WTF WED! THE AVENGERS 2: AGE OF PAUL BLART!

EGORAPTOR- AVENGERS CARTOON: THOR'S HAMMER!

I dunno about you geeks, but I'm gonna go see The Avengers: Age of Ultron tomorrow.

The first film was, probably, the biggest franchise game changer since the original Star Wars trilogy by turning the Marvel movie franchise into a few somewhat connected okay to good movies to a legitimate film fandom juggernaut that has spun off into even more films, tv series, and every other studio in Hollywood began stampeding to be the next big success since Marvel combined with Disney's media monopoly monster.

This means that Marvel has a lot riding on this sequel. So far, they haven't really stumbled since the Avengers with success after success, and that means they've got a lot to lose. They'll probably still break all the box office records and secure a very super hero Hollywood for a few more years until people get burned out on it.

Or not!

ADHD- AVENGERS AND OLD MAN!

 Personally, I don't think super heroes or super hero moves have to get old because of the level of different subgenre and genre hybridization that the medium of super heroes allows and has allowed over decade after decade of comics.

ADHD- HULK RUNS ERRANDS! 

Then again, while "true believers" and other comic fans don't sway in their excitement for every super hero movie on the horizon, the general public doesn't have the same taste.

So, if you want to keep seeing the super hero hype train for for another decade, join me and the rest of the world in celebrating the sequel to the original Avengers film.

OR YOU COULD GO WATCH "BLART!"

WORD OF THE DAY! 10/23/14!

AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON OFFICIAL TEASER!

blockbuster [blawk-bus-ter]
noun
1. An aerial bomb containing high explosive, usually weighing several tons, meant for use as a large-scale demolition bomb.
2. A motion picture or novel, especially with lavish production, meant to appeal to a wide audience and/or achieve financial success.
3. Something or something that is forcefully or overwhelmingly impressive, effective, or influential.

EX. So, Marvel had planned to show the first teaser for Age of Ultron during next week's new episode of ABC's Agents of Shield, but it appears that "someone at Hydra" leaked the teaser about a week early. Rather than just wasting resources to try and contain the leak, much to the excitement of Marvel fans everywhere (and probably at the cost of some good cross marketing with Agents of Shield), they decided to release an official trailer.

After seeing the trailer, I can safely say that Age of Ultron is going to be the blockbuster to beat in 2015. I expect it to demolish the competition, break records, and make Disney even more money to put away in their vaults where they store the Disney classics like Snow White and Fox and the Hound.

I wanna end by stating that best part of the trailer, in my opinion, is James Spader's Ultron. I know we all love Hiddleston's Loki, but I think we're excited to see a different kind of villainy.

MIXED BAG! THOR: THE DARK WORLD REVIEW! + WORD OF THE DAY! 12/5/13!

Asgard [az-gard]
noun
1. Norse mythology. The home of the Aesir and location of Valhalla and the palaces of the individual gods: connected with the earth by the rainbow bridge, Bifrost.

EX. During the blog's hiatus, I finally got to watch Thor: The Dark World and I have to say that Marvel Studios has really found a good formula for their super hero films, especially impressive considering they pull off good sequels, and Thor 2 really left me wanting to spend another two hours in Asgard. Like the film, let's keep this review short and bearable (also like the awful joke at the top of the article).

WHO'S BETTER? THOR OR LOKI?

As a big sci-fi blockbuster for the whole family, Thor: The Dark World hits the right spots with an interesting, though often convoluted & underplayed plot, adventures in rich and visually fascinating worlds beyond our own, and all manner of monsters & machinery for our hero to smash and be smashed by in the course of the film. The special effects are right on par with The Avengers (2012) that set the bar with it's massive destruction and monster effects that make it the best, sort of big and dumb in the best sort of way, super hero movie of all time. But it's not the special effects that makes this movie stand out.

Starting with Iron Man (2008), the strongest asset of Marvel Studios has to be their casting department. Not just anyone can prance around in a simultaneously cool, iconic, and ridiculous costume, spouting off one-liners, and giving personality to a character with decades of material to work with-- without pissing off the fans. The casting of the Asgardians, with actors like Idris Elba, Rene Russo & Anthony Hopkins,  who can pull off the grandiose personalities of these god-like fantasy characters, is what makes this film great and, with better writing and more time spent amongst these character in Asgard, is what puts The Dark World above it's predecessor.

