WORD OF THE DAY! 9/10/15!

SUPER TURBO ATOMIC NINJA RABBIT OPENING!

turbo [terr-boh]
noun
1. Short for "turbocharger", a method of forced induction that uses exhaust to turn a turbine which, in turn, drives an intake pump that forces more air through the engine.

EX. Why is turbo used like a descriptor or adjective for all manner of super heroes, weapons and television shows over the decades? It makes sense, I suppose, if it is related to vehicles a la Power Rangers Turbo, but I swear it was used, more often than not, to describe something that was fast or powerful.

I dunno. Super Turbo Atomic Ninja Rabbit is awesome, though. If it was a real 80's cartoon, they blew all of the budget on the intro that would play at the beginning of every episode and the rest of it would involve a lot of static shots of dialogue and action scenes reusing footage/animation alongside flashing color & light. Because cheap.

WTF WED! EVERY 90'S BABY KNOWS THE CHA-CHA-CHA! (FRANK GRIMES TOO)

EVERY 90's COMMERCIAL EVER!

I gotta admit... I saw the punchline coming with this one... BUT I DID NOT SEE THE EXECUTION COMING! Not only was the production value of this video top notch and the comedy equal parts disturbing & hilarious, it actually made me queasy (especially the uncensored version which, literally, adds about five seconds). Watch it and see for yourself.

I think it is worth pointing out that between stuff like this and TOO MANY COOKS we have reached a new and dangerous (but exciting) era in our internet nostalgia-based comedy-- we have reached the 8th season of Simpsons here, kids. That's right. We are in Frank Grimes territory.

"Who's Frank Grimes?" you ask, gormlessly, oblivious to the watershed 23rd Episode of the 8th Season of the Simpsons. (Don't watch the next link if you don't like spoilers)

HOMER'S ENEMY(spoilers)

Frank Grimes was a character introduced into Springfield in the 8th season of the Simpsons and is clearly designed to be a new straight-laced foil to Homer's chicanery. It is a pretty classic sitcom set-up-- a character, in this case Homer, can't accept that another character disliked them and, in their attempts to win them over, just make things worse. Usually, the lesson to be had in such episodes is that you can't please some people. But that's not the case in Homer's Enemy.

Frank Grimes isn't just a guy who, for no reason, dislikes Homer. He is a meta joke created to be a cynical critic of the Simpsons, specifically the beloved buffoon Homer, from the perspective of a decent and hard-working human being that somehow exists in a universe where a dumb, violent and clumsy Homer is not only beloved by all but is rewarded for his actions by being put in a position of authority-- Homer is in charge of safety at the nuclear plant-- and, despite the show pretending Homer lives in an average or even below average middle class lifestyle, lives in a big house, with a family that loves him, can go on trips, eat lobster on a whim, etc, while Grimes, a much more realistic representation of a real person, is considered to be off-base for even pointing out the bizarre logic that Springfield's universe follows. The fact is that, if you had to deal with a person like Homer Simpson, despite the fact that he is well-meaning, loves his family, and is a goofy character, etc., you would most likely find his behavior and mistakes to be criminally negligent and he would, probably, be in jail or, even more likely, dead. Much like that last sentence, the episode takes a dark turn and, perhaps worst of all, Springfield is untouched by this character's addition.

Frank Grimes comes and goes, like any other subject of the week, and is completely forgotten by the next week. He does come up in later episode(s) but these are one-off jokes. Nods to the audience. Because, while Springfield wasn't affected by Frank Grimes, the audience was affected. They were split between people who saw this episode as mean-spirited and people (like myself) who appreciated the writers having the guts to take the show into a daring direction.

In fact, Homer's Enemy might just be my favorite episode. And some of the new videos being made for mass consumption are embracing the very things that make Homer's Enemy such an important episode for long time fans.

Moving on...

WHERE'S THE BABY?

Tom Ska is all about the bizarre and off-putting humor as well and this joke, a rather simple joke, is taken to a logical conclusion in a way that is both satisfying and upsetting. Why is the latter fine in comedy? Comedy, in my opinion, is based on the defiance of expectations.

