Saturday, September 10, 2011

NERD CULTURE SMACKDOWN! #1 POKEMON GENERATIONS.






NERD SMACKDOWN PRESENTS

POKEMON: GENERATIONS

All Five Generations of Pokémon Starters*.


"My Name is Oak. People affectionately refer to me as the Pokémon Professor. This world is inhabited far and wide by creatures called 'Pokémon'. For some people Pokémon are pets. Others use them for battle. As for myself, I study Pokémon as a profession. But first tell me a little bit about yourself. Now tell me, are you a boy or a girl? Let's begin with your name. What is it? Right, so your name is Blue. This is my grandson. He's been your rival since you both were babies. Ohj, what's his name now? Er, was it Gary? That's right. I remember now. His name is Gary. Blue, your very own Pokémon legend is about to unfold. A world with dreams and adventures of Pokémon awaits. Let's go!"-Professor Oak, Pokémon Blue

How good was 1998? Pokémon Blue & Red were in the hands of millions of boys and girls from Tokyo to Timbuktu. The games, anime and cards, as well as all the other merchandise became a phenomenon. Nintendo had brought their biggest franchise since Mario to the fold. It was awesome. The first 150 Pokémon were beloved characters that almost all the children I knew loved and still love today. Those games were followed up by Yellow, which I loved to play on my Super Gameboy

In 1999, rumors and news started spilling in about a whole new game with a completely new generation of Pokémon.  It was about this point that some people declared Pokémon to be a wavering fad. Instead, this started a tradition that has led to, after 13 years, 5 generations, 3 main series titles per generation (still pending on one for 5th gen), tons of spin-offs and remakes and one of the biggest video game franchises of all time. A new Pokémon game is guaranteed to be a best seller. It prints money!

But with 5 generations? Which are the best? The follow is a break down of my ranking of the five generations, an explanation, and analysis. Every generation has good Pokémon and bad Pokémon. This is more related to my personal taste and feel for each gen.

First, lets break down the main series.
Generation 1 includes: Blue, Red, Yellow and 151 Pokémon.

Generation 2 includes: Gold, Silver,Crystal and 100 Pokémon.

Generation 3 includes: Ruby,Sapphire and Emerald and 135 Pokémon.

Generation 4 includes: Diamond,Pearl,Platinum and 107 Pokémon.

Generation Five includes: Black, White and 156 Pokémon.

5th Place: 3rd Generation
This generation feels extremely generic, to me, and suffers because of poor coloring. On one hand, I really like the game mechanics added in 3rd Generation and Emerald was a great game but in the end, I found everything just feels "blech". 
Worst Pokemon of 3rd Gen?
Luvdisc won out over Chimecho and Minun/Plusle because Luvdisc is really just another water type and its design is terrible. Probably the laziest of all of the designs and leaves nothing to be desired. It is the worst of the lazy filler Pokémon.
Best Pokemon of 3rd Gen?
Aggron is awesome. He is a successor to a long line of awesome pokemon, originating with Nidoking and Nidoqueen. Its a bada** dinosaur with metal armor. It's like a samurai. It has a pretty sweet movepool and typing. I love Aggron. He only beats out Ludicolo because he is a little cooler.

4th Place: 2nd Generation
I remember fondly enjoying 2nd generation but it has a couple of faults. Several cool looking Pokémon from this generation, ex. Ampharos, were given terrible stats and move pools. Other Pokémon, less deserving, like Miltank destroyed everything. The coloring was only a little better than 3rd Generation.
Worst Pokemon of 2rd Gen?
While I liked the idea of pre-evolutions of  some pokemon that would allow you to get a Pokémon like Electabuzz earlier through training Elekid (who I like), in general, baby Pokémon brought NOTHING to the table. Igglybuff is hideous, poorly designed and useless. Pichu sucks, but at least it is cute.
Best Pokemon of 2nd Gen?
I was torn between Ampharos (under powered), Tyranitar (overpowered) and this guy. Why is Hercaross special? He looks cool, he has a great typing, great movepool, great stats and a great name. Most importantly, he is an embodiment of the spirit of the game. Pokémon was based on the idea of Japanese boys loving to collect bugs, especially beetles. CROSS! HERACROSS!

