FTW FRIDAY! DAN WILSON, OMELETTE DAUGHTER, AND SPONGEBOB AGREE: WE GOTTA GET SPONGEBOB BACK!

DAN WILSON: OWNER OF IOWA'S LARGEST WILDLIFE RESERVE!

RED LETTER MEDIA is one of my go-to sources for finding the next "hidden gem" or should I say "buried turd" that has been left behind in the age of "shot on shit-eo" films and straight-to-home-video VHS. One of the highlights on their Best of the Worst series has been the series of prank phone calls for performed by Rich Evans whenever they find a working number on the back of one of these old VHS tapes.

The video begs the question, "Why not make a VHS to entertain dogs?"

Rich trumps this question with "Why not make a VHS to entertain giraffes?"

Priceless.

OMELETTE DAUGHTER

Priceless like a father's love for his daughter, even if his daughter is actually just an egg or three egg-daughters combined into some sort of delicious but terrible abomination of an omelette daughter being raised by four sketch comedians.

This is the sitcom 90's America didn't want but would've ate up.

WE GOTTA GET SPONGEBOB BACK!

"We GOTTA get SPONGEBOB back!" -Ukinojoe, 2015

Now, for a palate cleanser.

WTF WED! WATCH DOGS TEAR APART BLONIC IN THE SUMMER OF 1976!

WATCH DOGS (dunkview)!

So, Watch_Dogs has been the most hyped video game since 2012 and who can blame gamers for falling for the hype?

Look at the first gameplay footage.

Gamers were promised a next generation experience that was only truly possible on a powerful PC or next generation console. Unfortunately, the graphics delivered in the final product were, while fine compared to other games, paled in comparison to what had been previously advertised... Furthermore, the gameplay (as I predicted) is the recycled and retrofitted gameplay of Assassin's Creed into a city setting with terrible driving mechanics (driving missions are prevalent) and a bland milktoast story. So what happened?

Modders discovered that the graphic settings used for E3 2012 can still be found in the PC version's code. This means that the graphical features, like weather effects and lighting, that had blown away the audience back in 2012 are actually hidden in the game. Why?

Also, why couldn't they have hid a better game in the code like Mario Kart 8? *slam dunk*

BLONIC SEZ -- SMOKING!

Hey kids! Are you excited for an original PSA on smoking? I'LL SAY! Oops! I left capslock on! How embarrassing!

LAST DAY OF SCHOOL 1976!

I didn't really have many friends that lived nearby when I was a kid/teen so Summer was usually the longest, loneliest and most boring part of my childhood. The happier memories involve visiting relatives and doing stuff with my family. The rest of my summer was usually spent watching TV, reading books, or being bored. Sometimes, nostaglia blows.