Wednesday, September 24, 2014

WTF WED! WE HAVE TO GO TO CHURCH, DISNEYLAND, & SPRINGFIELD!?


What is evil?

Evil is just a four letter word made up by Hallmark to sell holy water to Ma and Pa Excorcism.

I need a drink.


I have a fear of getting lost in big places, especially places with crowds, and even have nightmares about getting lost in place like high schools, malls, and even Disney World.

Which is weird. Because getting lost in Disney world is difficult. Maps are abundant, staff are helpful, and the park was designed to ferry you and your wallet from attraction to attraction, from gift shop to gift shop, and from temporary satisfaction to temporary satisfaction in hopes of filling their coffers with your hard-earned cash. Maybe you walk away with some happy memories. Memories you can escape to for a while when...THE MAN...beats you down with a passive aggressive judgement of your work flow.

Seriously, I need a drink and a smoke.

But I don't drink or smoke.

Instead, I consume and vomit back up entertainment. Bon apetit.


So, did you guys hear about the Family Guy X Simpsons crossover?

Do you understand the immensity of this event? Two animated sitcom families coming together in one place and at one time?! That's never happened. Never! NEVER I SAY!

What do you mean the Flintstones and Jetsons already did it?!

What do you mean literally dozens of tired animated sitcoms have attempted to bridge the gap between disparate worlds in an attempt to fend off the death of cancellation or the undeath of indefinite hiatus, reruns via syndication, and an untimely resurrection in the form of a reboot or, oh gods above, a live-action film!? Oh god. I just want it to end.

What the hell are we doing?! What are they doing?!

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY WAS RIGHT?! TV IS A FLAT CIRCLE!  

EVERY GIMMICK THEY'VE EVER DONE OR WILL DO, THEY'RE GONNA DO OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN! 

I THINK THE HONORABLE THING FOR OUR SITCOMS TO DO IS DENY THE PROGRAMMING. STOP RERUNNING. WALK HAND IN HAND INTO CANCELLATION, ONE LAST PRIMETIME. PRODUCERS AND WRITERS OPTING OUT OF A RAW DEAL.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.....

FRIDAY NIGHTS ON F***ING TBS!

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