Wednesday, March 5, 2014


I unapologetically love Zach Snyder's Watchmen film. There, I said it.

The film is divisive amongst fans of the comics: purists really take it personally that he changed one element from the comic books despite the fact that other argue that this film is one of the purest and most accurate-to-the-source-material representations of a comic book in film history. Some people find the film to be long and boring or were disappointed they didn't change enough or that they took the in-comic comic out of the theatrical version, but other fans appreciate the project and believe it to be one of the best super hero films of all time.

I happen to be a member of the latter group of fans, but my love of this film isn't the reason I posted this cartoon. I posted it because "I'm not stuck on this blog with you, you readers are stuck in here with me!"

Or something to that effect.

What the eff is this? Jontron released two videos in the same month? What witchcraft is this? Perhaps, Jon was right. Perhaps, the Grumps was holding him back from his true potential and he needed to leave to give us the Jontron we deserve. Or perhaps I should just shut up and give a little blurb about the terrible, terrible, terribly film that Jontron shares in this video.

Foodfight was to be the big motion picture opus for Threshold Entertainment, a company later known for their mediocre Lego-related specials, that was set for theaters in 2003. The film's files were stolen, allegedly, and the film was pushed back to 2005, then 2007, before finally being auctioned off for a pittance in 2011 to make a 2012 limited release and then a pitiful place amongst the other failed projects haunting bargain bins across the world.

It stars Charlie Sheen, Wayne Brady, Hilary Duff, and so many other stars. It's also a horrible mess of a film with bad writing and it has some of the worst animation ever made. Putting it over the top from just bad to awful is the fact that it is a feature length advertisement for a variety of grocery store brands with a moral objection to generic brand (which they depict as, basically, Nazis). You want a film that has no merits. This is it.

And you can watch the whole film on youtube...right now. Click HERE.

Hoo boy! Bear with me on this one folks. The first episode isn't the best, but then again, who would expect the first episode of an Abridged series to be the best? Just keep watching and trust me that it gets better.

But what is the series about? Mystery Girlfriend X is a romantic comedy manga and anime series about a boy named Tsubaki and a girl named Urabe. The latter is a strange, quiet girl, who is handy with scissors and sleeps all day during class. Tsubaki somehow winds up tasting Urabe's drool and winds up really sick. Urabe shows up and reveals that he has "love sickness" and the only cure is... more drool. Urabe and Tsubaki then start a strange and often distant relationship with Tsubaki scared and intrigued by Urabe and Urabe seeming to have secret knowledge about the drool and the related events.

The anime is very popular.

Neither I or my friend Zach understand why this anime is popular or what it is about, but this is a very funny abridged series.


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