The reason that "Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!" is such an elementary joke is that is a very simple example of this concept. The expectation of the audience, who has somehow never heard this joke, is that there is a trick answer to the riddle. And there is! The trick answer is that there is no trick answer. The most obvious answer to the question is the answer. Arguably, this is anti-humor, but that's discussion for another day.

My point is that comedy is about the unexpected. Like me going on a Simpsons based rant up above and the other random musings, with hints of scholarly tone, I have been typing for the last thirty minutes or so...

CHA-CHA-CHA...

The pacing and tone of TVMAXWELL takes things even further by integrating horror staples into their comedy that will make you uncomfortable. And being uncomfortable, once again, is a vital part of comedy. Laughter is a nervous  response given by primates when exposed to behavior they don't have other behavioral responses for. This is the reason why you laugh when you're tickled and the reason you laugh when something odd or disturbing happens that you don't know how to respond to otherwise. Or some bull*** like that.

I'm done being intellectual for the day. Time to binge on chicken wings and pop.

WTF WED! THE MUSICAL! WEEABOOS, CARTOON NOSTALGIA, & POMF! NSFW!

FILTHY FRANK- WEEABOO SONG!

First? We've got a condemnation of the most extreme members of the otaku subculture. There are otaku.

otaku [oh-ta-koo]
noun
1. A Japanese term for a person with an obsessive interest, especially anime and manga.

And then there are weeaboos...

weeaboo [wee-uh-boo]
noun
1. Slang. A non-Japanese person who is obsessed with Japanese culture, especially in a superficial way that focuses on anime, manga, and the tropes therein.

I may tread the waters of otakudom, from time to time and, while I've done some weeaboo-ish things before (every non-Japanese person who likes aspects of Japanese culture probably has), I would say that I am pretty opposed to the notion of being categorized as a weeaboo.

I like and am a consumer of Japanese culture, both pop culture and otherwise, and history. But I also have other interests like western cartoons, comic books, and fantasy/sci-fi/horror novels. I like some Japanese games, but I don't like JRPGs. I have taken classes in Japanese. But I have also taken classes in Spanish and German. To be fair, I did pursue Japanese with the most interest and considered moving to Japan for a career in education, but my degree is in History (with more of a focus on Modern Europe) and Creative Writing (though I did write one story set in Japan). I want to revisit Japan, but I also want to revisit Australia. I don't want to live in Japan though. I like living in the USA. And I could go on talking about how I like Japanese things but I am not obsessed. I appreciate but I am also critical of Japanese culture which is seemingly rife with xenophobia, loneliness, and anxiety.

Ultimately though, what sets me apart from the weeaboos is that I don't think that Japanese culture is superior to Western culture. I don't think I'm Japanese just because I can write in Hiragana and Katakana or say a few phrases. Most importantly, I don't own a katana. Freakin' weeaboos.

ADHD- SCIENTIFIC ACCURACY THE PLAYLIST!!

ADHD has done a lot of these buggers and I've shared a few. I think the only two I haven't shared are the Pokémon and Chip & Dale videos. I think I stopped sharing them because the humor was slightly repetitive with these series-- mix scientifically accurate facts, especially disgusting and disturbing ones about the animals present, with nostalgia. And animal penises.

"The gun is good. The penis is evil."

POMFPOMFPOMF =3 WON!(SERIOUSLY NSFW)

I am subscribed to at least three youtube channels that mainly feature AMVs and other VO work by actresses with voices like little Japanese girls. As a fan of voice artists and someone who is subscribed to about 100 channels, this is just a side-effect of my dangerous trek through the mountains of otakudom.

pomf [pawmf]
noun
1. The sound effect made when someone falls back onto a bed.

This video will probably make you uncomfortable. It should. I makes me uncomfortable and yet I'm sharing it with you because that's what I do.

Everyday I stare into the abyss of the internet. My damnation is inevitable. I never stood a chance.

This has been another WTF Wednesday article, when and where we gape into the wound where the internet's heart used to be. Pomf.

Ya'll deserve a palate cleanser if you made it this far.

Nevermind. I give up. I'm gonna crawl under a rock now and die. WTF Japan indeed.

WTF WED! THE NOSTALGIA CRITC & THE ANGRY VIDEO GAME NERD in THE MYSTERY OF THE YANNICORN!