3rd Place: 1stGeneration
This is super controversial but allow me explain. Most people love the original 150  Pokémon. I loved them. Before I had any games or cards, I bought a book, containing just the original 150  Pokémon. I read it too death. Literally. I had to buy a new copy to replace it. So why does 1st place 3rd? The main reason is it sets up a lot of bad ideas, like the Magnemites and Dugtrios. The real reason is that I really love the mechanics and Pokémon of 4 and 5 just a little more.
Worst Pokemon of 1st Gen?
 Probably the most controversial Pokémon of all time, Jynx was disliked because people thought she looked like a person in black face. I don't really get that, if anything it is a Japanese Ganguro Girl, which is more of a parody of the Californian girl. I dislike Jynx because she is just horrifically designed. If you look at this gen without nostalgia glasses Jynxx is actually better designed than say, Dugtrio or Magneton, but in the end is just hideous.

Best Pokemon of 1st Gen? 
 I have always loved Golduck. He just looks cool. He evolves from from Psyduck, who is generally one of the cutest, in the way ugly dogs are cute, Pokémon of all time. Yet, why does he beat out Charizard, Mewtwo and Blastoise. Kappa is the word. He is based on one of my favorite Japanese myths, the Kappa.

2nd Place: 5th Generation
Pokemon Black and White are the best Pokemon games made so far. 5th generation has the advantage of being the biggest generation since the 1st and being completely separate from the other 4. Yet it fails because it has many of the same faults as 1st generation. I really love this generation but for its major strengths, it has weaknesses.
Worst Pokemon of 5th Gen?

In an attempt to be more like 1st generation we get the lamest thing since Magneton. Look at that! Its not even a little creative. They literally start with one design for Klink, which kinda sucks. Add some stupid gears, which really sucks. And then a ring and by this point, it needs to go away! The main weakness of 5th generation is it tries too hard to recapture 1st generation.
Best Pokemon of 5th Gen?
 
I have always had a fondness for Pokemon with snouts. Since Mankey, they have held a special place in my heart. Furthermore, I love fire starters. I have played with a fire starter since the first generation. So is Emboar the best fire start? Not really. He is slow but that makes him unique. He is a bulk fire/fighting type. He has a good movepool and shows off how by 5th generation Pokemon have evolved into ever more creative design. I think Pokemon is better than ever because of....

1st Place: 4th Gen.
4th Generation changed everything. It brought Pokemon to the Nintendo DS and a big decision changed Pokemon strategy forever. The Physical/Special split. This, in my opinion, is the reason why I love 4th Generation. It is when competition got better than ever. As for the Pokemon of this generation, there are too many awesome pokemon to list off.
Worst Pokemon of 4th Gen?
I think it is an almost unanimous decision. Despite the fact that 4th generation has a lot of great pokemon, it also has the single worst of all time. Bidoof is f***ing terrible! I hate you. I hate you Bidoof. You are just another rodent pokemon. You are normal type. You look stupid. You are useless. We all hate you. Go away.

Best Pokemon of 5th Gen?
This was very hard. I think Torterra is my favorite grass starter, Infernape is the best fire starter, Roserade is flower frickin' Zorro, Togekiss makes up for how terrible Togetic was and I could go on. Why do I give it to Luxray? Well, he looks cool and has a cool name. He is an electric lion. He has a great move pool, physical stats and is just plain cool. He is what Ampharos could've been. A lion to make up for the sheep.

I'm not sure where Pokemon is gonna take us in the next 5 years but I am always going to be a fan! I hope that some day we can see more realistic Pokemon in 3D graphics but on the other hand something about Pokemon just works. It has one of the best formulas in the RPG arena and I will keep coming back for years to com.
Pokehorror!