Especially, the casting of Chris Hemsworth as Thor and Tom Hiddleston as Loki (pictured in a ridiculous poster for the film in China), the latter of which has managed to practically steal the franchise. The brotherly dysfunction between Thor and Loki really carries the franchise, from moments of surprisingly genuinely stirring emotion created from their conflict to duo comedy with Loki playing off of Thor as the perfect straight man. I'm not sure where, but I think Loki once called Thor the "biggest, sweetest idiot in all the nine realms". Thor needs Loki as a foil to make his films more than just Thor bashing monsters for two hours and Loki needs Thor to have someone he can fool again and again. This is the foundation of the franchise and it really shines in this buddy brother movie.

Now, let's talk about the film's two small hang-ups that keep it from being the same sort of perfect experience as The Avengers; the underused villain and the overused mortals. The former is a more forgivable flaw because getting villains right can be difficult in these sorts of films, Loki being a special case himself, and the Thor films really just needs to give Thor an obstacle to overcome to build a plot. Yet, the Dark Elves were quite well-designed, with their albino creeper doll armor, cursed monster forms, and awesome blade themed ships. It would've been good to get to understand Malekith (Christopher Eccleston), so when Thor inevitably fights him we have some extra motivation to root for Thor. Or something. There was no "puny god" moment in Thor: The Dark World. The bigger flaw is the overuse of Natalie Portman's Doctor Foster and the equally frustrating scientist characters on Earth. They weren't awful, but they take up an obnoxious percentage of the film's run time that could've been better utilized on other elements such as Malekith. The film could've taken place completely in Asgard and stayed far away from Earth, maybe with a little scene where he goes to Earth at the end, and would've probably found it's place as the best Marvel film next to The Avengers.

All in all, Thor the Dark World is a film that any fan of the Marvel Studios franchises will find well worth the ticket of admission. The trip to Asgard is worth it.

Pretty frickin' sweet. 4/5.

WEEKLY ROUND-UP! SEP. 30 - OCT. 6 2013!

WEEKLY ROUND-UP PRESENTS

JUGGALOS WEEK!

7. WORD OF THE DAY! 10/1/13! Spoiler.

For all of those, including myself, who had the ending to Breaking Bad ruined for them by the internet and the like, I have a message for those responsible: "F*** YOU AND YOUR EYEBROWS!"

6. WORD OF THE DAY! 10/2/13! Herculean.

SHUFFLIN' THIS SHUFFLE!
SHUFFLIN' THIS SHUFFLE!
SHUFFLIN' THIS SHUFFLE! 
SHUFFLIN' THIS SHUFFLE!

5. WORD OF THE DAY! 9/30/13! Mighty.

Mighty No. 9 reached all of its kickstarter goals and will be hitting all platforms by sometime in early 2015. This is a great example of crowdfunding at its finest! What's next?

4. WORD OF THE DAY! 10/3/13! Balrefire.

Well, it is a measly four days until the release of X & Y and I get my Chespin & Charmander as my starters on my next Pokémon journey.

3. MUSIC MON! POGO'S CATCHATRONIC, DUCKS IN OUTERSPACE, & ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER'S HUNGER GAMES!

I don't have to explain anything! BWAHAHAHA!

2. WTF WED! GAY ARNOLD & THOR GO TO THE CANDY SHOP FOR PEZ DISPENSORS & LOLLIPOPS!

I do what I want (in a manner that is legal and in consideration of myself, my friends, and my family, as well as my future).

1. WORD OF THE DAY! 10/5/13! Powder puff. POKÉLEAKS #1

SPOILER WARNING!

The last article I posted before a busy weekend was on the latest Pokémon info and some leaked info in the form of the final forms of the Generation 6 starters. After reviewing the results, I'm Team Chespin!

WTF WED! GAY ARNOLD & THOR GO TO THE CANDY SHOP FOR PEZ DISPENSORS & LOLLIPOPS!

GAY ARNOLD!