WTF WEDNEDSAY PRESENTS

NOSTAGLIA CRITIC & AVGN ANIME? 

D-DESUKA!? This was a real weird one to find out about, but its sort of completely awesome to know that there are fans for our favorite internet reviewers over in Japan! I've talked about the Angry Video Game Nerd before (check out this classic article of AVGN VS. Arino the Kacho), but I don't think I've really pimped out Nostaglia Critic. The Critic is a character at the center of an entire network of video reviewers. The character Doug Walker plays is a personification of the cynical critic in all of us critical folk when it comes to entertainment-- going off into rants and moments of temporary insanity in reaction to horrors like...well...TWO ANIMATED TITANIC MOVIES?! (One HERE. And one HERE). His specialty is reviewing 80's and 90's tripe, but has known to do some retrospectives, top ten lists, and has started breaking into the 2000's for some fresh nostalgia & exceptions. Doug Walker actually retired the character last summer but, to quote him, "the review must go on!" He started reviewing again-- he may have changed some things but, if the Pearl Harbor review is any indication, the King is back baby.

CHARLIE THE YANNICORN

This a new classic animation from secretagentbob, featuring, in their debut roles, the Yannicorn, Kenny G.sus, &, last but certainly not least, Munch the Hungry Star Cat Fish! The Star Cat Fish really steals the show with

"Little Kitty Baby eating marshmallow pie, oh man!

Sometimes I feel like my life is a marshmallow lie!

Little Kitty Baby eating the world with my face,
OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM!"

Bonus nerd points if you can name off the titles to these classic Hanna Barbera cartoons in the comments below.

WTF WED! 90s NOSTALGIA & THE DEATH OF CHILDHOOD?

WTF WEDNESDAY PRESENTS

UKINOJOE'S 90s NICK'S LAMENT

This week's WTF WEDNESDAY is Ukinojoe's satirical lament from the perspective of a previously one-off character that appeared as a representative of a viewer's comment, 90s Nick. As I'm a 90s kid, I get both the nostalgia and the frustration towards this nostalgia that is all over the internet; our generation is getting older and, like every generation, we think our childhood was the best and, through our jaded eyes, what the kids are into these days doesn't compare. I feel sympathy for this character because he is unable to move on from his childhood; in the frustrated world of adulthood nothing is as cool as it was in cartoons. Or something like that.... I also get the irony of most of the things I post on this blog feeding off of 90s nostalgia. Anways, here is a transcript of 90s Nick's Lament:

"Remember the 90s?
The 90 were so much better.
Everything was better in 90s.
Here is the 90s. If you don't remember:
You did not have a childhood.
You were not a child.
You retroactively did not exist.

Remember Bobby's World?
It was a good show!
You're too young to remember.
It was a good show!

We had Nintendo 64. You don't.
Things were better than. Now all is lost.
Including hope.
Which is dead.

We had:
Nintendo games,
Bowling alleys,
Pizza parties,
McDonald's,
Skating rinks,
Ice cream,
Nickelodeon,
Cartoon Network,
Elmer's glue,
Safety scissors,
Tootsie rolls,
Combos,
Swimming pools,
O.J. Simpson,
Green Day--
We had Green Day.
What do kids these days have? Nothing.

The 90s are over. All that's left is despair.
The day the 90s died, all joy died.

This generation, they don't know
They don't know.
Kids these days,
kids these days.
This generation they don't know.
They missed out. "

WORD OF THE DAY! 6/4/12.

Olmec [ol-mek]

adjective

1. Of or designating a Mesoamerican civilization, c1000–400 b.c., along the southern Gulf coast of Mexico, characterized by extensive agriculture, a dating system, long-distance trade networks, pyramids and ceremonial centers, and very fine jade work.

noun

2. A member of the ancient people who belonged to the Olmec civilization.

WORD OF THE DAY! 5/13/12.

run-down [ruhn-doun]

adjective

1. Fatigued; weary; exhausted. 

2. In a state of poor health: He was in a run-down condition from months of overwork.

3. In neglected condition; fallen into disrepair: a run-down house.

4. (of a spring-operated device) Not running because it is unwound.

EX. Things haven't been quite the same for Captain Planet since he slipped on the pee-pee at the Costco. Sure, he got a cash settlement, but seeing him toddling around his rascal and letting his once glorious mullet and body become run-down and dumpy is just depressing.