Word of the Day. 9/10/11


Word of the Day



Famous cryptozoologists.
In the 6th grade I learned this word and instantly wanted it to be my profession. I was still naive and wanted to believe in the possibilities left to be discovered. I thought of traveling to far off places, tracking down the elusive and undiscovered and becoming a zoological hero.

Then as I got older, wiser and more literal, I realized how silly my dream had been. Furthermore, people with this profession are generally viewed by skeptics, such as myself, as buffoons and eccentrics. Basically, only an idiot would call themselves a member of this profession and really mean it. I wanted to be a cryptozoologist.




cryptozoology [krip-toh-zo-ol-uh-jee]
 noun
 
The study of evidence that would seem to point to the existence of, or lead to a search for, creatures whose existence is unproved, such as the Abominable Snowman or the Loch Ness Monster.


The dread macarena monster.

 
cryptid [krip-tid]
noun


Is a creature or plant, whose existence is suggested, but is not recognized by science.





The famous bigfoot picture? I'm 100% positive its a guy in a gorilla suit. The loch ness still? The photgrapher's son admitted on his death bed it was a modified toy submarine. So, cryptozoology is filled with lots of lies and mysteries. But that doesn't mean everyone out there is an evil poacher hoping to get rich off the wishful thinking of others. Sometimes it pays of. For example, the Giant Panda.
  
"What?" You say? Pandas were cryptids? That's right, for years the West heard myths of these creatures and even saw hides. But it wasn't until Mrs. William Harkness, found a cub sleeping in a tree and brought it to Chicago in 1937 that the creature was recognized as existing.

That's right, pandas. Those adorable, fluffy, endangered (rightfully so), evolved into a dead-end, cuddly-wuddly, racoons bears once stood side by side with other crytpids. Other animals believed to be a myth but discovered were the okapi, the megamouth shark, the colecanth, the King Cheetah, the Mountain Gorilla and many more animals that science hadn't recognized. Considered to be the symbol of all cryptids was the coelacanth, a living fossil found alive in 1938 off the coast of South Africa. But the cryptid that finally proved its existance and stands tentacles above the rest is the Giant Squid!


The photo to the right is an amazing picture captured a few years ago. It proves that the giant squid is out there! 


But here is the thing, I am a skeptic. I don't believe in big foot, plesiosaurs, ghosts, vampires, chupacabras or any of that nonsense. But sometimes...sometimes I believe in Gigantopithcus.
 


Gigantopithcus blacki

The largest primate that ever lived, some cryptozoologists believe it is possible that he is still out there. In fact, even most respected zoologists agree it is possible for there to be another large primate undiscovered, and there are few better places to hide that South East Asia. 
The idea of a giant orangutan that is about 8 feet tall when standing on its back legs, with muscles that could tear a car apart and the sharp but gentle mind of a primate is exciting.

Do I think it exists? Not really. But sometimes...I believe.

SCI-FI FANTASY FRIDAY! ACTION SOCIETY #1


Fantasy Friday


I play Dungeons and Dragons every Friday. That is to say I run a 4th Edition Dungeons & Dragons campaign every Friday set in the country of Beniro. As such I've decided to chronicle the hero's adventures from the perspective of different characters my friends play. Each week and each short chapter I will rotate the perspective so you can get a feel for all the characters. I will try my best to capture my friend's characters and the adventures they go on. I might change some elements but know I do it for the story.

A lot of the art I will be using is not credited, so if you know the artist, tell me and I'll label it appropriately.

