NERDCULTURE SMACKDOWN! POKÉMON OF THE WEEK! MAR 16-MAR 22/13!

#434 STUNKY & #435 SKUNTANK

Well, I'm afraid to say, today I've got a couple of Pokéstinkers on my Pokéledger and, if I don't talk about them, I'll be violating my Pokécontract. *cough* I suppose if there is anything positive about the situation is that  I wasn't expecting them, but then again you never expect to have skunk roll up under your house and die... until it happens.

LAST WEEK'S POKÉMON OF THE WEEK: #382 KYOGRE, #383 GROUDON, & #384 RAYQUAZA

WORD OF THE DAY! 3/16/13!

heart palpitation [hart-pal-pi-tehy-shuhn]
noun
1. The unusually or abnormally rapid and/or violent beating of the heart.

EX. I do find it sort of ironic that Spoink would need to having his heart palpitate to live and that, without bouncing about, his little ticker just stops. Pokémon can have really crappy survival risks; we all remember that if Charmander's tail fire goes out...he'll die

WORD OF THE DAY! 3/15/13!

pontiff [pon-tif]
noun
1. A former title of the pagan high priest of Rome, later used by popes and other bishops, and now exclusively used by the pope.

EX. "A-Laddies and a-gentlemenz! May I uh-introduza the new pontiff! Pope Sloth III!"

MIXED BAG. PRESENTS CAVE STORY REVIEW!

MIXED BAG. PRESENTS

CAVE STORY REVIEW

DOWNLOAD CAVE STORY HERE

Developer: Studio Pixel
System: PC, MAC,  Linux, Nintendo DS, Wii, and 3DS
Genre: Side-Scrolling Platformer/Action/Adventure

WORD OF THE DAY! 3/14/13!

grunt [gruhnt]
noun
1. Slang. A soldier, especially low ranking soldier or infantryman.

EX. I always wanted to play a game as a Team Rocket Grunt.Well, I always wanted that as an option. Well, wait, let me explain. The idea of Pokémon Black & White being titles in the game series have been bouncing around since as long as I can remember, at least before Pokémon Gold & Silver were known by young fans like myself. Except, in my imagination, the game wasn't just a generation leap forward-- in fact, such an idea as adding like a hundred new Pokémon wasn't something I really considered to be the main draw of each sequel. I thought the sequels would be like Pokémon Yellow and focus on telling a story in Kanto, the setting of the original games and the original anime, that had not been told yet. I thought it would be cool if, rather than just being a Pokémon trainer, they had a game that focuses on the struggle between the Pokémon Police and Team Rocket. In Pokémon Black, you would be a Team Rocket Grunt who works his way through the ranks to become the Head of the Organization and, in Pokémon White, you are a Police recruit who works their way up to saving the world from a big Team Rocket scheme. Instead of starting with Charmander, Bulbasaur, or Squirtle, you would start with Pokémon that matched your theme, ex. Team Rocket Grunts would start out with like an Ekans or Koffing, perhaps, and Police recruits would start out with Growlithe.

And, now that I'm older, I wanted Pokémon: The Departed-- getting older means getting a lot more silly, I suppose.

WTF WED! MY LITTLE SPANISH SWIMMING PONY ANIME DS!

WTF WEDNESDAY PRESENTS

ASK JAPPLEACK

So, I know you crazy cats liked MY PONY.MOV SERIES ARTICLE and so, when I found out that there was another piece of media related to the series-- I HAD TO SHARE (cuz unlike Jappleack, I can share). The tumblr page starts out a simple, though often NSFW/abusive Ren & Stimpy style look into this delightful fan character, it quickly evolves and snowballs until it becomes a webcomic that actually spills the beans on "Applejack"'s adventures to save the multiverse she was on during the events of the other .MOV videos. BROHOOF!

SPANISH FOR EVERYONE DS INTRO

This is the single most racist premise filled with racist innuendo that I have ever seen disguised as a children's video game-- in fact, it goes beyond offensive and goes straight into legendary troll territory! Clearly, the makers of this game were either dissatisfied with their work or just massive bastardos. I recommend searching and watching/reading the other segments you can find on youtube, including the conclusion where Shawn becomes a drug mule.

