Monday, April 20, 2015

MUSIC MON! I WISH I WAS A DISNEY PRINCESS, BUT I'LL TAKE GOAT WARRIOR! (WTF)


My prediction for Frozen 2?

In Disney's desire to cross-promote their various franchises with cross-overs and, in order to ease the American audience into the idea of the X-Men (yes, they will somehow get rights to have the X-Men in their films), they will make Frozen 2 an X-Men film. How do they expect us to take that big pill of awesome? With a big glass of the following:

A few years after the events of the first film, Elsa AKA The Snow Queen, has taken her place as the rightful ruler of Arendelle with her sister, Ana, by her side. Ana and Kristoff have married and have an infant daughter. Meanwhile, Mephisto, a class two demon, Hell-Lord and father of several Marvel characters including Nightcrawler , will return to Norway to take his daughter, ELSA, back under his wing. The true origin of Elsa is revealed:

Elsa and Ana's parents were unable to conceive a child, or so they thought, and turned to dark magic books to solve their problem. Mephisto appeared and made them a child from the snow and promised they would conceive, but said that he will return for a Princess of Arendelle some day. They agreed, deciding they would raise the snow child, and return her to the daemon once they had their own child.

But love, true love for their snow child, made it impossible for them to make the sacrifice. They had another daughter and furthermore could not bare to give her up. They spent years trying to find an alternate solution or help, slipping past Mephisto at every turn as their snow daughter's powers increased, until, finally, he destroyed their ship for their meddling and they were lost at sea.

Now, Mephisto returns to Arendelle for a Princess: Ana or Ana's daughter will do... Then again, Mephisto is always willing strike a deal with the powerful Elsa!

Drama! Action! Super heroes!

Your welcome, Disney.

Call me. XOXO

P.S. I may or may not be suffering from food poisoning and haven't eaten in nearly 18 hours. So, I apologize if nothing I just typed makes sense. Still, Snow Queen could be a bad ass member of the like 1900's European X-Men called the X-Knights or something? You know you want it Disney! Think of the merch!

Finally.

The universe needed a parody of Fran Drescher's klassic sitcom, The Nanny.

Well, maybe not a parody involving a horrible goat man monster grunting and whipping and making disgusting faces. Then again, I guess a horrible baby goat warrior is still more appealing than Fran Drescher's laugh.

Hold your applause. People.


You all knew this kid. In an innocent sort of way, it's cute. I mean the 90's did try to push the stereotype of "the cool black guy" into literally every kid's program or film. It's actually one of those weird examples of a positive stereotype that ultimately winds up hurting everyone because it sets up certain expectations (like "Asians are good at math").

But the older said kid gets, the less cute and more just embarrassing it becomes.

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