This is one of those things that I was concerned that I only I could enjoy-- as both a big fan of Hey Arnold! and a general weirdo who enjoys abridged voice acting stuff-- but this won't over pretty big at my latest hangout with the gang. In fact, they insisted we watch it twice! This is the sort of thing that is offensive to some and just weird to others, but I found the whole thing so funny that I gotta admire the suggestion that there be more stuff on youtube like this.

We've had our abridged animes and rifftrax, but I want to see my favorite cartoons given the same treatment. Just take like the weirdest episodes of any given Nicktoon, of which there were many, and you have comedy gold on your hands.

THOR CANDY!

This is a slam dunk sorta video that, perhaps if it had been more timely near the release of the original film or The Avengers, I wouldn't be surprised to see it catapulted to the status of viral hit with it's creative format, great set-up, and amazing performance from good ol' Stamper.

I like Thor but is has it's problems. It is directed by one of my favorite directors and has a bizarrely chosen mix of top tier actors giving Shakespearean performances, usually as the most minor roles in the film, and over the top scenery chewing from the rest. But that's great. I've always found Anthony Hopkins performance to be the perfect fit for this kitshy sword & sorcery film.

DOCTOR LOLLIPOP, UNICORN DOCTOR!

Last but not least is the latest lovely bit of animation from Cartoon Hangover, Doctor Lollipop, mixing the mashed up bits of medical drama satire and fairy tale frippery into a fine paste to fix our sweet tooths. This candy-coated creation fits right into the catalog of cartoons produced in the past by Cartoon Hangover and, with a cast of talking critters and fairy tale folk, I'm excited to see what quirky cases our equine quack takes on next in his medical quest.

And that's all folks. Do you like spiders?

WORD OF THE DAY! 9/10/13!

frolic [frol-ik]
noun
1. Fun, especially silly fun, merriment, gaiety, etc.
2. A party or shindig.
3. A prank or gag.
4. Playful behavior.
verb
5. To gambol about merrily, to act in frisky, light-spirited manner; a good romp.
6. To engage in party, merriment, fun, etc.

EX. Sometimes, you just gotta frolic. Like a moron. Especially like a moron. Sometimes you gotta frolic like a moron.

WORD OF THE DAY! 5/9/13!

bifröst [bi-frawst]
noun
1. Norse mythology. The burning rainbow bride between Midgard (the world of men AKA Earth) and Asgard (kingdom of the gods). The bridge ends at the home of the god Heimdallr, who guards it from jotnar (giants), but, according to the Ragnorak cycle, it's destruction will foretell the coming of the end.

EX. Bifröst = Rainbow Road.

WORD OF THE DAY! 3/30/13!

rod [rod]
noun
1. Cryptozoology. A term used to refer to elongated artifacts in the form of light-rods produced by cameras. Videos of these objects moving through the air have been alleged to be alien life forms, "extradimensional" creatures, and/or very small UFOs. Subsequent experiments have shown that these objects appear in film because of an optical illusion (often created in interlaced video) and are typically traces of a flying insects, bird, and bat wing beats-- hence why these cryptids are often spotted near caves and other areas frequented by these creatures.

EX. Is the picture up top a "rod?" Short answer. No. Long answer. There are a number of more plausible theories that could explain the image; it could be an error or malfunction, something on the lens, a piece of an aircraft, or some other sort of earthly object trapped or falling through the atmosphere like a kite. Must acquire more information...

WTF WED! THOR LOVES LOKI & JON LOVES ARIN & INTERNET LOVES CAT!

ONEYNG'S THOR N' LOKI

First up we've got a completely untimely and yet... somehow perfectly prompt toon from the mind factories of OneyNG (Hellbenders) about every filmgoer's favorite half-brother demigods, Thor and Loki. In the vein of a recently internet sucessful vidja Wingardium Leviosa Harry Potter toon, it starts off with a simple pun or play on words before snowballing into an avalanche of WTF.

GAMES GRUMPS- "ARIN I LOVE YOU!"