"ANIMATION DO SEXY SWIMMING" AKA "THE SWIMMING ANIME"

You should click HERE to watch the video. This one is for the ladies, guys who like guys, otaku, casual anime fans, and internet citizens like myself with a bizarre sense of humor-- starting out as a simple promotional anime project from Kyoto Animation that was simply a short video, in the style of many similar videos/ music videos we generally get of original female characters all the time, and that's where things go nuts.

It seems that a simple short about four attractive/cute/sexy/attach additional adjectives that might apply etc. teenage boys swimming, drying off, and horsing around with each other around a pool has sent the internet (4chan & Tumblr) into a tizzy with fans foaming at the mouth as if bit by some new rabid fascination. Within a few hours, fan art, fan fiction, fan pairings, and so much more filled up the fan forums and girls/boys of the Internet rejoiced over the existence of new internet deities that were blanks vessels to attach personalities/relationships/backstories.

In fact, there is a petition to make this an anime. Personally, I just find the creation of cute anime characters and mascots to be fascinating and wish we had that sort of fun in America-- everything from porta-potties to precincts have their own mascots and cute nifty animations like this one are made all the time. All we get is crappy commercials about talking babies...

P.S. It's fine if you don't like this and/or don't get why I/others find it amusing. That's okay. That's sort of the entire point of WTF Wed. If you enjoyed this article, I highly recommend you search my blog for past WTF articles.

WORD OF THE DAY! 3/13/13!

comeback [kuhm-bak]
noun

1. A return to a former higher rank, popularity, position, prosperity,etc.

2. A clever or effective retort; rejoinder; riposte.

3. Informal. A basis or cause of complaint.

EX. Looks like the classic Pokémon anime series from our childhood is getting a bit of a comeback in the form of flashbacks, the return of several popular characters, and cameos from Mewtwo and Charizard. The anime has changed a lot in a decade and a half and this becomes clear in the flashbacks that were reanimated for a recent episode of the anime where Charizard returns to help Ash out in defeating a Dragonite (and no Charizard is not a Dragon type, instead he is Fire/Flyingm which, even to this day, is a mistake and should've been retconned at some point).

A quick summary of Ash's relationship with Charizard-- abused and abandoned by his original owner, Ash saved the Pokémon's life and built a bond with it. Unfortunately, as Charmander quickly evolved into Charmeleon and then Charizard and, like a rebellious teenager, he had a big attitude problem that made him disobey Ash until either his pride was challenged or Ash's life was put in danger. Eventually, Ash managed to earn Charizard's friendship and the fan-favorite made several returns to help Ash fight difficult challenges (such as fighting an Articuno!). Fans are ecstatic to see Charizard return to help Ash out and , what really makes this return special, is the extended flashback that shows off their relationship/how the anime has evolved in style.

Check out the video linked below, which is in Japanese but I think the video transcends language because of nostalgia, and then look at the side-by-side comparison I've posted beneath it.

ASH'S CHARIZARD RETURNS!

WEEKLY ROUND-UP! 3/4-3/10/13!

WEEKLY ROUND-UP PRESENTS

MEWTWO RETURNS...AGAIN WEEK

7. WORD OF THE DAY! 3/5/13! Festoon.

We still do not know Ninfia AKA Sylveon's typing and no other Pokémon X & Y spoilers or even solid rumors have emerged in a week. Therefore, we also don't know what its bows are for either.

6. WORD OF THE DAY! 3/7/13! Disintegrate.

Speaking of disintegration, am I the only one that sees all the awesome Cartoon Network shows that are being canceled or retired in their prime?

5. WORD OF THE DAY! 3/10/13! Beeper.

Expanded Side Note: Bob Pataki was a close-minded workaholic bully who's greed, pride, and gluttony constantly threatened the welfare of his friends and family-- and his own health!

4. WTF WED! WTF WED! CHIPMUNKS HUNTING FOR DRAGON POKÉBALLS!

I don't gotta apologize for jack**** when it comes to this previous week's WTF triple feature meal deal that ranged from benign to bizarre-- with Two Men & A Chipmunk, Kentucky Fried Dragon Balls, and a big ol' bowl of Pokébullocks.

