5. WORD OF THE DAY! 9/28/13! Mother figure.

"Look at what I made... Do you want it? No. You sure? Okay." And the Mother Tyranitar left and Ash missed out on catching another powerhouse for his team. Baka...

4. WORD OF THE DAY! 9/29/13! Handheld.

Handheld titles I'm looking forward to playing: Pokémon X, Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds & Fire Emblem Awakening). Right now, I'm playing Pokémon Black 2 & FF: Tactics Advance.

3. WTF WED! AN ELEPHANT WATCHES A PSA ABOUT RACISM & FRENCH-KISSING!

Not much to be said here. 90's TV was pretty obsessed with morals, which is, at least, better than the YOLO reality TV crap on every frickin' channel these days.


2. MUSIC MON! DAN BULL & GTA 5, TEENAGE GIRLS & IMAGINARY BOYS, and SERIOUSLY, F*** TEEMO!

I've been playing a lot of League of Legends lately. I've also gotten back into TF2. My favorite class in TF2 is still, probably, the Pyro because because I love catching spies. What's your fave class?

1. TABLETOP TALES: MY THEROS PRE-RELEASE "WHITE/BLUE BAG OF WINDS!"

I rode into battle on Fleetfeather Sandals and my Cavalry on the backs of Pegasi. We had Heliod on our side, but not even his guiding light could illuminate the hands dealt to our foes. Our reactions slowed, our march came to a stop still, and the crashing tragedy of our tempo coming to a halt filled the battlefield. The Fates were not kind that day.

WORD OF THE DAY! 9/29/13!

handheld [hand-held]
noun
1. Short for "handheld console", it is a portable video game console meant to be held in the hands.

EX. I have owned the following handhelds: Game Boy, Game Boy Color, Game Boy Advance, Game Boy Advance SP, Nintendo DS, Nintendo DS Lite, PSP, Nintendo DS XL, and Nintendo 3DS. My favorite handheld?

Probably my Lime Green Game Boy SP.

It can play all my Game Boy, Game Boy Color, and Game Boy Advance games, was portable enough to fix in my pocket, has great button placement, the screen is the right size and bright, the clamshell design works and hasn't broken, and it is in one of my favorite colors.

The best console is probably the Nintendo DS... hard to pick a model between the Lite and the XL. The Lite could play Advance games, but the XL is so big and has all the special features that the later DS consoles brought.

What's your favorite handheld?

WORD OF THE DAY! 11/26/12.

monochrome [mon-uh-krohm]
noun

1. A painting or drawing in different shades of a single color.

2. The art or technique of producing such a painting or drawing.

3. The state or condition of being painted, decorated, etc., in shades of a single color.

adjective

4. Being or made in the shades of a single color.

5. Having the images reproduced in tones of gray.

EX. Anybody else love the monochrome graphics of the Gameboy? No. Well, are you at least nostalgic about the "Fifty Shades of Green" that was playing Tetris and Super Mario Land? Not really. Well, (seven days), I'm sorry to hear that...I'll just play my Gameboy carts on my Gameboy SP and be happy.

MUSICAL MONDAY! SUPER MARIO LAND W/ LYRICS!

MUSICAL MONDAY PRESENTS

SUPER MARIO LAND W/ LYRICS!

Today's Musical Monday is a brentalfloss and featuring Dave Bulmer is about a video game that I have a rather personal and nostalgic relationship. In many ways, Super Mario Land is one of the lost Mario games; it was 1989 and Nintendo's handheld Game Boy console was a new piece of hardware. I hadn't even been born when this game came out, but the Game Boy and several cartridges (including the equally important Tetris & Tetris II) were the first video games my Dad bought in the names of, someday, being able to share it with his son. And it was the first console I think I ever played and I played it a lot.

Road trips, which we took a lot of between visiting my grandparents in TN and moving every two years or so, were quite common in my childhood. I used to carry around a backpack full of books, but the entertainment I remember most fondly was my Game Boy. Super Mario Land was rather special as it was probably my default game (after Tetris II) and I can remember having to ask adults to help me figure out harder parts of the game.

The colors were shades of green and black, it was hard to see the screen in the sunlight, and it weighed about 3/4s of a pound when I had the rechargable battery pack plugged into the back of the sucker. It was the first console I ever really had, the first console I ever had to play Pokemon on, and it will always have a special place in my heart. When you consider the fact that I didn't get a Color Game Boy until about 1999-2000 (I remember it was when they rolled out Pokemon Gold/Silver), you can understand how the only portable console I had for ten years would leave a very serious impression on me when compared to modern portables which get new iterations every twelve months...(I'm looking at you 3DS XL)

3DS XL PROVOKES VIOLENCE W/ ZAN

WORD OF THE DAY! 6/13/12.

osteoporosis [os-tee-oh-puh-roh-sis]

noun

1. A disorder in which the bones become increasingly porous, brittle, and subject to fracture, owing to loss of calcium and other mineral components, sometimes resulting in pain, decreased height, and skeletal deformities: common in older persons, primarily postmenopausal women, but also associated with long-term steroid therapy and certain endocrine disorders.

