Sunday, April 1, 2012

WORD OF THE DAY! 4/1/12. Part. 2

werewolf [wair-woolf]
noun
1. Shape-shifters who change from the shape of a disgustingly oiled up muscle fetishist to an overgrown German Shepherd, these lycanthropes or "Children of the Moon", are alpha predators and are, like, totally more awesome than vampires. They are obviously archenemies because...um....they both eat like meat and stuff and you can't have two alpha predators nope. You can't have panthers, crocodiles, boas and humans running about in the same environment! They'd become ARCHENEMIES!

These fuzzy form shifting critters pass their curse through biting other humans after taking them out on a date to Arby's. Sure, they didn't pay for the meal, but you know they'll get back later or at least be able to get the newspaper for you or dig up your yard.

These sweaty duwopping creatures have a variety of useful powers in their ever-growing quest to eject vampires from their territories in the proverbial cat-fight between them:

The ability to turn into an overgrown dog.

The ability to make cute barky noises when communicating with each other.

The ability to chase their own tail, lick their own junk, and shake paws.

Wolf-senses. Like spider-senses but more wolfy.

The ability to imprint themselves onto humans, including infants, aka mark them for mating, in a bizarre pre-rape act that is totally legit and not some bizarre cop out on the author's part.

Foreheads that protect their small Brock-like eyes from the rains of Washington state.

The ability to summon a failed boy-band at will. (Pictured Below).


Their only weakness? Vacuum cleaners.

EX. The werewolf meeting came to a head, with the leader, Fido White-Wind making adorable "Berf brof ruff" noises and then another larger canine making an aggressively whiny, "whimper whine hmmm hmmm..." noise. Teenage girls can't even hold back their laughter at the ineptitude of the event.


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