Wednesday, August 20, 2014

WTF WED! CARRY LIMITS, WONDER CORES, AND SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!


Let's start off the day with something that all of my League of Legends bros will appreciate (special shoutout to my duo queue partner, cShots); a nifty animation about the ludicrosity of carrying six items and a trinket around Summoner's Rift.

As someone who tanks a lot, it is funny to imagine a champ carrying multiple pieces of armor-- like a trolling Wukong wearing six Warmogs?

This is a trope common in any game that let's you stack multiple of the same sorts of items. But hey, the game's core appeals are gameplay and stategy, not realism.


I was walking along the beach with my dog when I saw a strange green light fly across the night sky and collide with the earth with an ear shattering crash. My dog barking, I ran toward the crash site, towards a green glowing light over the next hill and found the wreckage of what appeared to be a strange alien craft. As I approached, the green light was flickering and growing dim...

In the wreckage, a purple alien with green and black armor was pinned under some piece of strange alien metal. Clearly, he had been through more than a crash as his body was covered in these strange glowing wounds. I tried to ask him if he was alright, as if he could speak English, moving to move the metal scrap from his body, without thinking, as my dog watched with anxious whines. The alien reached up and placed a hand on my arm, as I failed to lift the metal, and it looked me in the eyes....

"Do you even lift, bro?"

And ever since that alien died, I have sworn that I will start training my core.... just not today.


Is this what you wanted America?

A CGI to Live Action Spongebob Squarepants movie in 3D, a plot involving super hero jokes, and Antonio Banderas as a cheesy pirate?

Meh.

But still America...

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