Speaking of two brothers from another mother, I've got a classy Game Grumps fanimation about Jontron's and Egoraptor's... relationship. You might recognize the audio clip from a previously featured installment of Music Mon mentioning the scene where Egoraptor AKA Arin Hanson (who is engaged to a lovely Soozie Goose) loses his mind over a glitch in the terrible game Sonic '06 (that is currently in its 79th 10-20 min. installment). Check that scene out HERE.

SAD CHINESE PHARMACY CAT

And last but not least, in our grammatically awkward WTF Wed article, we've got a look at a another WTF video from Japan-- wait what? It's from CHINA?! WTF China...seriously? Anywho, the video is about a tabby cat going on adventure to find a herb to save his mistress's life only for it to turn out to be a pharmacy ad. Go figure.

 

WEEKLY ROUND-UP! 2/4-2/10/13!

WEEKLY ROUND-UP PRESENTS

THE INCREDIBLE BEYONCE WEEK!

7. WORD OF THE DAY! 2/4/13. Pokeathelon.

Well, we Pokemon fans may agree and/or disagree on many different things about the franchise-- from which generation is the best to whether or not competitive or causal matters more to the structuring of the series-- but we can all agree on one thing; Bidoof sucks. The nicest thing you can say is he evolves into a good HM-slave. Sad.

6. MUSIC MON! UNICORNS VS. SLENDERMAN: THE CAKENING!

Don't have a ton to say but-- BAKE ME A CAKE! BAKE ME A CAKE! BAKE ME A CAKE! BAKE ME A CAKE! BAKE ME A CAKE! BAKE ME A CAKE! BAKE---

5. WTF WED! BIRD MESSENGERS, CAT NINJAS, AND NOAH AKA "STRONGEST THERE IS!"

 "OH! ITS BREAD-CHESTED BLUEJAY!"

4. WORD OF THE DAY! 2/6/13. どうもありがとうございました。

 I got to talk about Naruto? That is worthy of pause. Speaking of which, I really, really, really need to get caught up with Shippuden.

3. WORD OF THE DAY! 2/8/13! Forsooth!

I love when a pic/comic inspires the creative fun like the kind seen in this article. Also, Neil deGrasse Tyson is frickin' awesome!

2. MIXED BAG. THE ULTIMATE SUFFERING OF EGORAPTOR

This was a weird little thing I did in about thirty minutes-- take it or leave it.

1. MIXED BAG. TABLETOP TALES: SMALLWORLD REVIEW!

This was my second board game review and I think I did a decent enough job. If you have any comments, I'm always looking to improve my blog.

WORD OF THE DAY! 2/8/13!

forsooth [fawr-sooth]
expression
1. In truth, in fact, indeed, etc.

EX. "So, if I hit you before you hit me with your hammer then I am worthy to learn the Kaio-Ken from King Kai and you'll take me out for Shawarma?"Goku asked, a clear gleam of enthusiasm splashed across his gormless face as he stretched his legs and watched the blond god.

"Forsooth, Son Goku," Thor nodded, cranking his wrist to spin his hammer to build up speed, "Forgive me if I strike you down, mortal. The Kai King has promised that in your state I could do you no more harm than being dead. Now,"He gestured and Goku began to run at full spring, Thor counting to three, and tossing his mighty Mjolnir, "Have at thee!"

He slung his hammer and, rather than hear the familiar collision of Uru on bone, he saw an orange shape coping back over the horizon and catch his hammer.

As the inscription on the hammer says, "Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall posses the power of Thor."

And you can be that Goku would be worthy.

P.S. Chiaotsu is not a Pokemon.

WORD OF THE DAY! 11/8/12.

amalgam [uh-mal-guhm]
noun

1. An alloy of mercury with another metal or metals.

2. An alloy that consists chiefly of silver mixed with mercury and variable amounts of other metals and is used as a dental filling.

3. A rare mineral, an alloy of silver and mercury, occurring as silver-white crystals or grains.

4. A mixture or combination.

 

EX. I think that a group of friends in lame Avengers costumes were trying out an experiment using a time machine and became the amalgamous abomination that is "The Incredibly Furious Hawkeyed Iron Thunder God of America!"

WORD OF THE DAY! 7/23/12.

status quo [stat-uhs-kwoh}
noun
1. The existing state or condition.

EX. This post helps return me within the status quo held by the blog for months.