Thursday, January 2, 2014

WORD OF THE DAY! 1/2/13!

bantling [bant-ling]
noun
1. A very young child, especially an illegitimate bastard or poorly brat.

EX. Oh, the Pokémon Daycare. Is there anywhere more responsible for unwanted, unnecessary, and unseemly procreation in the history of fiction? How many unwanted bits of data have you churned out only to sit in the PC box (might as well be abandoned), be released into the wild (basically abandoned), or hatched, evaluated, and then, far more often than not, abandoned? What happens to these bantlings born of abominable unions between witless parents driven by the magnetism of being of the same egg group to create new life in a multiplayer environment now, thanks to the wonders of Wonder Trade, bloated with mediocre Pokémon?

There was a time when anyone would be happy to receive a Bulbasaur or even an Evee. Natures, IVs, EVs were all extraordinarily niche concerns to only the most hardcore master. But, thanks to the evolution of the sixth generation, the process of making one's Pokémon perfect is stream-lined enough that anything less than a perfect Pokémon is undesirable. Now, unless their newly adopted bantling off of wonder trade is an uber-mon, trainers either essentially delete these unwanted hatchlings from their PC box or send them to a new foster parent.

Damn you Brock.
For more viciously rendered cynical and crude reflections of humanity, check out more comics by Jake Lava at The Floor Is Now Lava. A slight NSFW, as his comics commonly involve adult themes and crude imagery that some may find more offensive than funny.

For a more heartwrenching/warming look at the perils of Pokémon breeding and wonder trading, please check out the following comic about a Bulbasaur bantling by Rolos AKA Renee P.

No comments:

Post a Comment