THE ACTION SOCIETY
BOOK 1
Rise of the White Spider
CHAPTER 1
LORIFAIN

Lorifain, Elven Druid.
              "Whoa. Watch your step." The old dwarf guide reached out and pressed her back to the cave wall.
Lorifain’s eyes followed the torch she had just dropped, breath caught in her throat, as it flipped through air before skittering away into the darkness between themselves and the flicker of light miles below. She looked at the darkness between her, the darkness that had swallowed the torch, and imagined the darkness swallowing her up. Her body went rigid.
"Not a pretty way to go, I would think, miss." The old dwarf snapped her out of her daze. 
"Yessir, I would think not." She smiled, patting his shoulder, "Thank you, kind sir. This is the second time you have had to save my life this morning."
He chuckled, "Don't mention it." He released her arm and looked at the steps ahead of them, "If I don't get you to the bottom, the King won't pay me a copper." He examined the steps ahead of them, as he talked, making sure there were no more missing footholds. She was amazed by how his short legs had no problem keeping his balance and his wide feet seemed to find each foothold with ease. “Though, I appreciate your thanks. Never been thanked by an elf and thought they meant it." He added as an afterthought.
    She watched the begoggled dwarf make his way down the next three steps. Those three steps seemed to take an eternity and each footfall fell on her ears like a boulder smashing against the city below. 

            There was a city below. Miles below the Shale Mountains, in a cavern carved by thousands of skilled hands a thousand years before, lay the Dwarven city of Doktham. Even as she looked down at the city, it was still little more than a name on a map to her. The city had just been a name on a map until the messenger arrived.
A little black bird carried the message. It found her just as she was about attempt to enter the Passage, a deep state of meditation that could last as long as the body, mind and soul could take the stress. If the bird hadn’t made its presence known with a loud peck at the shudders, she probably would’ve been unavailable for months. The little bird had traveled all the way from Red Oak Wood with a message from Sister Ciella. 
            The King of Doktham required a healer and herbalist to come to his city at once. The Order had owed him a favor and so, Lorifain being the closest druid to Doktham, her territory in the Northern Pines, was ordered to fulfill his request. At first, she had considered simply refusing the request with a simple excuse of needing time to traverse the Passage but, alas, she could not lie. She was scared.
            She wasn’t nervous about her own ability. She was an accomplished herbalist, a talented healer and, among all the Acolytes she had met in her admission into the Order, she was the best young druid in Beniro. It was also not as if she did not know how to sling a blade. She had slain a Dire pine bear that had been attacking the Northmen in her woods. She had left the beast to the wood, only taking a tooth as a souvenir she carried in a bag of curiosities on her belt. She was by no means a coward or weakling. To become an Acolyte, is to commit one’s life to nature. Lorifain had endured cold nights waiting for poachers and a twirl of her blade was enough to scare them from her woods. Yet, the idea of going to Doktham terrified of her. Her greatest fear was something she had little experience with. The dark. The true dark.
            Doktham was built miles under the foot hills of the north Shale Mountains. The only way to reach the city at the bottom of the cavern, built by dwarf hands, was to climb down. Luckily, the dwarves had seen fit to build a great stairway that spiraled at a gentle slope for miles down to the city below. It would take half a day to reach the bottom. A half day of walking down a path, a path barely a meter wide, watching for any misstep, and knowing that there was no time to rest. It was such a long way down and it was easy to imagine one falling into the darkness below. Lorifain had already had a close call that morning. 
            She had arrived at sunrise. An old dwarf, Borden, met her at the entrance. He was a guide the king had sent to see her make it to the bottom. He was not the sort of dwarf she had seen before. Most dwarves she had met were fur hunters and dressed like little bears. Borden was wearing boiled leather. Most dwarves she met had great beards braided into ornate and distinct shapes. Borden’s beard was short and white, she wasn’t sure if her had hair, whatever had buried under a leather cap. In fact, he wore so much leather that, with his goggles he wore, she could see his nose to nose to his neck exposed. His fingertips were exposed but so grimy that it was hard to tell where his fingertips began and gloves ended. He had told her two rules,
“Most important, don’t look down. If you have to, make sure it’s to check your footing. It’s my job to look down.” She was grateful for that rule, the latter was even simpler, “Do as I say, when I say it, faster than I can say it.”
            They had made their way up to the top of a nearby hill and he had opened a little door with a whisper of a password. The door had lit up with a symbol of a blue five point star and the stout little man led her into a long hall. He lit a torch and soon they were on the steps. She kept telling herself not to look down. She focused on the wall across from her. She didn’t want to look down but it was inevitable.
            She felt the whole world spin around her. The darkness below seemed to go on forever and was the darkest dark she had ever seen. She had seen dark nights but the stars always saved her. It was almost as if, even with her eyes closed, it couldn’t be darker. In fact, she shut her eyes and reached out to grab Borden’s shoulder. She slipped and fell on her butt. Borden had whipped around and grabbed her arm. 
            She didn’t scream. She couldn’t breathe. It was as if the darkness was all around her and choking her. It was already terrifying enough to feel her legs dangle over the edge but the blackness penetrated her soul. Above ground, she could never experience this sense of dark, this sense of claustrophobia, this sense of hopelessness. She was frozen. 
            She heard Borden hissing and barking orders at her. She didn’t move. She just could see herself falling, sinking into the black waves of the shadow below and sinking down, down into nothingness. Suddenly, her face grew warm and light bled through her eyelids. She opened her eyes, lids flicking open, and she opened her mouth. She took a long gasp of air and panted, as she quickly stood up, back to the wall.
            Borden had shaken his head at this display. He teased her and called her a “damned elf.” She didn’t care. After a few minutes, she apologized for her foolishness and thanked him. He had just chuckled, like the second time, “It’s alright, Miss. I tell everyone not to look. But they do. People should never look until they’re ready.”
            Now, as they got so close to the city that Lorifain could see the light bleeding through the dark, and she knew she was ready. 
 *
A rough map of Beniro,. Doktham is highlighted.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Word of the Day. 9/9/11

