Monday, March 12, 2012



First, a little about the artists behind some of my favorite youtubers, the Kaplan Bros. I remember the first time I saw one of their videos on youtube. It was Silence! The Musical: Put the F***ing Lotion in the Basket. Silence! The Musical actually got a full treatment. The Brothers Kaplan generally stick to doing spoof musicals of such action films like Robocop and Rambo but Arnold Schwarzenegger is their favority subject. In fact, my favorite youtube video of last year is probably their video, Conan: The Musical or Fright Night: The Musical ("Amy Awake").

But today's subject for ridicule and amusement is not based on Conan the Barbarian (my favorite film soundtrack and Schwarzenegger movie) or Fright Night (my favorite vampire movie). Today's subject is based on arguably the worst thing to happen to Batman since his parents died- and we know how he likes to whine and bitch about that. No, the worst thing that ever happened to Batman can be summed up in two words:


Actually, to be fair, he did apologize for the major letdown of Batman & Robin (1997).

So, I'll forgive him and rather than focusing on the glaring flaws of the movie: the cheesiness, George Clooney as Batman, adult Robin, Batgirl, Alfred getting shot, Uma Thurman giving a super schlocky performance as Poison Ivy, bat nipples, bat credit cards, fights with guys in pink gorilla costumes, and so much more...we'll focus on the unforgettable performance of my favorite action star...

Arnold Schwarzenegger is undeniably the last person I would expect to play the role of, the salvaged by the Animated Series, Mr. Freeze. The character in its most recent iterations have been dark, brooding, and sympathetic. A scientist trying to cure his wife's illness, accidentally mutates himself so he requires a cold temperature, and, in his quest to acquire the cure, becomes a mad super villain driven by love. In the film? He is an unbelievable and insane goof ball who throws out ice-related puns like snowballs...BAZING!

Yet, underneath a heavy frosting of cheese, Arnold actually gives a performance that makes me believe, that if given a little more gravitas and less puns, he could've pulled off a decent dramatic role...I'm serious. There are moments that under all that make-up he manages to express more in a look than he could with a dramatic monologue. Add in the distorted creepy voice from the show, make Poison Ivy more despicable and less annoying, ditch Bane, ditch all the bat crap, ditch Robin, ditch Batgirl, and we could've had a compelling film. 

It is examples like these that even in the worst movies, there are scraps that could be salvaged for future films. If anything, the performance is fun and, because of that, it is still the most memorable part of the film. Besides...the Bat Credit Card.

No comments:

Post a Comment