MUSIC MON! DAVID HASSELHOFF & NICHOLAS CAGE ARE LITTLE GLEE MONSTERS!

DAVID HASSELHOFF- TRUE SURVIVOR! (KUNG FURY)

I have been watching Obscurus Lupa's Baywatch retrospective and it definitely gives you some perspective on one of the biggest celebrities alive. He is a, believe it or not, wildly successful musician, movie star, and producer. The man drove a talking car in Knight Rider and was the star/producer of Baywatch, which was the most watched television program on Earth for several years with a combined viewership of 1.1 billion viewers.

Which, considering how terribly Baywatch is, that is an impressive reflection of some sort of super talent behind the scenes or the human race is doomed.

Don't hassle the Hoff.

P.S. Make sure to check out Kung Fury when it debuts May 28th on youtube.

POKEMON X & Y! "LITTLE GLEE MONSTER!"

What would we even do without Nicholas Cage or Pokemon?

My generation would probably find something more productive to than futz around on the internet all day.

And that would be a shame.

To distract us from the ever widening void that is growing between us, made up of wasted time and social dissonance, enjoy the uber adorable Pokemon X & Y anime credits ending.

While you can.

POLTERGEIST! THE MUSICAL!

Hollywood. Please stop remaking and sequelizing films that shouldn't be remade. Remakes are only necessary to update the film (if need be) for a new audience or to fix a film that, while a brilliant concept, failed in execution. Sequels should only be made if there is another story worth telling. Unnecessary sequels cheapen classics, spoil happy endings (seriously, think about it) and tire us all out.

Still, you don't care. Gotta get that green. Le sigh.

WEEKLY ROUND-UP! 6/4-6/10/12.

WEEKLY ROUND-UP PRESENTS

KING KERMIT & THE HOLY GRAIL WEEK

7. WORD OF THE DAY! 6/8/12. Hassle.

"Don't hassle the Hoff" are simple words that we could all learn to live by. After all, in our daily lives, how often do we dream of motoring across the sea on our well-tanned washboard abs to save a talking sponge and his starfish life partner from the beach. Worst case scenario? When you launch them to the bottom of the sea, using your mechanical pecs, you might pull a muscle; but that is a small price to pay to stop Plankton and save King Neptune.

6. WORD OF THE DAY! 6/6/12. Monochromatic Eyes.

Just in case you ever wondered why, in cartoons and comics, heroes always have white spaces in their mask's eyeholes. I give you exhibit A.

5. WTF WEDNESDAY: EAGLEHEART "SKY CRIME!"

"...a perfect example of a good episode, is Episode 3 of the 1st Season, "Master of Da' Skies", where Chris discovers a shocking loophole in local law. In the sky, there are no laws and "The Baron" rules this criminal overworld from his flying zeppelin "Cloudtopia." The response of Chris? Extremely violent vigilante warfare on the criminals who think they can escape the long hairy arm of the law."

4. WORD OF THE DAY! 6/5/12. Greek Fire.

Just lean back and watch the fireworks.

3. MUSICAL MONDAY! DISNEY FANATIC! #4 DRUGS & ELEPHANTS

"A heffalump or woozle
is very confuzle
a heffalump or woozle's very sly, sly, sly, sly." -Heffalumps and Woozles, The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

2. WORD OF THE DAY! 6/4/12.Olmec.

So, Red Jaguars, Blue Barracudas, Green Monkeys, Orange Iguanas, Purple Parrots, or Silver Snakes?

1. WORD OF THE DAY! 6/7/12. Darth, Time Lord

First of all, I want to hear what you guys thought of this little bit of fan fiction I came up with and I want to know who you think would win, assuming the Doctor has some force sensitivity.

The other thing I want to talk about is Matt Smith. Having watched him for two seasons and two Christmas specials, I have grown attached to the Eleventh Doctor and his companions. I think, at time, Smith can be a little too goofy and he doesn't have the intensity of Eccleston or Tennant, but the performance he brings has a lot of interesting angles and I find his shifts between silly man and time-traveling ancient badass to be quite natural and a little bit more seamless than those of his predecessors. I think Tennant is still my favorite, but another good season with Smith might change my mind.

WORD OF THE DAY! 6/8/12.

hassle [has-uhl]
noun
1. A disorderly dispute.
2. A problem brought about my pressures of time, money, inconvenience, etc.
verb
3. To dispute or quarrel.
4. To take time or effort.

EX. Summer is coming strong ya'll. And remember, don't hassle the Hoff.

Did you know that in The Spongebob Squarepants Movie (2004) that they built a giant David Hasselhoff model and dragged it through the water to create the effect of the scene where Hasselhoff carried Spongebob and Patrick on his back?