"AH! AFTER TEN-THOUSAND YEARS, I'M FREE!"

"ITS TIME TO CONQUER EARTH!"

WTF WEDNESDAY 1 CAPTAIN PLANET

WTF WEDNESDAY

CAPTAIN PLANET

By Our Powers Combined.

The year was 1990. The first George Bush was president, the 90s era (sweet crimeny) of comics had begun, Rob Liefeld was about to ruin super heroes for a decade, the golden era of toy driven cartoons was dying down and the world seemed poised for another economic breakdown after a war with the space beavers. We needed a hero. Enter Ted Turner.

A billionaire playboy by day and Captain Outrageous by night. He wanted to give kids a hero that was both entertaining and educational. An edutainment hero who would lead us into a glorious and beautiful future filled with sparkling green meadows and billowing waves of oceans and tears and puppies and kittens and monkeys. He gave us Captain Planet.

90 % more mullet than other heroes.

Captain Planet and the Planeteers was a cartoon show that ran from 1990 to 1992 but has left an indeclinable mark on our cultural psyche (for better or worse). Everyone has seen an episode of Captain Planet but if they haven't they probably should.

The plot is a rather creative one, actually. Gaia, the spirit of Earth (basically chick god), awakens and finds the earth is getting messed up by humans. Now, Gaia, being a benevolent demigod decides to fight the plight with teenagers (works for Zordon). Gaia sends five magical rings, each imbued with one element, out to five teenagers around the world. These five are dubbed the Planeteers and given the task of defending the Earth from the blunders of humanity. 

Coming up against impossible odds the Planeteers combine their powers to summon an almighty djinn, Captain Planet. Comparable to Silver Age Superman, Captain Planet's powers are usually relevant to the situation, he gets his power from sunlight and he is nearly unstoppable. His only weakness is pollution.

Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Heart

Here is a quick rundown of the individual Planeteers.

 

Name: Kwame (voiced by LeVar Burton)

Element: Earth

Nationality: African

Role: Voice of reason, De facto Leader, Can be a tool

Personal Opinion: Played by Levar Burton, 'nuff said.

 

 Name: Wheeler

Element: Fire

Nationality: American

Role: Clown, Hothead, American

Personal Opinion: Kind of a jerk. Imagine giving Stifler a power ring.

 

Name: Linka

Element: Wind

Nationality: Eastern European (Originally Soviet Union but the union fell during the shows run)

Role: Strategist, logician, Girl for Wheeler to pine after

Personal opinion: She never made much of an impression but she is admirable as a good female role model. She is feminine but strong.

Name: Gi

Element: Water

Nationality: Chinese

Role: Mechanic, Forensics, Dolphin hygienist 

Personal Opinion: A little obsessed with dolphins. Seriously. Squeaky bastards.

Name: Mati

Element: Heart (Not really an element but whatever)

Nationality: South American

Role: Monkey wrangler, bleeding heart, least lucky of the 5

Personal Opinion: My favorite character because he is the underdog. When Mati got serious, you knew things were about to get awesome. I just wish he ripped out a few more hearts with his telekinesis....what?

The other great thing about Captain Planet were the reoccuring villains played by celebrities like Tim Curry and Ed Asner.

The yellow guy is called Duke Nukem, btw.

So then why does this show have such a bad reputation? I think its because Captain Planet and the Planeteers is so obviously liberal, green and educational (sometimes incorrectly) that it reminds some people of school. Furthermore, the show's stories are a little lame and characters grating, though there are a few good episodes.

Ex. Gaia became a homeless lady in one episode and in other they have to compete in an alien game show to save earth.

Yet, despite how people talk about how much it sucked, we still watched it. I happen to like the show but even I would admit it is for nostalgia and cheese. So what kept people coming? The theme song!

CHECK OUT THE INTRO! CLICK THIS!

So the show is odd but why bring it up? Enjoy this horrifying but funny video where Captain Planet (Don Cheadle) finally unleashes his true power after decades of being teased by all those bad ass post modern people who thinks he is lame. This is hilarious, mortifying and hilarifying!

Don Cheadle is Captain Planet.CLICK HERE!