EX. If your x-rays look like Tetris, you've got something worse than osteoporosis.

WEEKLY ROUND-UP! 5/28-6/3/12.

WEEKLY ROUND-UP PRESENTS

"OH, YOU!" WEEK

7. WORD OF THE DAY. 6/2/12. Aegis.

The last week was a week of illness and diversions. Despite my illness, I managed to blog my usual load, more or less, and the week helped me realize a few small goals. For example, by the end of the Summer, I hope to be in far better shape than I have been in years.

P.S. Pikachu is the bomb.

6. WORD OF THE DAY. 6/1/12. Fap.

This is easily the most questionable content I can remember posting, at least for a word of the day, and I am happy to say I think I handled it maturely.

Also, I had been trying to find a way to use this image for months.

5. WORD OF THE DAY. 5/30/12. Psycho Somatic.

" A great example of these empathetic experiences would be in my A D & D group. A character, in game, was using a crystal ball. One of the other characters asked to look at it. In real life, the first player actually handed an invisible object to the other person and, when done, the other person handed it back; and they laughed at their dorkiness."

4. WORD OF THE DAY. 6/3/12. Et cetera.

Now, you want something you can't go wrong with? Look no further than the classic family film, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1970). There are few films I find harder to not recommend for an afternoon with your loved ones. Gene Wilder is incredible. 5/5.

3. WORD OF THE DAY. 5/31/12. Game boy.

This was another great example of a very personal look at how gaming has affected my life. My Game boy is probably the single most effective symbol of my childhood. It represented the diversion of a small boy who could allow his imagination to surge in monochrome. My imagination is still monochromatic but, as I get older and leave my childhood isolation behind, I find color and shades of grey leak into my every fantasy.

I still have my Game boy and it still works. I wonder if any kid can say the same thing about your DS or cellphone in twenty years?

2. MUSICAL MONDAY PRESENTS STARSHIP: THE MUSICAL!

 "...a twisted and delightful amalgam of Pixar's Bug's Life and the cult classic Starship Troopers."

1. WTF WEDNESDAY! SNOWFLAME & THE NEW GUARDIANS!

"I am Snow-Flame! Every cell of my being burns with white hot ecstasy. Cocaine is my god and I am the human instrument of its will!"-Snowflame, The New Guardians #2

And I honestly don't know else to convince you to check out Linkara's review, of the fan webcomic, about the long neglected super-villain, Snowflame. He is a super-villain whose powers are derived from cocaine. End of sale pitch.

Oh, You! A sitcom coming to a internets near you.

WORD OF THE DAY! 5/31/12.

game boy [geym-bohy]
noun
1. Video Games. The first handheld electronic device for playing cartridge style games. It was the second handheld, after the Game & Watch series, combining features from the NES/Famicom and their previous handheld effort into a simple and successful device. It was followed by the pocket model, a smaller model, and then the Game Boy Color, with a broad color pallet and, eventually, the true successor the Game Boy Advance. The best selling titles in the console's history, which had a quite large catalogue, was Tetris (1989) and Pokemon Red & Blue (1996). It succeeded over its more technologically advanced competitors by being cheaper, more battery efficient, and having the Nintendo line of software title

EX. Future generations may never understand the simple genius of the Game Boy. Some of my earliest memories are of playing Super Mario World and Tetris 2 in the back of my Dad's "hot rod" (actually, a smoke-colored and cigarette-infused sedan). I wasn't very good at video games and, to be honest, I don't think most little kids are very good at them. It requires a bit of dedication for a five year old to sit in a car seat and figure out how to get Mario past the ridiculous obstacles you encounter in the title. Remember, we didn't really have game guides back then. Heck, the only game guide I ever had was for my Super Game Boy, which, by the way, is one of the most incredible cartridges you could buy for you SNES.

Pokemon, of course, was the title that changed everything. I remember when I got Pokemon Blue, I weaseled my way into getting it, if I remember, at the end of one summer. I became obsessed after getting a book about the original generation and learning all of their names, types, abilities, attacks, etc. in ad nauseum. I was pretty obsessed with Pokemon, but I wasn't ever really that good at it. For example, I don't think I've ever used a Master Ball, caught a Mewtwo, or exploited any of the glitches. Cuz I am a dork.

Today, portable gaming feels like it is being ruined by two factors; the industry, which makes poor decisions that focus more on hardware than software, and age; I find I have less and less time and compulsion to play portable games. My PSP is collecting dust and my DS consoles are lucky to get my attention for Mario titles and every new Pokemon installment.

Is the magic gone?