3. MUSICAL MON! CAVE STORY W/ LYRICS!

DOWNLOAD THIS GAME & ENGLISH LANG. PACK FOR FREE! Avail. on Nintendo DS & Wii-- also PC & MAC.

2. WORD OF THE DAY! 3/9/13! Double Standard.

I liked Anita Sarkeesian's even-handed approached to the first video in here series but I also agree with criticism from commentators like the Amazing Atheist about why she should enable comments.

1. POKÉMON OF THE WEEK! 

#382 KYOGRE, #383 GROUDON, & #384 RAYQUAZA

Not much needs to be said about Pokémon of the Week-- but I want to talk about it anyways. I rather enjoying writing these rather casual articles that combine my relationship with the franchise, with various levels of nostalgia, a smidgin of research, some criticism, and some laughs that ultimately serve to continue to remind me about why I love the series; I love the Pokémon (except for, and yet somehow, including Bidoof).

WORD OF THE DAY! 3/12/13!

NPC [en-pee-see] / Non-Player Character [non-pley-er-ker-ik-ter]
noun
1. Any character in a video game not controlled by a player, most often in a RPG or MMORPG, and usually serves a utilitarian function.

EX. Ha! I'm not an NPC! I'm an unused asset. Wait... Now, I'm sad. What was that?

RPG HEROES ARE JERKS

Someone just came in and broke my furniture to look for hearts and now they're crouching down behind my couch and-- hm... maybe that was the wind.

WORD OF THE DAY! 3/11/13!

damfool [dam-fool]
noun
1. A person who is exceptionally stupid or foolish.

EX. Watch the Game Grumps Animated I linked below or I will feel like a damfool. (Seriously, this one if pretty amazing in it's visual style & scope)

GAMEGRUMPS FANIMATED- FOOL

MUSICAL MON! BOOMHAUER'S SONOVOX VS. TALI: QUARIAN DISNEY PRINCESS!

MUSICAL MONDAY PRESENTS

BOOMHAUER- DUST IN THE WIND REMIX

First up in our Monday injection of musical marinade into your earholes is a delightful King of the Hill remix. It takes the wise words of Boomhauer and turns them into a gamboling tune(since most of his wisdom seems to come from song lyrics and the like). My favorite part is the classic response from Hank that came to color is personality more than all the rage of the early seasons when he says, "Well, that's what we tell ourselves. Isn't it, Boomhauer?"

SCARY VOICES TO DELIGHT & TRAUMATIZE CHILDREN

Next on the roster is a lovely shot of nostalgia from brentalfloss's chum Dave Bulmer with a look at an album that haunts (for better or worse) his childhood. The video comes with a little history about a piece of audio equipment you might not have heard of, the Sonovox, which simulates an instrument's sound into words-- something simultaneously creepy and fascinating-- and is strewn with a sense of genuine nostalgia on the part of our host as he talks about Sparky's Magic Piano. Enjoy.

MASS EFFECT 3 CITADEL DLC *SPOILERS* TALI SINGS?!

Last but not least, we got a Disney Princess-like song sung by everyone's (well, at least amongst my friends) favorite romantic partner in the Mass Effect series, Tali vas Normandy. The scene is from the latest DLC for Mass Effect 3 and, if I may say so, is an "adorkable" moment between Shepherd and Tali.

BONUS: ME2: MORDIN "SCIENTIST SALARIAN"

WORD OF THE DAY! 3/10/13!

beeper [bee-per]
noun
1. A pager; a pocket-size electronic device whose signal notifies a person of an important message, sometimes displaying the telephone number to be called.

EX. You guys know what makes video game sidekicks, especially the ones in Legend of Zelda and especially Fi, so obnoxious? Unlike the obnoxious bleeping noises that Link hears when he is low on health, these sidekicks put a face to the annoyance of having characters patronize you with information that nobody would need to have explained to them at every turn or annoying calls just for the sake of it. Having a Legend of Zelda sidekick is like having a beeper in 2013-- it's unnecessary and should be thrown out ASAP unless you're a frickin' video game surgeon or drug dealer.

Also, speaking of beepers:

BIG BOB'S BEEPERS!

SIDE NOTE: I'm sure everyone else realized that Bob Pataki was emotionally abusive & Miriam was a drunk.