Word of the Day

Today's word is relevant to 'Word of the Day'.
neologism [nee-ol-uh-jiz-um]
noun 
A new word, meaning, usage or phrase.

Pretty straight forward but useful to know. Other examples of modern neologisms would include: blog, twitter, meme, blogosphere, vlog, sexting, planking, vuvuzuela, frenemy, bromance, etc.






DAILY ROUND-UP. 9/8/11

Here are some things that kept me going today.

First up we got one cool cryptid discovered and then we got a big discovery!

iO9's CRYPTID CONTESTANT FINDS WHITE CHEETAH! 

io9.com is a great website for finding out the newest news in the world of science, sci-fi, fantasy, and general nerdery. Over the summer of 2011 they held a contest to find pictures, fake or hopefully real, of undiscovered or cryptozoological (a word that's great for word of the day tomorrow) animal. 
  
They apparently received an entrant of a picture of a white cheetah. It is possible that this could be the "King Cheetah" of African myth or it is just an albino. Either way it's pretty cool to find something this rare.


A much bigger story, out of South Africa, is the discovery of a mostly complete fossilized skull of Australopithecus sediba. It may be the most accurately dated hominid in the fossil record and will shed light on our genetic ancestry. Sweet.






Nappa is in a flashback. What more do you need? Besides King Vegeta, Piccolo merging with Nails and Krillin getting his ass kicked for the 15th time? 

This episode is hilarious and I really can't recommend this series enough to casual and hardcore fans of the classic anime series.

 


PHELOUS REVIEWS CROCODILE! 
One of the lesser known internet reviewers, I really love Phelous's videos. He has a very "meh bleh" style but somehow gets my kind of humor. I love this review and Princess is really the best character in this terrible monster movie.


ORSCON SCOTT CARD's HAMLET!? WTF!!?! 

It is unfortunate when a once respected author gets a little too preachy and bat-poo crazy. Orson Scott Card brought us Ender's Game and Speaker for the Dead, two classic sci-fi novels with deep character depth and universal messages. His other books and stories? Not so much.

In his version of Hamlet, the main character, Hamlet, is unabashed by all the murder and mayhem about him. Furthermore, Hamlet's dad is gay and a pedophile who molested and turned Horatio (his murderer), as well as about six other characters gay. Cuz Orson Scott Cards thinks all children who are molested become gay then become pedophiles and create a vicious cycle. 

Seriously, the man and his politics needsto be put out to pasture.


A NIFTY STAR TREK TIMELINE! 

Star Trek is hitting its 45th anniversary and, as a somewhat new fan of the show (Star Trek: Next Generations is awesome) I was really impressed by this sweet timeline.




And finally a PSA...

 

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Word of the Day. 9/8/11

Word of the Day

Today's entry has a special place in the hearts of all Dungeons & Dragons fans. This word, this symbol, was once the 27th letter of the alphabet.


"What this? You gotta be freakin' kidding me? That's an ampersand!"
ampersand [am-per-sand]
noun
A character of symbol (&) for 'and'. 




The ampersand symbol (&) predates the actual term by nearly two millennium. In the first century, Roman scribes wrote in cursive, that unappealing written form that we all should do away with forever, and so when the wrote et, which means 'and' in latin, the scribes would link the e to the t. Overtime the symbols came to mean and as well.

"Ampersand" came many years later when "7" was the 27th part of the English alphabet. In the 19th century, school children recited the symbol as part of their ABCs and started to say "and per se and" which evolved into the word we use today: "ampersand".




STUFF I THINK ABOUT! CATS 1. Ownership

You can own a dog. You cannot own a cat.

Theoretically, the cat is your own. You feed it, shelter it, groom it, love it and even care about it (though it rarely seems if they care about you in any real way). Yet, a cat was never your property and, if it so wishes will return to the ethereal mists of the cat’s private world and ultimately, get hit by a car. The cat is not your property.

In this way, a cat is like an Apple product you just brought from the Apple store (or anywhere, actually).

Theoretically, the Apple product is yours. You power it, you shelter it, you keep it clean, love it and even care about it (it is only a machine, alas). Yet, an Apple product was never your property, and if Apple so wishes, it will return to the futuristic depths from which it crept, where the geniuses roam. The Apple product is not your property.

This is why, while I can appreciate a cat or an i thing, I make it a rule to own neither.

DAILY ROUND-UP. 9/7/11

Here are some things that got my attention today. (Oh and Happy Birthday Pop!)


PORTAL 2 WHEATLEY PUPPET!
This video is a few days old but, after seeing it again for about the sixteenth time, it is still one of the coolest things among cool fan things made by Portal fans. I am blown away by this puppet, this video and honestly, if this puppet maker doesn't already have an awesome job, I'm looking at you Henson Studios and/or Disney, she should!

Here is also a link to a blog detailing the design and building process.

FURIN COSPLAY BLOG!




DND FOR 8 YEAR-OLDS!
A Dad plans a Dungeons and Dragons birthday for 8 year-old son? Check. He makes custom characters with awesome and easy to understand sheets? Check check. He shares them with us like its no big deal? DAD OF THE YEAR. (Dads are awesome.)

This is awesome and proves D & D is great for all ages. I love the way these characters are drawn and the way their powers are characterized. This really goes above and beyond the call of Dad duty. Bravo.






POKEMON FIELD GUIDE IN THE STYLE OF DARWIN!
Today has just been an awesome day in fan-art. These sketches, done in the style of Darwin's field guides, complete with diagrams, observations, but unfortunately no samples, is awesome.



I really love realistic Pokemon art, as it shows a more mature and fantastic version of the cartoon monsters we all love. I chose Hippowdon because of the interaction with nature. Check it out.






SYMPHONY OF SCIENCE- THE QUANTUM WORLD!
I am a huge fan of the Symphony of Science. This is great for anyone look for a sweet techno remix or for someone who sees the beauty of the universe through the sweet lens of science.





PORTAL 2 SPACE TRIAL!

SPAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCEEEE! WEEEEHAHA!



BULBASAUR'S SOLAR BEAM!
Gotta love sweet anime moments!






10 TO AVOID XAVIERS SCHOOL FOR THE GIFTED!
Not even a passing mention of the biggest danger of all. TEENAGE ANGST! CLAWS COME OUT  MY HANDS! THESE WOUNDS THEY MUTANT HEAL!




GINYU FORCE! SPACE COSPLAY!



Wednesday, September 7, 2011

WTF WEDNESDAY 1 CAPTAIN PLANET

WTF WEDNESDAY
CAPTAIN PLANET

By Our Powers Combined.
The year was 1990. The first George Bush was president, the 90s era (sweet crimeny) of comics had begun, Rob Liefeld was about to ruin super heroes for a decade, the golden era of toy driven cartoons was dying down and the world seemed poised for another economic breakdown after a war with the space beavers. We needed a hero. Enter Ted Turner.

A billionaire playboy by day and Captain Outrageous by night. He wanted to give kids a hero that was both entertaining and educational. An edutainment hero who would lead us into a glorious and beautiful future filled with sparkling green meadows and billowing waves of oceans and tears and puppies and kittens and monkeys. He gave us Captain Planet.
90 % more mullet than other heroes.
Captain Planet and the Planeteers was a cartoon show that ran from 1990 to 1992 but has left an indeclinable mark on our cultural psyche (for better or worse). Everyone has seen an episode of Captain Planet but if they haven't they probably should.

The plot is a rather creative one, actually. Gaia, the spirit of Earth (basically chick god), awakens and finds the earth is getting messed up by humans. Now, Gaia, being a benevolent demigod decides to fight the plight with teenagers (works for Zordon). Gaia sends five magical rings, each imbued with one element, out to five teenagers around the world. These five are dubbed the Planeteers and given the task of defending the Earth from the blunders of humanity. 

Coming up against impossible odds the Planeteers combine their powers to summon an almighty djinn, Captain Planet. Comparable to Silver Age Superman, Captain Planet's powers are usually relevant to the situation, he gets his power from sunlight and he is nearly unstoppable. His only weakness is pollution.


Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Heart

Here is a quick rundown of the individual Planeteers.

 
Name: Kwame (voiced by LeVar Burton)
Element: Earth
Nationality: African
Role: Voice of reason, De facto Leader, Can be a tool
Personal Opinion: Played by Levar Burton, 'nuff said.


 
 Name: Wheeler
Element: Fire
Nationality: American
Role: Clown, Hothead, American
Personal Opinion: Kind of a jerk. Imagine giving Stifler a power ring.

 
Name: Linka
Element: Wind
Nationality: Eastern European (Originally Soviet Union but the union fell during the shows run)
Role: Strategist, logician, Girl for Wheeler to pine after
Personal opinion: She never made much of an impression but she is admirable as a good female role model. She is feminine but strong.



Name: Gi
Element: Water
Nationality: Chinese
Role: Mechanic, Forensics, Dolphin hygienist 
Personal Opinion: A little obsessed with dolphins. Seriously. Squeaky bastards.
Name: Mati
Element: Heart (Not really an element but whatever)
Nationality: South American
Role: Monkey wrangler, bleeding heart, least lucky of the 5
Personal Opinion: My favorite character because he is the underdog. When Mati got serious, you knew things were about to get awesome. I just wish he ripped out a few more hearts with his telekinesis....what?
The other great thing about Captain Planet were the reoccuring villains played by celebrities like Tim Curry and Ed Asner.



The yellow guy is called Duke Nukem, btw.
So then why does this show have such a bad reputation? I think its because Captain Planet and the Planeteers is so obviously liberal, green and educational (sometimes incorrectly) that it reminds some people of school. Furthermore, the show's stories are a little lame and characters grating, though there are a few good episodes.

Ex. Gaia became a homeless lady in one episode and in other they have to compete in an alien game show to save earth.


Yet, despite how people talk about how much it sucked, we still watched it. I happen to like the show but even I would admit it is for nostalgia and cheese. So what kept people coming? The theme song!



So the show is odd but why bring it up? Enjoy this horrifying but funny video where Captain Planet (Don Cheadle) finally unleashes his true power after decades of being teased by all those bad ass post modern people who thinks he is lame. This is hilarious, mortifying and hilarifying!